Bittersweet
by SulpiciaDoesntApprove
Summary: Yes, she likes the idea of thinking of herself as some sort of Anne Boleyn, the royal lover against all odds. But unlike Anne, she is not planning to get her head chopped off.
1. Shadows and Light

_**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. It's also just a fictional world. If it weren't the Volturi probably would have killed me by now.**_

_**Ok, I actually wanted to write some **__**harmless Jane, Aro bonding time. And what happens? It turns into a Jane/Aro angst-feast. I'm hopeless! ;)**_

_**Some further explanation: **__**I do NOT support pedophilia. I support Jane/Aro.**_

_**Pros for Jane/Aro: **_

_**- Jane is about fourteen in my mind. She is a teenager. She can fall in love.**_

_**- **__**Aro can't be older than twenty-eight. And they're both ancient vampires anyway.**_

_**- **__**Shared interests? Check. Like power and plotting evil master plans, for example.**_

_**- **__**Star-crossedness. You can't deny it!**_

_**Cons for Jane/Aro: **_

_**-**__** He is married. To a woman that doesn't seem to play an important role in his life.**_

_**- **__**Jane looks like a teenager. With the mind and life experience of a seven hundred year old.**_

_**Tell me what you think!**_

---

Jane is ready to leave. She stands by the narrow window in her small room, absorbed in thoughts. It's twilight.

Grey shadows creeping. The shadows envelop her, make her merge with the massive bleak stone walls. She likes it this way. Or at least, she has gotten used to it. It doesn't make a difference anyway.

She has already said goodbye to her brother. He isn't coming along, but it is only going to be a short thing anyway. Nothing to worry about. Just some newborns that got out of control and need to be taught the rules of the game. Easy enough. An unladylike snort escapes her full lips.

Maybe it will do her good to get out of the restricting walls of Volterra again. Time to breathe some fresh air and think. Yes, that's what she needs. Get away and get some space to breath freely, for her chest feels way too tight for comfort at the moment.

There is a soft knock on the door.

That surprises her. Alec's knock is usually different, calm and rhythmic. And Felix never knocks, he just storms in like the impolite brute he is. Not that she has any private life, but still.

But this knock is not like the others. Gentle but still urgent. Lively.

She isn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now. There are too many things going through her head. Things she doesn't want to talk about. Things nobody needs to know about.

Another knock. It's Aro.

"Do you mind if I come in?" he asks, his voice unsure. That astonishes her even more than him actually wanting to talk to her. Aro doesn't ask for permission for irrelevant matters like this and he most definitely isn't an insecure man. Yet now he seems to be.

"Sure," she answers, but doesn't turn around to look at him. She really doesn't dare right now. Instead she keeps on staring out the window, eyes fixed on an olive tree that sways lightly in the evening breeze a couple of miles away. She listens to the cicadas chirring in the shadows.

He comes to lean against the window frame right next to her. They're both standing in silence for a while. She still doesn't turn to face him and takes good care not to touch him accidentally. But she doesn't move away from his proximity either. She just stays. It feels nice, she thinks. Just standing next to him, not talking. This moment could last.

"Jane," he finally speaks, and it makes her jump just so slightly. Did he hear her thoughts? She is alarmed for a fraction of a second.

But no, he can't know. I'm keeping my thoughts to myself well, she thinks gloomily. She looks up at him hesitantly.

"Jane," he starts again. He calls her by her name a lot lately. Before, he used to refer to her as "child" most of the time. "Jane" had been reserved for occasions when he had not been pleased with her. Not anymore. In fact, he hasn't called her "child" in quite some time, she recalls.

"Yes, master?" she looks at him questioningly. Her mask of apathy is already falling.

His brows furrow just so slightly. A split second later, his forehead is smooth again. "Felix, Santiago and Afton will accompany you too," he informs, his words assertive, his expression still serious.

Demetri, Corin and six other members of the guard are already scheduled to come with her. That is already more than necessary. Newborns are easy to deal with. Jane doesn't understand. Felix, Santiago and Afton too? Why? Why Afton? His talent is certainly much more needed here in Volterra than with her.

Why does he want them to go with her all of a sudden?

"But master, don't you need them here?" she asks, not able to hide her skepticism, "Felix and Afton especially?"

"I surely can cope with just Renata as my guard for a few days, can't I?" is his only response. It's obvious in his tone that he will not tolerate any protest. He stares at something behind her back, his face thoughtful. He doesn't sound angry, but his expression is still not as cheerful as usual. There is something dark in the tight lines of his lips.

Jane remains silent. She doesn't know what to answer. Instead, she watches the shadows creep. Darkness to darkness, she muses.

"I can take care of myself," he adds, pinching the bridge of his nose between his long, beautiful fingers. She just stares at him. He sighs.

"Just promise me to be safe," Aro pleads, with something strangely close to concern in his low voice, and suddenly he is very close.

His face so close to hers is all she can think of. His sweet cold breath washes over her face. His scent is all around and makes her feel lightheaded. Citrus fruit, aromatic rosemary and sweet honey. He smells like summer and sun and.... She takes a deep breath, inhales sharply and her gasp is embarrassingly loud in the silence, but she is too woozy to care. She can taste him on the back of her tongue, like wine. The most delicious flavor ever.

Sun, more than anything else, she decides. Light.

A strand of long soft raven hair brushes her cheek lightly and her brain can't form a single coherent thought anymore. And then….

"… did you hear me?" he looks at her like he's seriously starting to question her sanity. Like she has lost her mind. He has that worried, sorrowful look in his eyes. And she realizes that this hurts.

She blinks at him. "Huh?" Her voice is raspy, embarrassingly so. She averts her gaze to the plain dark stone floor.

The shadows creep. The have gathered in the corners like dust fluffs. They linger.

"You take good care of yourself, will you?" he repeats, his voice only a faint whisper.

She swallows hard and nods, but still keeps her head down, her gaze still on the stone floor to her feet. Her eyes follow hidden patterns in the darkness. What is she supposed to say? Her thin, plain hair falls in her face. Her mouth is dry. "I promise."

"Good," he breathes. There is something in his eyes that appear to be almost coal black now in the dim light of her chamber. But she can't quite put her finger on what it is.

Then he turns around and leaves, his long black cloak and raven hair billowing behind his tall frame. He walks out the door and around the corner. She hears his light footsteps trail away in the dark.


	2. Lying and Denying

_**(I've **__**made some changes in this chapter, I didn't really like the first version of it.)**_

_**I decided to turn this into a longer story. Jane/Aro is just too adorable!**_

_**Behold, I even have a story line now! **_

---

Jane lies in the high grass. The sun warms the back of her head but other than that her dark grey cloak is wrapped around her small androgynous body tightly. She lies completely motionless. Her face pressed to the warm earth. She doesn't need air to breathe anyway. And the worms stay from her. She likes the damp, earthy smell, the calming effect it has on her.

But even the earth smells faintly like sun.

She groans into the ground. It's more of a moan than a growl.

She can't understand how this could happen. It makes her feel completely helpless. And that isn't how it is supposed to be. Jane of the Volturi never was helpless before. Helpless and hopeless.

An earthworm is making its way through the soft ground below her, she can feel its sinuous movements. And there are birds, and grasshoppers, and everything around her is bubbling over with life. She is the only dead one here.

It's just a crush, she tells herself. A silly, embarrassing, silly, silly crush that will go away. But she knows it's really so much more. Vampires don't have simple crushes. It's just not in their nature. Vampires find true love only once.

And she will never be that one.

How could she? She is just a child to him. Just a child. Being immortal never actually bothered her before. It helped her forget about her human life. It gave her power.

But now it turned into a curse for her. Stuck in a child's body for all eternity. And this knowledge makes her dead heart ache so badly. Like ice and fire running through her empty veins at the same time and it's just way too much for her to take. Is this how they feel when she burns them?

She digs her hands into the soft soil weakly. A sparrow is singing in the distance. She tries hard to block everything out. And then she can hear someone running towards her.

The big strides can only be Felix'. Felix, of all people. She suppresses another moan. Cheerful, straightforward Felix is the last person she wants to see right now. _Go away_, she yells in her head, _just go away. Please. _But of course he can't read her thoughts. He can't.

"What's up crappy?" he approaches her. And she is close to lunge at him and burn him. But then again she is too apathetic. "Leave. Me. Alone." she mumbles into the ground instead. She knows he can hear.

Felix' steps slow down. She feels him plop down next to her gracefully. "Uh-oh," is his only comment.

"Uh-oh" doesn't even cover it. She turns around, slowly. Glaring. Felix looks frightened now. Can he see the pain behind her mask of apathy? She hopes not.

She sits up with an annoyed sigh. It sounds fake to her ears. And waits for him to get it over with. Whatever it is what he wants.

But Felix surprises her. Instead of making some inappropriate Felix comment about the clumps of earth in her hair, he just stays silent. The fresh wind and her own slow breathing is everything for a moment.

"I just started to wonder what you were doing here," he picks up the conversation after a while. All she wants him to do is leave her alone.

"Felix, would you mind-"

"I know, I know," he interrupts her and then, in a flawless imitation of her own high piercing voice: "Leave. Me. Alone."

She just stares back at him.

"Aren't you thirsty?" he finally asks. He sounds concerned. Most of their group have fed only half an hour ago. They have finished their task and are now heading back home. The meal had been really quite satisfying. A group of hikers.

But she hadn't been in the mood.

"No," she replies grimly. But her black eyes betray her.

"What's wrong, Jane?" Ah, straightforward Felix is back.

She doesn't answer. What is she supposed to tell him?

_Oh you know, I just happen to be madly in love with Aro, who is supposed to be my master and I'm only a child to him and he is married and there really is no way and __I'm trying hard to keep this from him and everyone else and I really just want earth to open and swallow me up right now._

Hardly.

"Nothing," she whispers instead and looks down to her feet gloomily. Her thin arms are wrapped around her knees tightly.

But of course Felix is not stupid. He sighs.

"You're a very bad liar my dear Jane," he states. "You're not feeding, you're not talking and you're not even enjoying torturing others. The Jane I know is either royally pissed or sulking with a passion when she is angry. Not gloomy and apathetic and… lifeless like this," he makes a gesture with his hand toward her, "so don't tell me there's nothing wrong with you. There is _definitely_ something not right."

It's hard to fool Felix. He is too honest himself for others to deceive him.

"Oh, you got me," she tries sarcasm.

But Felix isn't finished yet. "You rival Marcus lately."

Ouch. Her mask of apathy falls for the fraction of a second, and of course Felix sees.

"Hey," he tries to comfort her but Jane flinches away. "Maybe it'll help if you talk about it." He is worried for her, she can tell. Felix really cares. And how she wishes for someone to understand her. Anyone.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs, "but it's impossible to talk about it." She looks at him, her cherubic face apologetic. She is sorry.

Jane watches the sun turn their skin to glitter.

"You like the sun, don't you?" Felix states, his eyes wandering in the distance. And yet again he seems to read her thoughts precisely. Jane turns away. The hatred that rises in her throat like a burning lump is directed toward herself.

Felix is wise enough to not press the topic further.

They sit in the high grass, the landscape before them bathed in soft orange light and the evening sun is setting yet again. How symbolic, Jane darkly thinks to herself. She closes her eyes.

Felix words mix with the fresh breeze from the mountains. "You're quite pessimistic, you know that?"


	3. Moths and Motes

_**Jane loves Aro. Aro loves…?**_

_**Well, you'll see…. ;)**_

---

Jane is trying hard. She really is.

Felix is right after all. The others notice. And she doesn't want that. She doesn't want to be miserable and weak. She doesn't want him to find out. Or Alec. Or….

She doesn't even want to imagine what will happen when he finds out. She clenches her teeth. He will not understand, she knows. Her adoration, her desire, her love. There is no chance he will return her feelings. She is positive about that.

He will laugh. He will laugh his endearing, jaunty laugh. He will laugh at her, silly, unknowing little girl. And she doesn't think she will be able to take that.

With superhuman strength she yanks her closet open. With raw strength that may seem furious to an outside observer, but really is just desperate deep down. The old wood cracks, but nothing breaks. A cloud of dust is stirred up, she hasn't opened most of the drawers in a while. The dust particles dance in the rays of sunlight that fall into the narrow room.

She is trying hard to not even think about it. She is trying to forget. As if that was possible!

First she cleans out the drawers with her clothes with an energy she doesn't really possess. There are moths and motes everywhere and it's quite surprising that there are still some clothes not completely eaten away. She crushes some of the moths between her fingers. But there is no reason to what she is doing.

She finds several old dark grey cloaks, her and Alec never wasted their time on the light grey ones. They are covered in dust.

She also finds some plain shirts and jeans. Nothing girly, she has always been more of a tomboy. She never wasted her time on clothes and things like that as long as she had something to wear. It has never mattered to her before.

She picks out a simple, shapeless light blue t-shirt and holds it to her androgynous body.

Regarding herself closely in the reflection of the window. If it weren't for the full lips, it could be Alec that stares back at her from the glass with hollow, bitter eyes.

"Hello there, plain Jane," she mouths at her reflection, "you look just like a boy." Her voice drips with acrid bitterness.

She goes back to clearing her closet very quickly.

The small drawer at the very bottom of her closet is locked. She pulls out the old, iron key she wears on a string around her neck. It's her secret drawer. A place where she keeps secret things. A variety of small treasures, memories from her human life. She also used to have a diary, but then she figured that there wasn't happening much in her life anyway. And if she had a problem she could always talk with Alec about it.

She sighs. Her brother always had the best advices for her. He would listen to her and then think about things she could do about her situation. Alec always understood. He was always there for her. So now she feels even worse. Because there is no way she can talk with him this time.

He has asked her how she feels. What it is that makes her shut herself in her room and cry and not talk to anyone. And with every time she replies "nothing" his expression grows more painful.

By hurting herself she hurts Alec too.

She takes a wooden box from the furthest corner of the drawer. It's small and inconspicuous. Inside there is more dust.

The box is filled with all the few things that mean most to her. There is an amulet, a tiny doll and a coin in there. The amulet was her mothers. She took it from her when she was lying at her feet cold and lifeless. And her smile had been triumphant and apologetic equally that moment. The amulet reminds her not to forget. She takes it in her hands carefully and blows the motes away.

She holds it in her hand meditatively and lets it swing back and forth. The memories will be burned into her mind forever.

She watches the reflections of light on the blank metal lazily.

Next, she takes out the doll. Alec has made it for her when they were about six years old. It was so sweet of him, beyond words. They didn't have any other toys. The doll is in really bad shape because she has cuddled it so many times. Now she only holds it in her hands and then puts it back into the box gently.

The stone means most to her. She saves it for last.

The dust motes dance.

A polished ruby stone. Red, sparkling and beautiful. It's a real one at it must be worth a small fortune. But that's not why it's so precious to her.

When she was only a few weeks old, new to this live that isn't really one, she got it.

Aro gave it to her.

"_Ruby is a symbol for life,"_ she remembers him explaining to her, "_it will give you power, dignity and courage."_ And he smiled at her kindly and pressed the blood red stone into her right hand. _"See it as a lucky charm that will help you to control your temper tantrums." _And even back then his words made her feel happy.

It had been easy back then. He really had just been her master, her friend, her hero. There hadn't been any problem with him reading her thoughts. There hadn't been anything there she had to keep from him.

No creepy thoughts from a confused little girl.

She shakes her head. Her thoughts, they frighten her too. She isn't supposed to think of him this way, she knows. But how can she not?

Sulpicia is lucky. So lucky. She can't even put her envy into words.

And that's why she can't even think about him touching her. Can't consider letting him touch her.

It makes her feel even more miserable.

---

_**Ruby doesn't only symbolize life and courage, but also love, by the way. (Now I feel extremely smart! hehe)**_


	4. Stars and Moon

_**I'm addicted to writing. Seriously!**_

_**All chapters so far are**__** rather angsty. This one still is, but the next one will be a bit more…. optimistic. If that's possible when you're wretchedly in love.**_

_**Please review and tell me what you think!**_

---

Jane feels like crying.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Alec asks again, worried. He is sitting on her bed and watches her, sitting huddled against the cold stonewall right below the window, knees under her chin. The silver moonlight bathes her bare forearms in soft silver light. The fair small hairs on them shimmer.

Her face a transparent mask of apathy with the fading hint of a fake smile.

"We're worried about you, Jane," Alec adds. His kind face is sad. Heidi nods in agreement, she is here too.

Even Aro is. Aro, who she wants to see most and least.

It's like some kind of inquisition, she thinks, but she has been through that before. The questions, the accusations. She can always lie.

They stand by the door, not being as brave as Alec. For some reason they seem to expect her to snap any moment now. Like they anticipate some characteristic fit of rage with things and people getting hurt.

The only person getting hurt here is herself.

"You're totally not yourself", her brother continues mercilessly, "and you won't talk about it with anyone. Not even your own brother." He looks at her accusingly.

She shrugs. It really is the only thing she can do.

Alec snorts. "Thanks for having so much trust in me," he spits angrily. But his voice is so little it ruins the effect of his tough speech instantly.

Making Alec feel miserable is the last thing she wants.

"Look, Alec, I already told you. I'm really, really, truly sorry," she tries to explain, "but I'm just feeling a little down right now. You really don't need to worry too much. I'm fine."

Fine.

_What a liar you are, Jane,_ her conscience, whispers to her.

Alec is angry now. She can tell. His lips tremble and his dark eyes gleam. It's so hard to make apathetic Alec furious. And to know that her inexcusable behavior is the reason for his rage makes her feel even worse about it.

"What a liar you are, Jane," Alec hisses. He gets up and comes to crouch down in front of her. He looks her straight in the eyes with all his might. She can see the concern, the furry and the disappointment in his eyes clearly. She can feel her mask slipping. It takes her all of her power not to flinch away.

"You don't just _feel a little down_," Alec throws at her and the way he imitates her voice is really painful for her to listen to. "It's downright excruciating to look at you! You're hollow, you're moody, you're sorrowful! I can't help but being worried! Worried for you, my dear sister! I can hear you crying alone at night when you think nobody does!" He exhales sharply. There is silence.

Not even Aro does as much as breathe. She only watches him, standing there by the door like a marble sculpture veiled in his pitch black cloak and midnight hair. His handsome features are as white as snow in the moonlight, almost translucent. Her heart aches.

But Alec isn't finished yet. "Your self-pity is wearing us all out!"

Jane pants for air. Self-pity? Does he really think that's what it is about? Does he think that's why she is behaving like a complete idiot towards him, her own brother? Does he think that's why she has been avoiding Aro for weeks, no, months? And the anger rises hotly inside of her.

She jumps up and everyone takes a quick step back. "Is that what you think?!" she yells, "that I'm hiding from you and crying my eyes out all night because I pity myself?!" And, her temper getting the best of her, she grabs the first book she can get hold of and throws it at Aro with all her strength.

He is fast enough to duck away. The heavy book leaves a dent in the wooden door frame. Heidi and Alec gasp. Aro looks astonished, to say the least. And Jane already regrets that she did that. Sheer madness of her to throw that book at him, her master!

"Jane?" he walks toward her, hesitant. She takes a step back and feels the rough stone wall against her back.

"Won't you tell me what is wrong?" Aro pleads and his voice is honey to her ears.

But she can't. He can't know. Never.

She knows, while standing there against the cold, steady wall in her dark, moonlight-filled room, worried Alec and Heidi watching her uneasy and Aro advancing her to find the truth.

"Don't touch me," she warns, but her voice is weak and her will is too.

"Jane," Aro reassures her with a smile that makes her want to melt, "you can tell me." He holds out his hand. She would only have to take it. Then she wouldn't have to lie anymore.

Then she would not only be heartbroken, but her heart would break in two.

She can't.

"I'm really sorry Aro…. master," she whispers, "but I can't." Her face is only pained now, the mask of apathy and defiance is completely gone. She touches her cold cheeks and is surprised that there are no tears. But of course there aren't.

Outside, the clock of the old tower strikes two.

"It can't be that bad," Aro encourages her and he couldn't be more wrong. "I'm sure it will help if you talk about it."

Talk about it? What is there to talk about? She will only embarrass herself, humiliate herself, hurt herself. And him too. Even more than she is doing now.

His smile is kind and simply looking at him makes her tremble. Just to feel his cold touch again. He comes closer and his hand now almost touches her skinny arm.

A sob of anger and misery escapes her lips. "Please don't," she mouths and his hurt expression stings more than a thousand thorns ever have while she was still human.

She is a coward.

She turns around and takes the only escape that's left. She jumps out the open window and disappears into the night. The cold night wind in her short hair.

---

_**I was listening to "Cry Little Sister" by Aiden while writing this.**__** That's why there are church bells ringing. ;)**_


	5. Façades and Masquerades

_**I love the "x and y" titles, if you couldn't tell already. They're just very symbolic. **_

_**And of course Aro will find out at some point. Just not…. yet.**___

---

Jane wears her best smile. It doesn't reach her dark eyes but twists her full lips into a wide simper. That seems to be enough for most of the guard. But not for Chelsea, Heidi and Alec.

Alec especially.

And Heidi and Chelsea are bugging her at the moment to go shopping with them.

Aro appears to have decided to leave her be after the little episode in her room a couple of nights ago. She expected him to demand knowing her thoughts immediately the next morning when she snuck back in her room like a thief. But the topic never came up again. He just left her be, leaving her messed-up mind just to herself, at least for some more days. And she is more than happy about that.

A few more days of dreaming and lying to herself.

Whenever she comes back to the tower room from a mission and his face brightens, she likes to think that it's because of her. That seeing her makes him smiling and happy like that. She knows she is being pathetic.

Pathetic and desperate. But who doesn't dream of being loved?

She does, even if it is embarrassing to admit, albeit only to herself. She can't help it.

She dreams about being kissed, amongst other things, and not by someone like her brother. Alec gives her a brotherly peck on the cheek from time to time, but that's not what she longs for. She has a completely different kind of kiss in mind.

And the image will stay there, impossible to erase or hide away, unlike the thin pages of a secret diary.

"Jane, are you coming with us?" Heidi asks. She hasn't given up yet. "It's a good opportunity for you to get out of this dull room for the first time in days!" She is sitting next to her on the floor and tries her best to convince her. Heidi is like the older sister she never had sometimes.

Jane hates shopping. But then again, sitting alone in her room all day isn't going to ease their worry and suspicion about her strange behavior, is it?

Why not build up another façade on the older, decayed one?

Jane, the sadistic little girl on the outside. Jane, the desperate, lovesick wretch on the inside.

She can be anyone she wants to be. Because nobody will see through the masquerade. Nobody ever does. Only Alec looks behind the façade. But he doesn't know what to make of what he sees there. Of the broken, vulnerable girl who is his sister.

She can play any role. She can be anyone she wants to be. Except the one she wants to be more than anything else. His lover.

"I noticed you threw away many of your old clothes," Heidi says, "we will get you a new, more fashionable wardrobe." And Jane agrees. Puts on her mask and smiles.

Let the masquerade begin.

Chelsea and Heidi pick out pretty dresses for themselves. They buy revealing fishing outfits for Heidi too. "Most men are quite simple to catch," Heidi remarks, "just show off your legs and cleavage and they are practically drooling." She laughs. Jane looks down on her own body inconspicuously. There is no cleavage to show off.

Heidi drags her over to a rack with clothes in extra small sizes. She and Chelsea start to hold up one piece after the other. Jane just waits patiently. Music strange to her ears blares from the loudspeakers hidden behind the wallpapers. She watches the people around her. Inferior humans. And still, their life must be so much easier. They live and they die. They age.

They change.

"Jane. Dressing room." Heidi commands. Jane can barely see her anymore behind all the clothes that are piled up in her arms. But, being a good girl, she walks over to her. Keeping up the façade.

She puts on a simple grey sweater first. But Chelsea and Heidi only shake their heads. "Here, take this," Chelsea hands her a girly baby doll dress, "red will look good on you." It takes Jane a lot of effort to keep the scowl off her face. Chelsea smiles at her, but she also looks a bit intimidated. _Scared of me, the little witch girl,_ Jane thinks, filled with bitterness.

But all she is does is smile a fake smile back and then she closes the curtain behind her.

She tries on a pair of dark blue jeans that are extremely tight. It almost feels uncomfortable, like a second skin. But Heidi assures her that this is how it is supposed to be. The baby doll dress looks beautiful. But she would never acknowledge that she actually thinks so. "And how am I supposed to fight in these clothes?" she asks, defiant.

"Oh Jane, you look really pretty!" Heidi exclaims. She and Chelsea get exited about it like little girls. _How ironic,_ Jane thinks gloomily. "You look so much more like a girl than when you wear those boy clothes," Chelsea adds.

Jane takes it as a compliment and swallows the harsh words. She is playing along with the masquerade.

Heidi and Chelsea pay the clothes that make her feel pretty. And shallow.

It's not only about the looks.

Jane keeps quietly in the background. It has been a while since she last fed. And all the humans sweating and brimming with life in the crowded store don't make it any easier. But ripping their throats open right here where everyone is watching would be suicidal, nothing else.

She toys with the thought, and then she abandons it.

Instead, she listens to the conversation of two girls about her age some feet away. One of them has black, curly hair, the other is a tiny thing, even shorter than Jane herself. They are speaking under their breath about what they could do to appear older. Jane doesn't want to follow the conversation any further, but her ears are good.

"… put some tissues in your bra," she hears the one with the black curls suggest.

Jane snorts and an elderly woman is eying her, a confused look on her wrinkled face. _I'm not that desperate, _Jane tells herself.

Actually, she is.

She is desperate, she is barely herself.

Love is not a good feeling.

---

_**I feel sorry for Jane….**_


	6. Envy and Jealousy

_**ARGGGHHHHH!!!! I can't decide right now if I should die of utter embarrassment or if I should roll on the floor laughing! I POSTED THE WRONG CHAPTER! (headdesk) I have no idea how this could have happened, but of course the Jane in this story has nothing to do with the blogging Jane from my other fic! I'M SOOOO SORRY! And I really hope I didn't send this chapter to my English teacher accidentally….**_

_**HERE IS THE ACTUAL CHAPTER:**_

_**I just couldn't resist **__**making Sulpicia a naïve, insensitive optimist. **_

---

Jane is on her regular patrol. Roaming the countless corridors and angled corners of the Volturi castle all by herself. She prefers the shifts in the early morning hours. Just after sunrise. During that time the masters are usually conferring in the tower room and it is quiet in the long hallways.

She even goes up to the top of the tower, where the rooms of the ancients are located. It's part of the round.

Sulpicia is sitting at her vanity and the morning sun makes her fair hair, that reaches down to her waist, look like flowing gold. Jane quietly accelerates her steps and turns to leave.

But Sulpicia calls after her.

"Jane, my dear, would you mind keeping me company?" the mistress asks with a kind smile, "you know, I feel a bit lonely with the men talking all day." She makes a gesture, indicating what she thinks of that. And she looks at Jane with confiding, milky eyes. "my dear cousin Athenodora, well, she is reading silly novels all the time, so she isn't much of a company either," she adds with a wink. She smiles warmly. Inviting.

Jane is torn. She looks longingly at the flight of stairs but doesn't walk away. Sulpicia is the mistress, after all. And she can't come up with an apology that would excuse her from not staying at least a couple of minutes. It can't hurt, right?

_Keep on fooling yourself, Jane_, the small voice in the back of her head doesn't want to shut up.

"Sure," she says, but doesn't sound too convinced. Sulpicia doesn't seem to notice. "Great!" the tall, beautiful woman exclaims and turns back toward her mirror, arranging her already perfect golden curls. Jane can see herself in there too. She can see her huge, sorrowful eyes, the plump lips too big for her plain, heart shaped face.

Mistress Sulpicia looks like a Greek goddess and I'm nothing more than a… child, she realizes. She can't help comparing.

What is a moody, plain little girl with a body androgynous like a boy's compared to a gorgeous, tall, slender Beauty? She knows the answer. Nothing.

Sulpicia waves her over. "Why don't we just sit together and chat a bit?" she proposes, "we hardly get a chance to know each other."

She has never made it a big secret that she doesn't hold Sulpicia in high esteem. Sure, she is the mistress. But Alec and her used to poke fun at how her and Athenodora almost never do something to do that title justice. Of course she would never let her know. But Jane never felt like they were the best of friends.

Even before all the jealousy and envy. Which isn't Sulpicia's fault, Jane has to admit.

"So, you appear to be a bit gloomy lately," Sulpicia starts the conversation. She grabs a comb and runs it through her long, silky hair. Jane already wishes she had refused the invitation.

She stays silent, but Sulpicia digs deeper. "Aro told me that you are sad about something. But he doesn't know why. He's really worried about you." She puts the comb away and looks at Jane questioningly. "You know, I don't want to be insensitive, but if you want to talk about it…" Her beautiful face is kind. She really means it, Jane can see.

"It's really kind of hard to explain," Jane lies and to her own horror every word takes way too long to get out of her mouth. It doesn't sound natural. Sulpicia doesn't notice. Or, if she does, there is no trace of it on her powdery face.

"I'm sure I'll understand," Sulpicia puts a reassuring hand on her small one. Jane can't help feeling guilty. Sulpicia is so kind with her and she doesn't even deserve it.

Sulpicia wouldn't understand.

_I'm sure that you'll understand that I want nothing more than__ your husband to be as madly in love with me as I am with him, _Jane thinks, her thoughts full of sarcasm and bitterness.

That would be the way to go to ruin Sulpicia sweet-tempered attitude towards her like nothing.

Sulpicia drops the subject. Instead, they talk about books and other meaningless things for a while. _It could be worse, _Jane thinks and relaxes just so slightly.

The mistress is picking out a dress for the annual dance that will take place in a few days and Jane helps her.

"What do you think about this one?" Sulpicia asks and spins around to get a closer look at herself in the mirror.

The dark green dress flows down her curves like water. The velvet top piece accents her chest in a way Jane thought was never possible. The dress has a plunging neckline, but it doesn't make her look cheap in any way.

Jane feels very inferior. It's downright painful for her to watch that beautiful, lucky creature and not scream at the simple sight of her.

"I'm not sure if this one shows too much cleavage," Sulpicia ponders. She has a thoughtful expression on her face and turns around to Jane who holds the case with the jewelry for her to try on. "What are you thinking?"

Jane grits her teeth.

"Oh, but you don't have to worry about things like that," Sulpicia smiles, completely ignorant, "after all you're only a child."

That's it.

Jane's vision turns to red. She has to swallow hard to keep the venom back. She has to remember really, really hard that burning Sulpicia right there would get her into trouble. Enormous trouble.

That doesn't make it less tempting.

Doing the next best thing she can, Jane clutches the box with the stupid jewelry she still has in her hands hard. And she throws it straight at Sulpicia's ignorant, invidious face.

The pearls and diamonds scatter on the stone floor and bounce in all directions.

Jane turns and runs away, fury, envy and exasperation blurring her sight like tears she cannot spill. She doesn't look back to see the look on the mistress' face. She can tell without seeing her expression that she is in trouble. Enormous trouble.

Aro will be furious.

She locks herself in her room and awaits the inevitable angry knock on the brittle wood of the door.

Why? Why did she have to let her temper and envy and jealousy get the best of her?

Her cold hands shake with dread.

---

_**Poor Sulpicia! She really just wanted to help!**_

_**Please review!**__** AND AGAIN: I'M SORRY!**_


	7. Truth and Revelations

_**The right chapter 6 is now at its right place. And this is chapter 7.**_

_**Now**__**, I know Aro confronting Jane has been done before. But mine will still be a little different. Because the Jane in this fic is a chicken. And Aro is way too elaborate to ever come up with a spontaneous, coherent response to a surprising revelation. Ah, but you'll see….**_

_**Oh, by the way (sick of author's notes yet? ;P), I also started a sidequel to this fic from Aro's POV. I just couldn't resist. It's called**__** "Bittersweet Thoughts", for a lack of a better title.**_

---

Jane sits on the cold stone floor, and the cold creeps up her legs. She hugs her knees tightly. Like it would make her stronger in any way. Like it would save her in any way from having to reveal the truth.

And there it is, the dreaded knock on her door.

Aro comes in without saying a singe word. He just stands there, illuminated by the weak moonlight. She is getting this strange feeling of déjà-vu. There is no excuse this time.

Why doesn't he yell at her? Why doesn't he tell her that he despises her for behaving like an idiot toward his wife without any apparent reason? Why does he just keep on watching her sitting there in the corner?

She must look like a frightened little mouse to him, she knows. Hiding in the shadows.

"Jane, I think you owe me an explanation," he finally speaks. And surprisingly, he doesn't sound angry. Irritated, yes. But more worried than anything else.

Aro is a strange man. Fascinating and cheerful and beautiful. Others say he is evil. But don't they say the same about her? He is beautiful to her, on the outside and inside. Everything she ever wanted.

She feels the strong urge to slap herself.

He comes to crouch down in front of her. His cloak touches her feet, she doesn't pull them away. There really is no purpose, is there? She will not be able to dodge and hide any longer.

Just one touch and all of this will be over.

No more secrets. No more dignity.

She is used to bear people's glances. It just becomes normal when you are feared and loathed in equal shares. But she knows she will not be able to take his disgusted look as easily. It will hurt worse than anything else.

But when he lifts his hand slowly, she just keeps on staring into his eyes.

She has never felt more vulnerable before.

His hand brushes against her cheek and stays there. She tries to think about nothing else than that. That he is touching her again. His touch is warm to her.

And all her secrets and lies are being revealed. Her dead heart is being poured out.

She is just sitting there with him, on the cold floor. Breathing slow breaths. It seems like an eternity to her. And when he slowly lowers his hand from her face, she feels like dying a slow, painful death.

There is no hint of amusement or disgust in his midnight black eyes.

No, it's far worse. Shock and hurt are written all over his face. He looks so guilty, like this is any of his fault!

She grits her teeth and waits for him to tell her she is just a silly little girl. But he doesn't. He just stays there, only a few inches away from her, completely frozen in silence. The moon is shining, the mellow silver light is mocking her.

Does he expect her to say something? Is there even something to say about this disaster?

"I'm really sorry….," she blurts out, just to break the awful silence.

"Sorry?", he looks up at her and she wishes the ground would swallow her up. He tries to lift her chin up with his finger, but she doesn't let him. She turns her head away, towards the wall. She closes her eyes.

"I think I'm the one who should feel sorry….," he trails off. She turns her head just so slightly back into his direction.

What does he mean by that?

"Jane," he sighs, "this was not supposed to happen." He doesn't look at her either.

Of course this was not supposed to happen! He doesn't need to tell her! A confused little girl falling in love with her married master. Wrong on every level possible. It can't get any more messed up!

She is sure her heart will shatter any moment now. In tiny little pieces, impossible to glue together again.

"I had no idea you felt this way," Aro whispers, his long black hair falling in his face. He looks vulnerable too.

She doesn't answer. Her voice would break if she said something now.

He continues. His words sound hollow. "This…. this is wrong," he searches for words. The Aro she knows never searches for words. He is always so self-confident, so sure of what he is doing.

"You're not meant to be in love with me."

It hurts. Hurts so much.

But he just keeps on stabbing her with words. "I understand now," he murmurs, his voice velvet and sad, "that's what you kept from me for such a long time." It's a statement, not a question. Of course he knows.

He knows everything.

All the conflicting thoughts and daydreams. All the fantasies.

He knows her embarrassment too. And that makes her feel even more miserable and embarrassed.

She clenches her fists around the thin fabric of her cloak.

"But why didn't you tell me?" he questions. He is looking at her again and the intensity of his gaze makes her bow her head.

Doesn't he know that too? Why does he even have to ask? Is he playing some kind of sick joke on her?

_Because I know you could never love me,_ is that what he wants to hear from her?

"Jane? Master?" Alec stands by the door, a confused expression on his face.

Oh no. Please no.

"Is she okay?" Alec addresses Aro, "I heard about the incident with the mistress…." He lets his eyes wander back and forth between them, searching for an explanation of what is going on.

It is Jane's cue to escape. She gets up and runs past a baffled Alec. She just needs to get out of her room, with Aro still sitting on the floor, a hurt expression on his face. Maybe she will go and hunt. Maybe.

She doesn't care about anything anymore.

---

_**The end? Of course not!**_

_**Alec, you're officially the number one in showing up at the wrong place at the wrong time. ;)**_


	8. Angels and Demons

_**This story deserves some more Jane and Alec bonding time.**__** No need to rush things, right?**_

_**Also, I've already written parts of chapter ten. (winkwink) **_

---

Jane watches the Italian night.

The terracotta roof bricks are gray in the soft moonlight. The faint chirping of the cicadas and the short, sad bark of a dog is muted by the darkness. It all sounds very distant, even to her oversensitive vampire ears.

She is almost sure she can feel her heart throb painfully against her chest. But of course that's just an illusion.

Her heart is dead.

It took her so long to build up the façade. She has watched her every word and action as carefully as possible for months. And now, with one touch, it has all collapsed.

It's really not fair, is it?

He can keep on pretending that this had never happened. But she has to live with the shame, the hurt and, worst of all, the sadness.

She feels like it's crushing her.

Sorrow for all the dreams and fantasies that will never become reality. Emptiness for seeing all along that it would end in hypothetical tears. Bitterness for knowing that maybe, maybe, if she only were older, or prettier, or….

There are way too many maybes.

She doesn't want to be sad. She wants to tell herself that this is not worth it. Crying like a silly girl over a distant dream that could never become true anyway.

"He could never love you," she repeats quietly over and over again. Until it becomes a meaningless, hollow verse. Like the one she always recited before going to bed when she was a little girl.

_But you still wish he would._

She closes her eyes and tries to listen to the sounds of the night. The warm wind caresses her granite cheeks. And she knows that it won't be long until fall reaches the ancient walls of Volterra.

It was fall when they burned her, she remembers. Early fall, and she had been born in the beginning of winter. They hadn't let her live fourteen winters.

How is she supposed not to feel bitter about it?

Alec never appeared to be bothered by it. He doesn't bemoan a life, a body he never had. It just never seemed to be of importance for him. For him, this life had been a chance.

And of course it was for her too. She feels guilty for even considering otherwise.

Aro had saved her.

Aro, always Aro.

She believed him to be an angel back then. A beautiful, strange angel, veiled in his long black hair and cloak. Her guardian angel. He had saved her from death and had made her powerful. Devastatingly powerful.

And for a long time, having him as her protector and hero had been enough.

She pulls the sleeves of her cloak over her cold hands. She takes a deep breath and can smell a lonely human walking through the narrow alley below. A young woman, judging from the rather floral scent. Jane is thirsty. But not that thirsty, let alone in the mood. Torturing others has always helped a little with the gloomy mood.

But it won't today. Because she knows that her talent is both her blessing and her curse.

Others fear her, have always feared her. They fear the scary little girl with the burning gaze. And because they fear her, they respect her. In sickening, dissembling ways.

But does anyone love her?

She hears light footsteps behind her, and she knows it is Alec. Alec, the only one she could always trust. Alec, the only one who has ever loved her back unconditionally.

And she has been lying to him too.

"Jane?" his voice is barely a whisper. He swings his legs over the roof edge next to her. The nightly light makes his ash brown hair look like pale silver. The color of the moon. She keeps on staring up to the sky. Counting the stars.

"Please Jane," he pleads, "talk to me. Say something. Anything." He shakes her by the shoulders.

Aro hasn't told him then. She should be relieved.

"Master Aro said you are just going through a difficult phase right now," Alec keeps on talking, "he said I should give you some time on your own."

Difficult phase. If he wants to put it like that.

He doesn't get anything, does he?

She can't stop the snort from escaping her lips. And now she feels angry again.

All the emotions are just too much for her. Will they never stop?

Alec takes her hand in his and they sit and watch the night together. At least she does. His observant eyes never leave her pale face.

She thinks about the contradiction her existence has become.

A demon with a vulnerable soul. A woman inside a child's body. A creature of the night lost in the darkness.

She wonders idly if Alec feels the same.

And what can she lose by asking him?

"Alec," she forms words," don't you sometimes feel like you're not.... what you feel like you are? Like, everything you are feels wrong?" She looks him in the eyes unassertively.

It takes him a while to find an answer to that. The night breeze carries the faint smell of fresh baked bread to her nose. It will soon be dawn.

"I don't know," is his response at last, "I don't feel different than usual?" He makes it sound like a question. And the look he gives her is the one of a caring, concerned child brother.

She can't tell him about her feelings.

"Alec?" she asks hesitantly, "could you…. could you please just hug me?" Her expression must be as pained as her voice.

Alec doesn't say anything. He just wraps his arms around her angular shoulders awkwardly.

And she knows it must be scary for him. She, the strong one of the two of them, has never shown that much weakness before. Never.

---

_**REVIEW! **__**Yes, that means you, Favorite Story/Story Alert people! ;)**_

_**Emo Jane is emo, I know….**_


	9. Brother and Sister

_**Gah, this took me so long to write! **_

_**But it had to be written. Because Jane is not stupid. And neither is Aro.**_

_**And the title kind of fits for both Alec and Jane and Aro and Di**__**dyme.**_

---

Jane sits on her bed cross-legged, reading a book. It's old and the cover is torn and dark with age. The pages are tattered because she has read it so many times. Dante's "Divina Commedia".

She will go to hell. That's what they told her.

She will go to hell. That's what she deserves.

Hasn't she committed almost every sin possible? She has stolen, she has lied. She has betrayed and she has killed.

The dim light of the old bedside lamp casts shadows on the walls.

But then again, isn't she already punished enough? Maybe that's what hell looks like: being damned for eternity to a life reigned by fear, hate and thirst for blood, always more blood. Vampires never get enough, do they? They search for more, always more, and never have enough.

A life without a soul.

But then why does she feel like her heart is beating every time she sees him?

She knows she is being pathetic. She always was.

This life, existence anyway, is about power.

Power over others. Power over her. Power above everything else.

It's not about love.

It could never be. Love is for fools, and fools lose sooner or later. It's like a law of nature.

And it's hard for her, so hard. Her very talent shows her true nature. She is an emotional person, not a rational one. And how many members of the Volturi guard have survived over seven hundred years letting their emotions lead them?

Nobody besides her.

She could be content. She could ne happy about being a member of the most powerful coven of vampires there ever was.

But she is not.

She presses her full lips into a tight line and puts the book down. She snuggles deeper into the large, dark grey sweater. It's not hers. She has found it with the old clothes Gianna was supposed to throw away and, even though her tiny frame would fit in it two times, she decided to take it, along with a few other things. It's warm, it's comfortable. She can hide under the large hood.

Before, it must have belonged to one of the men. She doesn't know to whom, they wear their cloaks almost all the time. But she really likes it. Lately, she has taken to wearing men's clothes in general. They are really good for hiding.

The sweater is still warm from the heater it was on before. But on her icy body, the warmth is fading fast.

Heidi knocks once and enters.

Jane keeps the hood up. She debates with herself whether she should be friendly or just dismissive, as usual.

She feels too numb to bother.

"Jane, I've brought a dress for you," Heidi says. She puts it on the bed next to her. Jane doesn't even turn her head.

Tonight is the ball the Volturi hold once every decade to celebrate their victory over the Romanians. They have visitors and dance and demonstrate their superiority. Jane wants nothing more than to simply stay in her room.

She couldn't care less.

But of course she gives in. She walks down to the hall, in a beautiful royal blue dress. Heidi even curled her short, lank hair in soft curls.

Anything to make them feel less worried about her.

Alec is waiting for her by the stairs and his eyes slightly widen when he sees her.

She must look pretty, she supposes. The blue color suits her pale brown hair and snow white skin. The cut of the dress suggests curves where there are none.

But she doesn't feel pretty.

"Wow, you look pretty," Alec compliments her, "grown-up." He is wearing a dark grey suit and offers her his hand. She takes it without saying a word and together they walk down.

Many heads turn towards them when they enter.

Even he stares.

But he turns away just as quickly. Back towards the tall, white-haired vampire who he was talking to. He must be one of the numerous guests. She doesn't know any of them.

And as soon as it isn't considered exceptionally rude, she leaves Alec with Heidi and Felix to go sit in one of the furthest, darkest corners. She takes care not to crumple the dress and watches the other vampires dance.

She is the spectator nobody notices, and she doesn't mind.

Sulpicia is laughing. She chats with a small woman with wild curls. Jane can hear every word, but she decides it would be impolite to listen in on their conversation.

Marcus sees her sitting there in the dark, though. He comes over and silently leans against the column next to her. His face an everlasting mask of boredom and indifference, he is the only one who doesn't look too happy either. Great, now she's even comparing herself to Marcus!

Marcus, who hasn't smiled for almost two thousand years. Marcus, who will never smile again.

She wasn't born back then, but of course they told her.

_And maybe,_ she thinks, _that's worse._

Having your happiness, your love taken away from you at a moment's notice, thinking that maybe… maybe you could have saved her, if you only had done something differently. She couldn't have lived on with that feeling of guilt and the knowledge to be the one left behind. And to never know who killed her in the end, though he must have his suspicions about it.

That must be worse than seeing the one you love every day, happy, though it is not with you.

No, she doesn't want to swap places with the sad, lifeless vampire.

"Jane," his voice is dry and whispery. She is astonished to even hear him speak. He rarely ever does.

"Yes?" she can't help looking up at him, even though she doesn't want to.

"You know," he tells her, "when I saw _her_ for the first time, I thought I didn't stand a chance. I thought she could never love me. So many men rivaled for her attention, so why would she choose me, the quiet, uninteresting admirer over everyone else?" He pauses and looks Jane in the eyes earnestly. He didn't say her name, a tiny detail that was not lost to her.

She swallows.

"So don't be sad, Jane," he continues, "some things just need time."

---

_**Marcus telling Jane to snap out of the emoness: very ironic indeed. ;P**_

_**The song for this chapter is "Missing" by Evanescence (I might decide to make an entire playlist for this fic later….)**_

_**And: chapter 10 is already almost finished! (winkwinkwinkwink….)**_


	10. Talk and Surprise

_**Ah, chapter 10. I've been writing on this for a very long time. Because writing romance is really REALLY difficult for me. **__**It always gets too dramatic or too sappy or…. (Why did I choose to write Romance then, you ask? Because I like to complicate things! ;P)**_

---

Jane is surprised to see Alec waiting for her in her room. She throws the books on her bed, hangs her sodden cloak over the chair and changes into a dry one. She gets a brush from her small bathroom to get the knots out of her thin, soaked hair. And then she looks at her brother to tell him to get it over with.

"Aro wants to talk to you," Alec informs her, his face grave, "he said there are some things that still need to be said."

She feels her heart sinking. What more is there to talk about? Isn't she already humiliated enough?

But she knows she has no choice. And she rejects Alec's offer to accompany her gratefully but determinedly. Because she's fairly sure what the talk will be about.

When she walks in his study, Aro is standing by the window. He doesn't turn around to let her know that he has heard her, but of course he has. He looks like a marble sculpture, cold and distant.

Unreachable.

Outside, it's still pouring. The heavy, wet drops splatter against the glass window.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Her steps are slow and reluctant and she has her arms crossed over her chest. Her every gesture as defensive as possible.

And when he turns around, she doesn't flinch, though it takes all her will. He floats closer and offers her his hand. "May I?"

She puts her small, white hand in his and it's not as bad as it was that fateful night. She cringes at the memory and of course he notices. "I'm sorry Jane, that you are in pain," he says, not looking her in the eyes.

He pulls his hand away and walks back towards the window. She can only see his black cloak and raven hair. And her own hand, hanging limply in the air.

She forces herself to move it back to her side.

"Jane," his words reach her ear, "I want you to see that your feelings are not meant to be."

Authoritatively. His word is law.

She numbly watches the grey rain drops trickling down the glass, outside. They are like small rivers, never stopping.

Her face is a mask.

"If I only had known, I could have stopped this foolishness," he talks on, his words cold, icy needles piercing her skin and her heart, "if I only had known, you wouldn't be in pain now."

Jane doesn't comment on his words. If she were human, tears would be running down her cheeks.

Just like the rain on the window.

"I am your master," he sighs, "and love and power never mix well. Just look at what it did to Marcus." He turns away from the window and walks over to where she stands.

"And though I know you are mentally an adult, though I can see it in your mind, you are still too young," he continues, "when I had to change you, I never expected you to be capable of developing romantic feelings."

She keeps her gaze averted to the window.

For a while, there is silence. The rain outside and the whispery, muffled voices and noises from within and beyond the thick walls are the only sounds.

"Of course I know you could never love me," she chokes on the words, "but I can hardly change my own feelings, can I?" And now she is getting angry again. She was never one able to control her own feelings, even though she wishes she could.

Being emotionally dead like Marcus would be so much easier, so much less painful.

"Jane, please look at me." His lips are pressed into a tight line. His eyes are closed, but he opens them when she turns around.

He looks at her apologetically.

"You are too young," he repeats again, almost as if only talking to himself.

She doesn't want to listen to it anymore.

Ignoring his concerned expression the best she can, she walks past him towards the door. Her head raised high, her mind filled with anger and her heart feeling like it's going to break in two.

She has almost reached the door when, suddenly, she is pressed against the rough stone wall and his lips are pressed against hers.

"You're too young," he murmurs angrily against her lips and kisses her harder.

Her feet barely touch the ground anymore. He kisses her passionately, again and again. And she is busy keeping up with him. "I'm supposed to be your master," he whispers, "this is wrong."

"What… what are you trying to tell me?" she gasps for air. It takes her a lot of effort to tear herself away from him far enough to speak. She is totally confused by his behavior. Not that she doesn't like what he is doing. But…. "I don't underst-"

Master.

Child.

Sulpicia.

They are only words to her know. But what happened to his reasoning?

He puts a cold finger on her lips. But he also pulls away slightly. His right arm is supported on the wall behind her.

"Jane," he shakes his head, almost ruefully. She looks up at him and his eyes are less clouded than they normally are. Her lips taste like summer and she licks them once. She savors it on her tongue.

"How could you believe that I could not love you?"

Her thoughts must be as confused as her mind.

"God, even Marcus noticed," he murmurs, "but I didn't realize… not until it was too late."

He cups her cheek with his hand. "I was thinking it was just some strange, temporary feeling of affection at first. And when I finally had to admit to myself it was more I didn't know what to do about it."

He looks at her, reads her face.

He is pondering, she can tell.

And the rain splatters against the window.

"I… I should go now," she sighs and he can hear it in her thoughts, "my brother is probably anxiously waiting for me by now."

"I forgot," he sounds almost regretful. And then he smiles at her, he smiles his blinding smile.

She can't stop the goofy smile from appearing on her face.

He chuckles. "You don't know how happy it makes me to see you smile again, Jane," he tells her. And he kisses her lightly on the lips once again. "But now you should really go. Before he comes to search for you, "he adds and now his expression is serious at once, dark almost.

Jane walks back to her room and tries her best to look not too happy. Inside, her heart is overflowing with glee.

There is no place for dark thoughts for her at the moment.

Alec is waiting for her in the corridor to her room.

"Did Aro talk to you?" he asks her.

---

_**Did**__** you really think I would let Jane drown in her emoness for all eternity? But of course the drama has only just begun….**_

_**Ah, Alec is just way too cute! **_

_**Love? Hate? Tell me! :)**_


	11. Love and Power

_**WOO-HO! **__**The site actually lets me upload again! (SARCASM)**_

_**A**__**nyway, thanks so much for all the reviews on the last chapter! :) Makes me feel like writing romance is worth trying. And awkward pairings are awesome. ;)**_

_**And so the drama continues….**_

---

Jane can't stop herself from smiling from time to time. She can't pretend to be always apathetic anymore. The others can think she has lost her mind, grinning like an idiot. She doesn't care.

He loves her.

He loves her. Even though it seemed impossible, even though she still can't really believe it.

He loves her. It is like a beautiful rhyme to her, a sentence she never gets tired of hearing.

She knows she is being silly. But she can't help herself. She is happy.

Alec doesn't understand why she is suddenly in such a cheerful mood. The contrast to a few weeks ago must be enormous. He must be concerned about her sanity. And she can hardly tell him what has made all the difference.

The lies go on.

She and Alec are playing chess in the tower room. There's nothing else to do and they don't disturb anyone here with their presence. They sit by the window, rays of late sunlight falling on the chess board. She just wanted to get out of they grey walls of her small room. But if she were honest with herself, she would have to admit it's also because she wants to be around _him_.

She tries to concentrate on the game. Alec won the last time, and now she tries her best to beat him. She doesn't like him smirking at her confident of victory, just because he happens to have more patience.

His knight is almost unprotected. She sacrifices one of her pawns to take it, grinning. His smug expression turns into a scowl.

Within the next three moves she takes another of his pawns.

The chess pieces lie next to her hand on the old ebony table. Bone white to bone white.

And she starts thinking about Aro again.

Her hands are tiny in his, but it doesn't matter. When she presses her palm against his to let him read her thoughts, it still matches. It just feels right. Kissing him is a little more difficult. Even with her standing on her toes he has to lift her up, or bend down. It's a bit awkward, but she doesn't care and he doesn't seem to either. It isn't all that important. Most of the time, they meet in the middle.

He is tall, she is short.

He is bubbly, she is apathetic. Though never when he is around.

He is rational, she is emotional.

One completes the other.

Alec takes her tower. She shrugs. She can hear the ancients talk behind her and the guards walk around the room.

She makes her next move absentmindedly.

Her thoughts start drifting again.

She remembers the conversation they had in his study late at night.

_What did make you change your mind? _Her unassertive thought lingered between them in the silence. But she had to ask. Although she was too big of a coward to ask aloud.

"I love you, Jane, more than I have ever loved anyone before" he said, "and I figured that is all that should count."

More than anyone before.

More than Sulpicia?

More than his own sister?

He looked down at her, giving her the weirdest look.

And then it had been gone before she could think more of it.

"What if anyone finds out?" her voice was small, "I don't think they would understand. They would get you into enormous trouble for this." She looked up at him.

"We just have to be very careful," he smiled, "you know, then they'll never find out."

His thoughtful expression betrayed his confident words.

_What about Sulpicia?_ She couldn't prevent the thought from forming in her mind.

His dark brows furrowed. She didn't want that.

"We'll see about that later", he finally said, sighing. He cupped her cheek with his big hand and brushed a strand of short hair out of her face.

And she understands. She does. Even though it still stings a little.

Because what else can he do? He gains so little, but could lose so much with this. His reputation, his credibility, even his power.

Because she knows nobody would understand.

She would look like the naïve little girl. He would be accused of being a manipulative pedophile, taking advantage of her, his guard.

It's not like that!

He sees the true her. He sees the memories, the broken dreams, the hopes behind the façade of the apathetic little girl taking pleasure in torturing others. He knows how she feels about him.

And she is not a child.

She can't read his thoughts, but she will have to live with that uncertainty. But his actions show that he cares about her. His kisses grow more urgent, but he never takes advantage of her, even though he must know that she is putty in his hands. He must know about the lust taking over her mind whenever he touches her. It's starting to drive her crazy. But he just smiles, making her want to touch him more.

His intentions are honorable, she is sure about that.

She always trusted him. First as a confused newborn. Then as a loyal guard. She trusts him with her very mind. How could she not?

It feels right, trusting him.

The others don't know that though.

So having him smile at her and steal a secret kiss when they are sure nobody can see has to be enough.

Alec moves another of his chess pieces.

She turns her head slightly. Her eyes wander to the other end of the room, where the ancients are sitting on their thrones, discussing the fate of a North European coven.

He smiles at her from across the room.

"Checkmate," Alec informs her in a calm voice, "you lost."

What?

She looks down at the chess board in front of her.

She should have paid attention to the game. Alec's tower and queen don't leave her king any chance to escape. She should have seen that coming. But she was too distracted.

And Aro's words come to her mind.

_Love and power never mix well._

---

_**Aro is a cheating player. But what else can he do? He has a w**__**hite hat to protect, after all.**_

_**Love? Power? Love and Power? You can never be sure with Aro…. **_

_**What do **__**you think? **_


	12. Guard and Lover

_**It's nice to see that other people **__**like Jaro. Because, you have to admit, it IS a possibility! **_

_**You get a**__**n early update (blame spring break). I keep on having too many ideas for this fic and it's getting longer and longer. I hope you don't mind that. ;)**_

---

Jane and the others get ready to fight. Even Alec is with them this time. He stands close to her left side, Felix to her right.

The sky is a dull grey and the dark forest is eerily quiet. Her dark cloak is rippling in the light breeze. The vampires standing defensively on the other end of the clearing watch them expectantly. They certainly look scared, but there is still hope in their crimson eyes. Their eyes are a bright red, almost glowing. Fifteen loose, unskilled newborns facing nine of the most talented Volturi fighters with centuries of experience.

Young fools, they don't seem to realize that their time is up.

"You have broken the rules," she speaks, her voice piercing, "and by doing so you have forfeited your lives."

The tall, bulky man with shaggy brown hair crosses his arms over his chest. He is obviously the leader, standing in the middle of the group of newborns, and his eyes are more of a dark burgundy than a glowing crimson.

"And who are you to tell me that?" he asks, his tone polite, but the hint of menace in his voice is not lost to her.

His newborns stand protectively behind him. They are mostly men, strong and muscular, but already their postures show how raw and unskilled they are. None of them stands the slightest chance against Felix or Santiago, or even her.

"We are the Volturi," she replies, "we are the ones taking care that everyone of our kind obeys the law."

Their leader flinches just so slightly at the mention of the Volturi, but the others obviously don't know what she is talking about.

Well, that's none of her business.

The ones breaking the rules must be punished.

"So my old friend Aro sends you?" he asks, his lips twitching around his name. She knows that the two of them already had an encounter a long time ago, Aro told her. She also knows that he hasn't broken the law for the first time.

"Yes, my master sends me," she answers, "to show you that your games are over."

"And he sends a little girl?" the man laughs. She clenches her fists and keeps her expression apathetic. She doesn't even want to lower herself to have an immature argument with him.

She came to do her job, not to play silly games.

"What? ", he is smiling now, "the Volturi send children too afraid to answer a grown-up man?" His pitiable soldiers behind him start grinning too. Unsure, like he just told a joke and they can't decide if it should be funny or not.

Alec growls.

"I am older than all of your miserable slaves put together," she says, her head raised high, "and Aro knows he can trust me with this mission."

She waits, her eyes on his withered face.

"You look like a cute little girl to me," is his response, "too weak to fight a real fight so you decide to come with your "you broke the law" morals instead. Am I right?" He is provoking her now directly.

Waiting for her to lose her temper.

She squeezes Alec's hand to calm down.

It's not worth it. She isn't a weak little girl. She doesn't need to prove anything to him.

She doesn't need to prove anything to anyone.

She keeps quiet.

But the man with the shaggy hair isn't finished yet. "And you know what? Aro is nothing more than a power-hungry bastard," he smiles maliciously.

His ear-piercing scream echoes from the surrounding forest. He falls down on his knees, pressing his palms to his temples, writhing in agony. He screams again, louder this time. All of the other vampires just stare, an expression of utter horror on their faces.

And now she is smiling.

Nobody gets away with insulting Aro.

Nobody.

She reaches out with her mind, twists again, making him cry and sob like an animal.

Finally she lets go, leaving him weak and gasping on the dirty ground.

"Anyway," still smiling like an angel, she turns her head back towards the army of newborns who suddenly look more like a loose, frightened group, "back to business. Anyone of you wants to surrender?"

No response.

Well then.

"Alec?" she nods in his direction. Her brother's eyes narrow in concentration. And the mist starts creeping. It's almost invisible, even to her keen eyes, but it builds up fast.

It's beautiful to watch, in a tragic way.

They attack as soon as the newborns are deprived of their senses. It's not even a challenge for them. Felix decapitates two helpless newborns within two seconds. Jane herself jumps on the shoulders of another one and tears his head off with her hands. They work quickly and with precision. The sound of it is haunting. Shrill, icy, and sending chills down her spine, even after all this time.

Stone being torn to shreds.

The clearing is filled with it. Crunching sounds and tearing, and not a single scream or moan.

When everyone except the leader is destroyed and piled up neatly, the mist starts disappearing. Alec comes to stand by her side and they look down at the broken man to their feet. He starts moving, digging his fingernails in the soft earth blindly.

One of the guards sets the pile of shreds and pieces, formerly belonging to living beings, on fire.

And the thick purple smoke starts rising up towards the grey sky.

"The Volturi don't give second chances," her expression is grave, solemn almost.

The man with the shaggy hair, now nothing more than a broken, defeated shell lying facedown on the earth, whimpers. And she can see in his eyes that he has finally understood.

There are no second chances in life. And even less in this existence of after-life.

She turns around to leave and lets Felix finish the job.

The acrid smell of smoke intensifies.

"Let us go home," she says.

And her apathetic face lits up.

---

_**This was to show **__**how devoted Jane really is (and to bring in some more symbolic drama). There will be more of Sulpicia, Jaro and "pushing" in the next chapter.**_

_**Reviews make me happy!**_


	13. Emotions and Hormones

_**My**__** iPod is psychic. It kept on playing "Push It" by Garbage while I wrote this. Oh dear. Poor, poor Jane! **_

_**In my mind, Jane has hit puberty at least mentally**__** before she was turned. That's why she can control herself and isn't considered an immortal child. Puberty includes a mental stage that can develop further without limitations. And it includes hormones.**_

---

Jane and the others arrive back at Volterra with the break of dawn. The perfect time for a group of nine dark cloaked figures to walk through the narrow streets without attracting too much unwanted attention.

Most of the humans are asleep, only the small windows of a bakery are illuminated. The smell of fresh, warm bread must be mouthwatering to noses other than theirs.

They sneak past it unnoticed, creatures of the night.

When they enter the old, familiar walls of the Palazzo, a warm, sweet feeling washes over her.

She is home.

Their uniform group dissolves to relaxed individuals.

Most of them excuse themselves to their rooms to go and see their beloved ones.

She goes to the tower room first.

Alec and Demetri come with her to report on their mission. Caius isn't there, but Marcus and Aro are. Aro turns around when he hears them enter.

"Ah, I've missed you!" he exclaims floating over to them, "how was your trip?"

"Everything went well," she informs him, "just like you predicted Aro… um, master." She mentally slaps herself for forgetting the etiquette.

_You are his guard, first and foremost,_ she has to remind herself.

She looks around the room. But nobody seems to have noticed that she slipped up.

Aro smiles. Oh how she missed that smile!

He kisses Alec on the cheeks. Then he takes her hands in his and kisses her lightly on the lips, like he often does when they return from a mission. It's a harmless, innocent gesture to show his affection. But this time she has to remember really hard that they are not alone. Otherwise she would have thrown her arms around his neck and kissed him in a very inappropriate way.

He lets go of her hands and chuckles.

"Well, it is nice to have you back," he smiles at her, "why don't you stay a little and tell me about everything in detail."

"Oh yes, my dear," Sulpicia exclaims, "that would be lovely!" She is here too, sitting by the window, braiding her long, golden hair. When she gets up to walk over to them, her every movement is like dancing.

Marcus and Demetri excuse themselves.

Alec leaves for a bath. Felix started throwing mud at him on their way back home and he definitely needs it. The two of them make her smile sometimes.

There's only her, Aro, Sulpicia and some of the usual guards now.

Sulpicia looks at her expectantly. Aro keeps his eyes on the neutral wall. She doesn't know at whom she should look.

She starts picking on the sleeve of her dusty robe, fidgeting, like a nervous human, she realizes.

She quickly lets go of the fabric.

"They were actually quite brave," she starts telling them about the past days, "most of them hadn't heard about the Volturi though. It was really a shame, in some ways."

She catches Aro staring at her moving lips longer than necessary.

She shoots him a glance and he averts his gaze quickly.

He has missed her too, she can tell.

_Later, _she tells herself and he smiles.

The heavy old door flies open with a loud bang and Caius comes in. And even though he brings his usual cloud of ill-humor with him, she has to admit she is relieved that he is here. One person more to remind her to control herself.

"So, where there many to fight with?" Sulpicia asks her.

"If you would excuse me," Aro smiles, "I need to discuss some things with Caius."

He brushes his fingers against her bare neck casually, as if to read her thoughts, and she shudders.

He pulls away, frowning a little. Her mind must be rather emotional by now. But how is she supposed to not feel like that whenever he touches her?

He smiles his tiny smile.

Sulpicia is waiting for her answer.

Jane swallows.

Aro gives her another look before he joins Caius.

He knows her thoughts. He can't know exactly what she feels, but she's sure that's not too hard to guess.

It's getting light outside and she starts feeling restless, impatient.

She tries her best to be attentive and friendly towards Sulpicia. But it's hard. She tries to focus on their conversation but her mind is elsewhere.

"I don't want to push you," he had said. But how much more can she pull to show him that she doesn't mind?

She suppresses a sigh.

"Just their creator and raw, untrained newborns," she tells Sulpicia, "nothing challenging at all."

The conversation goes on.

She is growing frustrated.

She knows she has no right to be mad at Sulpicia, she's only being polite after all. But the fair-haired vampire just keeps on asking questions, smiling, like they are the best of friends.

Well, they are not, as a matter of fact!

It makes her want to scream in frustration.

And the fact that Aro is still around doesn't help either. He is talking to Caius, but glances over at her from time to time. His dark hair shining in the light of the rising sun, his translucent skin glowing like white snow.

Sulpicia smiles at her, she smiles her sweet, naïve smile.

She smiles too, but it's more of a deceitful grin.

Sulpicia is just so naïve and unknowing!

She must know that he is an amazing kisser. But does she also know that he can barely stop kissing her anymore as soons as she burries her fingers deep in his hair?

The conversation is getting awkward. But maybe that's just her.

She sighs.

He raises his eyebrow at her.

And even that already wants her to run over to him, kiss his full lips, his strong jaw, ….

She's being hormonal and emotional, but she just can't help it!

He gets up and walks over to them. He looks at Sulpicia and puts a hand on Jane's shoulder.

"I'm sure Jane would like to leave for her room now," he says, "she has had a long trip."

Sulpicia nods understandingly. "Of course my dear! You must want some time for yourself, after always being around others for the past days."

_Later, _she tells herself and he smiles.

---

_**Jane + Aro + Sulpicia in one room = awkwardness**_

_**I'm not sure about this chapter…. I've been writing on it for quite a long time, but there was always something that didn't fit or sounded stupid…. (sigh) Well, I hope it's okay to read now.**_

_**Next chapter will be up soon enough. **__**I just have to edit it a little first. (coughcough)**_


	14. Protecting and Risking

_**I **__**actually wanted to update some of my other fics first, but I'm sick and not really in the mood to edit them properly. And this chapter was just lying around so I'll update this, yes? Regular update routine? I guess I'm just too moody to ever have one….**_

_**There are usually some days or weeks in between chapters, but you got that with the change of seasons, right?**_

---

Jane and Alec sit at the Piazza, enjoying the windy, overcast day. It's cold and there are only a few people around.

A group of pigeons searches for bread crumbs on the rough cobbled pavement.

They sit by the clock tower, their backs against the wall, just watching the humans hurrying past them. They get some odd looks, whether it's because of the huge black sunglasses they are wearing to conceal their blood red eyes or just because of their mysterious, slightly unnerving presence in general, she can't tell. It amuses her. They must look like two normal human children in their modern, nondescript clothing, just a little paler and more motionless than it would be natural. But the passersby still give them unconsciously a wider berth.

Luck for them that she isn't thirsty.

She pulls up the zipper of her dark grey jacket. She's not cold, but she knows that any normal human would be.

A group of young boys with their skateboards stand by the fountain. They are around her and Alec's age, a little older maybe, but they already behave like they are something better. It's pathetic, really.

She and Alec give each other a look and she knows he thinks exactly the same.

One of the boys, lanky and with a cap over his dark, curly hair is even daring enough to walk over to them. He tries to be extra "cool" about it, as he would say. His friends watch him. He can hardly turn around now, even if he starts to look a little uneasy. His natural instinct of self preservation kicking in. Little does he know that he is facing his predators, but he can still sense it, unconsciously.

She and Alec smile at each other. They can smell his fear.

"Hey, what's your name, doll?" he nods at her. His voice hasn't even broken.

She just glares at him through her dark tinted sunglasses. Is he being serious?

Alec clenches his fists and she can picture how his eyes narrow behind the sunglasses all too well. And when he speaks, his voice is controlled but frosty. "My sister is not interested in boys, he looks up at the human, "so I'd really appreciate it if you would be so kind as to fuck off."

The boy blinks twice.

She holds back the tiny smile that wants to form on her lips. Alec is just so sweet whenever he tries to be the older brother.

If he only knew.

Better not.

She has the distinct feeling that Alec wouldn't take it well if he knew about her and Aro.

She sighs.

The wretched human boy misunderstands that as an encouragement. "Are you threatening me?" he asks Alec, "because you are at least half a head shorter than me, you know." He crosses his arms over his chest, trying to look grown-up and failing miserably.

"I am," every hint of politeness is now gone from Alec's voice, "but that wouldn't keep me from eating you or any other male who comes too close to my sister for breakfast. Literally."

She can tell that he is being serious. Dead serious.

The human can sense that too. His tanned skin turns a shade paler.

Alec grins wickedly.

She raises an eyebrow. The boy doesn't smell too appetizing, musty, almost. And his friends are still watching them, so it wouldn't be a smart idea to snap his neck just for fun. She shakes her head at her brother.

The human boy is suddenly in a hurry to leave. He throws a last quick, confused glance at them over his shoulder as he walks away.

They get up from the cold stone pavement. It's time for them to go back inside too.

When they pass the reception, Gianna calls after them. "Alec, Jane. Would you mind bringing this to the masters?" She holds out a thin, sealed envelope. They both turn around, looking at the tanned woman behind the tall desk. "I was just thinking, because you were headed upstairs anyway. Only if you have the time, of course," she adds, mistaking Jane's glance at her outstretched hand.

"No, of course it's not a problem," she smiles sweetly at the human, "I'll carry this out for you." With that, she takes the envelope and walks off, trying hard to look not too eager.

Aro is in his study and opens the door with her second knock.

"Jane!" he exclaims enthusiastically, pulling her close and closing the door behind her, "I see Gianna gave you an excuse to come and see me."

She grins sheepishly.

He puts his arm around her slender hips, lifts her up like she doesn't weight more than a feather and sets her down on the wide desk.

"How was your day?" he asks, as curious as ever. She puts her hand in his and his inquiring expression makes her smile.

"Ah, I see," he comments on her thoughts, "Looks like I'm not the only one who noticed that you are lovely." He laughs. "I don't think I would be to Alec's taste though."

Her answering laugh is the sound of wind chimes. "Oh, he wouldn't dare," she says, still laughing, "he is too loyal to you to even consider doing such a horrible thing."

"Are you sure?" his voice is low, "because even though he is a loyal guard, he feels more bound to you than to anyone else. So if I ever were to hurt you…."

"You wouldn't," she interrupts him.

"But is he as sure about this as you are?" his brows furrow just so slightly, "you know, I'm not exactly known for keeping the ones I love safe."

_I trust you, _she doesn't need to speak the thought out aloud, he can still hear her. He smiles.

"But I don't think your brother would approve of this." He kisses her lower lip gently.

"Just an innocent peck on the lips?" she complains, "quite frankly, Alec wouldn't even be bothered by this, let alone consider hurting you."

"Sure?" the cold tip of his tongue against hers makes her gasp, "we'll talk about that again when he has ripped my head off."

"We'll just be careful so it will never even come to that," she murmurs, her mind racing.

He nods, still smiling against her lips.

She wraps her arms tightly around his neck, deepening the kiss. He doesn't pull away, instead he seems just as eager as her. His arms are locked around her waist, his lips move faster than she can keep up.

But then he turns his head towards the door. "Time's up," he sighs.

She can hear the heavy footsteps coming closer outside in the hallway too. Felix, she assumes.

And then he kisses her again one last time with all his electric, energetic enthusiasm, only to pull away just in time before Felix comes in.

---

_**Was that too lime-y? o.O I usually don't write romance and I really don't want to creep you out. But**__**... Jane is hormonal, emotional Jane. ;)**_

_**Yes, I know someone always **__**keeps on interrupting the Jaro time. But that's hardly surprising when you try to keep something a secret in a place with dozens of other vampires with supernatural hearing around. Keeping a secret under these circumstances is a challenge!**_

_**And I'm a bit confused about Gianna: Didn't the Volturi kill her during the events of Breaking Dawn? But I just can't find a source that would prove it…. Anyway, in this fic she is still around. Just because I don't want to make up a new receptionist.**_


	15. Embarrassment and Nonchalance

_**The title says it all.**__** Embarrassment (Jane) and Nonchalance (Aro) all around.**_

_**This update took me so long partially because I was writing on another chapter/one-shot fitting in with the story (I call it "the most awkward chapter of awkward chapters in the awkward history of awkward chapters" in my mind)**__**. It was extremely fun to write and turned out quite well, I think, but I decided to not upload it because it would most likely creep you out. ;P Another reason for not updating for a week was that I couldn't decide if I should dare to.**_

_**Now, don't be scared. It's nothing too bad, but still, better a warning too much than one too less, right? I really needed to write this, I think it's essential for understanding the pairing better, even though it's kind of awkward. (But how could Jaro not be awkward?) And you know my writing style, I usually like to write rather descriptive, though not graphic (so definitely no lemons, that would be plain creepy! o.O). But Jane is mentally an ADULT. And this fic is rated T. So: lime alert, I guess. ;)**_

_**Yeah, yo**__**u heard me. LIME.**_

---

Jane keeps her eyes closed. She lies across his white, cold chest, soft, raven black hair fanned out on the white sheets, all over her. Her lungs are filled with the smell of summer.

He traces invisible patterns on her bare back.

She smiles against his skin.

"Tired?" he chuckles, his mood is excellent. Contagious.

"Happy," her words are muffled against his marble chest and he can't see the huge grin appearing on her face.

She is happy. Smiling and happy and feeling very light.

She listens to his deep, constant breathes and her own lighter ones. Their breaths fill the silent room. And the rough winter wind is blowing outside. Howling around the thick walls. Tearing on everything loose enough. She doesn't care.

She lies more peaceful than ever before.

His bare skin against hers, it feels nice. Still warm, somehow.

Him lying here with her in her narrow bed, it feels so unreal. Surreal, almost.

She knows she should feel sorry. A little guilty, at least.

But she doesn't. Not at the moment.

His skin against hers is all she can think of right now.

She doesn't know how much Marcus knows. Or what he told Sulpicia. Does it really matter? He's here with her.

The wind blows against her window. She likes the sound of it.

Aro stays quiet. Looking peaceful, almost like her. Just breathing and smiling and letting his hands wander over her back idly.

He looks beautiful. Like a fallen angel.

He is hers. At least for some fleeting moments.

She tries to enjoy the moment while it lasts.

And she lets her thoughts wander.

Of course, she has been told about these things. Alec and her used to roll their eyes when they were on their nightly rounds around the castle, having too good hearing to completely ignore everything going on. They used to poke fun at Heidi and Demetri sharing secret looks with each other, like it wasn't completely obvious. She had seen and heard enough to know about the basics.

But knowing about something and actually getting to experience it first-hand are two entirely different things.

She smiles.

It's not all sunshine though. It never is for her.

She thinks about what would happen if someone found out about this. If anyone ever found out. She bites her lower lip.

She knows that they both could get into enormous trouble for this.

They would call her his concubine. Or worse.

Concubine. She doesn't like the sound the title has.

She isn't his concubine. She doesn't want to think of herself as that. She isn't a dirty, power-hungry slut sleeping with him to get more influence. It's not like that. She isn't just some toy for him to play with either. He is more honorable than that. She has to be more. He told her he loves her.

That has to be enough.

But did he compare her to Sulpicia?

The mere thought makes her cringe and feel very uncomfortable.

_I am not really pretty,_ she thinks to herself, _not as pretty as her._

His fingers on her back stop moving.

Of course you are pretty!" he disagrees, tilting her chin up with his finger to make her look him in the eyes. His right eyebrow is slightly raised, like always when he strongly disapproves of something.

She feels embarrassed.

"I know I tend to rather see people's minds than their appearance," he continues, "but you are definitely beautiful to me. And-" he doesn't let her hide her face, "nothing you are going to say or think can convince me otherwise." He grins crookedly at her.

"And there is nothing to feel embarrassed about," he adds nonchalantly. She buries her face deep in his soft hair and feels even more embarrassed.

"Please don't be." He kisses the top of her head.

But she can't help feeling self-conscious. After all, he knew everything she was thinking…. She groans.

"No I don't," he smiles, his nose still buried in her short, tousled hair, "I was distracted."

Distracted. She knows she was. Her emotions took her mind over, she couldn't help it. Blurring every clear thought, tuning out all anxiousness. All she could think of was Aro, Aro, _Aro_. She must have been one big mess of emotions. Emotions are hard for him to read, but it's still uncomfortable for her to know that he can read her mind anytime he touches her. Which happens to be quite often lately.

"I was distracted. But I'm filling the gaps now," he adds casually, running his long fingers down her spine.

Though it is not a possibility for her bloodless body, she can almost feel her cheeks turning a deep, burning crimson.

Why? Why does he have to be a mind reader, of all things? She has to admit is has its good sides. But that doesn't change the fact that it is really embarrassing for her.

Being hormonal and insecure is one thing she could deal with. But having him know…. It's just so humiliating!

She sits up, wrapping the white sheets around her chest awkwardly, or what is there of it, anyway.

"Jane," he sighs, looking her in the eyes earnestly, "you'll have to stop doing that. Because there really is no need to be insecure."

He grabs her wrists and pulls her closer.

"I love you, Jane," he tells her, "so please stop worrying."

He kisses her and his hands wander up her arms.

Taking over her mind.

She opens her mouth hungrily. Buries her fingers in his hair and presses her body closer to his.

And the sheet is soon forgotten.

---

_**Awkward**__**? Creepy? Poor Sulpicia? Oh well…. **_

_**And, I can never say it enough, Aro is NOT a pedophile!**__** I could give you a long speech on why not, but I'm sure I've already given enough reasons in my chapters.**_

_**If that was too cheesy or cliché, I'd really appreciate if you would flame me please. I try to avoid writing clichés **__**whenever possible. If it was just "awkward", I take it as a compliment. ;)**_


	16. White and Grey

_**Me: "Now, let's update the next chapter**__** to celebrate that nobody actually flamed me for writing the last one, shall we? Lemme see… where is it?" (searches computer) . "DAMN! Where is chapter 16?!" (freaks) … "NO! It. Can't. Be. GONE." (freaks some more and then has a sudden realization) … "Oh, it's on my memory stick. Like it always is." (facepalm)**_

---

Jane and her brother walk hand in hand.

The ground is covered with white.

White, soft snow that isn't really cold to her skin and doesn't melt on her lank, pale brown hair, it's more like sugary fluff.

It makes soft crunching sounds under their light feet.

Snow is so rare here in Volterra, therefore Alec and her enjoy it all the more.

Caius even allowed them to leave the restricting walls of the castle for once to go for a walk outside the city. It's not like it's dangerous for them. Afton would know about hostile vampires around well in advance. And there isn't much for them to do as guards these days anyway. Just sitting around and waiting for someone to make trouble. Waiting for some new tragedy to happen.

Getting out is a nice change to that. She likes these quiet moments with her brother. They just walk at a human pace, their hands linked together, both deep in their own thoughts.

It reminds her of their childhood.

Dim memories, fading with every single year of eternity.

There isn't much she wants to remember anyway. Alec and her, running around in the summery meadows laughing and light-hearted, that's all she wants to keep in her undead stone heart.

She feels like her childhood is long gone. It was lost the day they were taken to the stake, or maybe even before that.

She wonders if Alec feels the same.

She toys with the idea of asking him.

There are no humans around, it's just her, Alec and the white, calm landscape. The soft hills she always loved since she can remember. The few trees that are scattered here and there. Aro told her that there were more of them when he was human, but they were already gone when she was born.

_Time is a__ strange thing,_ she thinks.

But does it really matter? What's gone is gone, she tries to live in the here and now.

Alec suddenly tackles her at vampire speed and they both land in the soft white snow.

She gasps for air and Alec laughs. "Gotcha," he says, "you're such a hopeless dreamer sometimes."

The both lie in the snow, and their slight bodies leave angel-shaped dents in the white.

Alec pulls on her scarf.

"What are you thinking about?" he demands. Tiny snow cristals are caught in his long lashes.

"Sulpicia," is her quiet answer.

Alec keeps on looking at her, his head turned towards her, his cheek in the soft snow. "You don't really like her, do you?" It's a statement not a question.

She sighs.

"Sometimes I could just…" she makes a gesture with her hands, trying to illustrate what she means.

"Strangle her?" Alec tries to help out, chuckling lightly, "I noticed."

Is it really that obvious?

It's not that she hates Sulpicia. It's just… difficult. She can't help the feeling of guilt and jealousy twisting her stomach a little every time she sees her. She knows Aro loves her more than his unknowing, sweet wife. But he can hardly tell her that he was so foolish to fall in love with the little girl on his guard and just dump her, she is aware of that. That knowledge keeps the jealousy within a limit. But it makes the guilty even worse.

Difficult doesn't even cover it.

But she's not feeling too bad either. She has Aro. And his kisses, the way he can get excited and talk about a book for hours, his smiles make up for the times she has to pretend to be just his guard.

She takes a handful of soft snow and lets it run through her fingers.

She likes the color white. Something she never was and never will be.

They passed Sulpicia in the hallway when they left to go for their walk outside the wintery city.

"Good evening, mistress," both of them greeted her politely.

She smiled at Sulpicia and tried her best to be as friendly as possible. "How was your day?" she asked, getting a curious look from her brother. She did realize that she was being extraordinary friendly, almost suspiciously so.

Sulpicia didn't notice.

"Nothing special," she smiled, "Aro spent his day reading in his study or something like that, so I was sitting in the tower with Athenodora, talking, as usual. What about you? How did you spend your day, my dear?"

"Just reading," was her quick, nondescript answer, "nothing special."

_You__'re such a bad liar, Jane,_ she chided herself mentally.

"Oh, that's lovely!" Sulpicia exclaimed," you read so much. Myself, I don't find any good books these days. You have to recommend me some of yours one day."

"Sure," she had said. And felt very fake.

She doesn't like that.

She can hear someone getting closer at a quick human pace. But the steps on the fresh snow are too light and rythmical for a human.

She recognizes the sweet, summery smell before Alec does.

"Master Aro!" her brother exclaims, "what are you doing out here?"

She sits up and sees him walking towards them. He hasn't his usual robe on, to avoid atracting too much unwanted attention, she guesses. Instead, he wears simple black jeans and a dark grey woolen sweater, looking extraordinary human and unearthly at the same time.

She smiles at him.

"Well, Caius is growing impatient," he says, "you've been out here for quite some time and we figured someone should go and get you."

The snow flakes falling lightly look like white cristals in his black hair.

He stretches his hand out for her to take it and get up. He smiles his wide smile as she reluctantly lets go of his fingers.

They run back to Volterra in silence.

Aro walks with her to her room and stops just before her door. The hallway is deserted and there is nobody around who could hear them. He takes her face in his hands.

"Jane," he says, slightly parting her full lips with his thumb, "I'm the one here who should feel guilty. Not you."

She knows she didn't do anything to be ashamed of.

He wraps his arms around her and buries his face in her wet hair. She rests her head against his chest and inhales deeply. The smell of snow and wool and citrus honey is lovely.

Falling in love is not a sin.

She puts her small hand to his cold cheek and his burning lips find hers.

But maybe taking another woman's man and enjoying it is.

---

_**I kept on listening to "Spoken Word" and "This Time Imperfect" by AFI while writing this. And it made me all emo and maybe that killed the mood a bit…. Or intensified it, you decide.**_

_**Oh, and I gave Afton his own talent. I like the idea of him being a danger radar**__** or something like that. Because that would be a useful enough talent to be a respected guard.**_


	17. Sound and Scent

_**I **__**set up a "Volturi fanfic contest". If you are interested in reading more about it I advise you check it out on my profile. It would be awesome if some people would participate. :)**_

_**I usually try to avoid stereotypes. But "showing up the most inconvenient of times" Alec is just so amusing and cute. And way too naïve for his own good. ;)**_

---

Jane keeps her eyes on the dark ceiling, enjoying the feeling of his cold tongue on her skin. It makes her shudder and ache for more. She takes in loud, shallow breaths, not because she would need to breathe, but because she can't help it.

He pulls his lips away from her stomach to press them to her red mouth. His breathing is just as hitched as hers.

"Shhh," he whispers, "we don't wan them to hear us, do we?"

She doesn't want to be quiet. She wants to tell him how much she loves him. She wants to voice what she feels, not caring about anyone else. But he's right, the thick stone walls are permeable to vampire ears.

So she nibbles on his earlobe instead, quietly moaning in his ear, getting a fervent growl in return.

_Who is being loud now? _she thinks, her thoughts, clouded with lust, a little smug.

He kisses her harder.

But then he is very quiet and still all of a sudden.

And now she hears it too.

Footsteps in the hall outside her room. They come closer.

She sits up abruptly, almost bumping her head on his very ungracefully by doing so. She starts to panic.

The person outside in the corridor is definitely headed towards her room. It's the only room in use in this wing. She almost curses aloud, using very vulgar words, but she is smart enough to bite her tongue.

She doesn't even dare to breathe.

The door handle is being pressed down.

Again.

"Jane, why do you have your door locked?" Alec asks from the other side of the door. Thank God, at least the door is locked! She doesn't even want to think about what if Aro hadn't thought of that.

"Jane?" Alec sounds worried now, "everything okay?"

She shoots Aro a panicked look. He looks slightly uncomfortable and annoyed, but not alarmed. The door is locked, after all. She wishes she could stay as calm as him. He nods in the direction of her bathroom.

What? She doesn't get what he is trying to tell her.

He nods again, trying to hint at something without having to speak, because then Alec would hear.

"… Um, just a minute," she yells, hoping she doesn't sound too panicked, "actually, I was on my way to… taking a shower just now!" That's it. She breathes a sigh of relief. Aro smiles at her.

"Just open the door," Alec demands, "I can wait in your room in the meantime."

"Um, Alec, I'm naked," her voice is higher than usual, squeaky, almost, "just wait a minute, will you? I'll hurry up." With that, she jumps out of the bed, runs to the bathroom at vampire speed and turns on the water. Aro quietly starts picking up all their clothes.

She steps into the shower, letting the cold water run down her tense body. She even washes her tousled hair with a generous amount of the strong, artificial strawberry scented shampoo.

She sniffs at her hands. They still smell faintly like summer, but only if you know it.

Satisfied, she quickly turns off the water, wraps a big, blue towel around her body and runs back to her room.

Aro has already disappeared. She closes the window, trying to make no noise with doing so. Her clothes are all laid out neatly on the bed, she decides to play safe and puts them at the very bottom of the laundry basket. Then she changes into a fresh pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt.

When she opens the door for her brother half a minute later, she smiles at him, rubbing her short hair dry with the towel over her small shoulders.

"Sorry I've kept you waiting", she says, "but I was already with one foot in the shower."

"No problem," Alec replies. He comes in and sits down on the freshly made bed. He looks around the room. "I was just thinking maybe I could borrow one of your books or we could talk or something," he explains, "you know, I'm a little bored alone at night with nothing to do."

"Sure," she nods, pierced with guilt for lying to him, "I was bored too."

Lying is one thing. Lying to your brother, the only person you really trusted and loved for centuries, is another.

She rubs her hair again and goes back to the bathroom to get the hairbrush. Her short hair is tousled and knotted and she yanks the brush through it with more force than would actually be needed.

"So what are you up to?" Alec asks, looking up at her standing there in the middle of the room.

They have spent so little time together in the past months. It's not like when they just sat next to each other in silence for hours, holding hands, no need to speak because there were no secrets. No, it's not like that anymore. This realization always makes a bittersweet feeling rise in her chest and almost loosen her tongue. But she doesn't give away anything, like always.

Instead, she walks over to her old bookshelf and puts the books lying around back in order. "I don't know," she says, her back turned towards her brother, "I was just sitting around. You want to do something?" She turns around to look at him.

He has stretched out on her bed, his arms under his head, making himself comfortable. But then he turns his head and presses his nose to the sheets, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"I lit a scented candle I got," she explains quickly before he can ask uncomfortable questions. "Lemon-lavender. The sheets might still smell a little like it."

He seems to believe that.

Of course he does. Because he trusts her.

She sighs and puts the towel in the laundry basket as well. She used to be rather messy, but now she can't risk that anymore. Vampires just hear and smell too well. And she really doesn't want to have to explain to her brother why she smells like lemon and summer and sun.

After she has put the brush back to the bathroom, she goes to sit next to Alec on the bed. "Do you want to go walk around the castle a little?" she asks him.

His face lits up. "Sounds like fun."

She grabs his hand and gets up.

As they walk out of the door, Alec stops her. "Could you do me a favor?" he asks her, wrinkling his nose, "could you please throw away that awful strawberry shampoo? Because to be honest: you reek." He looks at her apologetically. "That strawberry stuff is so artificial that I can't even smell your natural scent anymore. Why do you even use it?"

She doesn't answer.

---

_**I love scented candles**__**. And the lemon-lavender one is one of my favorite scented candles ever, sun-kissed linen stands no chance against it. ;) And yes, the actually sell "sun-kissed linen". **_


	18. Cheating and Trusting

_**I've already written over 20,000 words for this fic? o.O**___

_**This chapter **__**is set a couple of days after the last one. Warning: angst ahead.**_

---

Jane has enwound her fingers loosely with her brother's. They sit on the dark green cushioned window seat at the end of the corridor on the second floor. She looks out into the night through the stained glass. Her eyes see just as well as they would in daylight, she can see an animal moving in the bushes just outside the city walls. A stray dog or a cat, most likely. The darkness is almost eerily quiet.

Almost.

Calmer than she feels, anyway.

Her brows furrow.

Alec squeezes her cold hand lightly. "What bothers you?" he asks her.

_A lot of things._

"Nothing in particular," she says, watching the city walls carefully, "just… things."

"Things?" Alec knows her well enough to not interrogate her, he knows that she will start ranting about what bothers her sooner or later. It's her temper, she can't do anything about it.

She wipes some dust from the rim of the window with her finger.

"Things like us being almost the only ones outside their rooms at this time of night besides the guards on patrol and the ones without a mate," she grimaces.

"Yes, it's not exactly a thing I like to hear either," Alec says, "I mean we both know perfectly well what they are doing, but having to hear it is not very pleasant." He catches a spider that is too slow to escape his hand. He holds it in his palm, watching the frightened thing.

He is so wrong and right at the same time.

For her it's not really about disgust and not understanding what the pleasure in sex would be. No, she can definitely see why everyone who has someone prefers to stay in their rooms. But there's no way that she would go up to the top floors.

She'd rather not hear _them_.

She doesn't even want to think about it, although that's exactly what she is doing at the moment.

Alec still balances the spider on his hand, not hurting it, but certainly scaring it, like a cat does with a mouse. How ironic that even spiders and worms are afraid of vampires. She snatches the long-legged creature from her brother's hand and crushes it between her fingers. There is a small crunching sound and a bit of dark liquid.

Sulpicia is his wife after all, so why does she even give this so much thought?

It's just about sex. Nothing else.

He would not risk his reputation on power for the beautiful blonde. He loves her, not Sulpicia. And how much fun can sex even be with a shallow, predictable, unemotional woman?

A woman who doesn't even notice that her husband is suddenly very busy most nights with reading and keeping the histories. Well, every time he can be sure that it won't be too suspicious, anyway. Which is not nearly as often as she wishes it would be.

"I'm sorry Jane," Aro had murmured, "I know this a rather bad situation for you. I wish there was another way."

But there isn't, not at the moment.

"It's okay," she had replied, "I understand. Please don't worry about it."

She knows there is no real reason to be jealous.

He is only still with his wife so he can be with her without attracting attention.

"I just want you to know that I love you," he had said, "you are not my concubine, you are my lover." And there had been a sad expression on his ever cheerful face.

She squeezes Alec's hand.

She tries her best to tune out all the muffled sounds and noises, just in case. But she can still hear someone walking towards them. She lifts her head.

Corin and Matteo, the two guards on patrol.

They walk over to them.

Matteo is a rather short, unremarkable vampire. His cloak is light gray, but he is extraordinary quick and smart in fights, not to mention discreet and loyal, so the masters decided to keep him. He is always a little nervous around her, fears her burning glares.

Corin is new to the guard and still working on his talent, Alec trains with him often. The wiry, red haired vampire can be very loud and witty when he wants to, Caius had to discipline him more than once. But that didn't wipe the cheeky grin off his face and the jokes he and Felix throw at each other are as suggestive as ever. He certainly respects her, but oddly enough, he doesn't seem to be afraid of her. He just shrugs pain off. He is a good person, she supposes.

Corin shares a few words with Alec, the two of them get along well.

She looks at her feet, hanging in the air, not quite reaching the floor.

Maybe she is just imagining things, noises. Because she has the sound of his passionate growls and pleasured moans in her mind all too clearly.

When she and Alec were children, she used to be the quicker, more possessive one most of the time. She had shared everything with Alec, of course, because they were more like one than two anyway. But not with anyone else.

She doesn't like to share.

"What's up Jane?" Corin asks her, the faint British accent still audible in his otherwise flawless Italian, "you look like there is going to be steam coming out your ears very soon."

She doesn't answer.

"Too many night-time activities," Alec grimaces, "we've learned to ignore it over the centuries, but it's still a little annoying."

She starts to say something, but stops herself. It really isn't all that upsetting.

"It's nothing," she says.

She's not some silly girl who dreams of her lover laying the world at her feet.

She knows that's not how it works.

Aro loves her and he shows her whenever he can. He is there for her when she is upset about something and he calms her down. He cups her cheek with his hand and listens to her. He kisses her, touches her, makes her breathing hitch and is never afraid of her.

He just can't do any of these in public.

Corin eyes her questioningly but decides to let go of the topic. She is thankful for that.

This way the damage is kept as low as possible. Because otherwise nobody would even listen to them before the accusations start. So he keeping up the pretense, the façade is best for everyone involved.

She trusts him.

But that doesn't mean she has to like it.

---

_**Sadly, Aro is perfectly capable of cheating. But he kind of hasn't any other options.**__** Because any other scenario would go something like this:**_

_**Sulpicia: "Why are you not touching me anymore all of a sudden?"**_

_**Aro: "Because I'm in love with Jane and she's much better at the sex thing than you."**_

_**-all hell breaks loose-**_

_**Nope, Aro is not that stupid. He tries to keep a secret as long as possible. He can distinguish between "sex" and "love", I guess… o.O At least he was honest enough to tell Jane.**_

_**Oh, one thing**__**: Lemon/Lime. According to my poll, there seem to be very different opinions on that. Which, I must say, amuses me a little. ;P So if I go overboard with the limes, just tell me, okay?**_


	19. Caught and Teased

_**Keeping a secret like, hmmm… lets say a forbidden romance, is almost impossible with other vampires all around… Alec is naïve, but what about Felix?**_

_**Felix stands for my inner silliness**__** that wants to push all that angst away a little.**_

---

Jane is late and sneaks in the tower room just before the tourists arrive. Aro is already there. She goes to stand next to her brother, quickly running a hand through her short hair, wearing her best angelic expression on her cherubic face.

"Where were you?" Alec whispers, "you almost missed all the fun."

Felix snickers.

She rolls her eyes at him.

She can hear Heidi just outside the door now, the clicking of her heels on the stone floor, her explanations, sweet like honey. She can also hear the heavy, ungraceful footsteps and raw, chattering voices of more than four dozens humans. Her mouth is watering.

Demetri opens the door.

And then the screaming starts, before the humans even can fully understand what is going on. Jane, a grin on her face, appears right in front of a tall young women with strawberry blonde hair and freckles.

She sinks her teeth into the woman's soft neck, listening to the tiny sound of the skin breaking. She smothers the woman's surprised cry with her small hand and chuckles quietly at the human's weak attempts to escape her grasp. She is not feeling especially sadistic today, really, she is almost mellow, but the frail arm breaking under her superhuman strength at some point is just an inevitable consequence.

She snaps the blonde's neck then and drains the last drops of blood from the lifeless body. She is finished quickly with her meal, but that's only the case when she decides to be merciful. So today, she takes the time to watch the others feed.

Alec always uses the same tactic. Grab the human, hold it, drain it. Felix and Heidi like to play with their prey. Athenodora and Sulpicia are most likely afraid of staining their clothes, they kill the human always first so they can drink undisturbed. Her eyes wander further around the room until they find Aro. He is probably the most fascinating to watch. He usually even asks for permission politely before he snaps his human's neck, not that that would save them or anything. He kills with a smile on his face and more gracefully than anyone else. She has her eyes on his lips, sucking the blood from his victim's veins, patiently, not gulping like most of the guards do.

"Patience is a virtue, Jane," he had once said.

She smiles to herself.

Felix is finished with his meal as well and, dropping the bloodless body carelessly, gets up and walks over to where she sits on the floor.

"Staring is considered rude, Jane," he nudges her shoulder playfully.

She looks up at him. "Making inappropriate comments is just as rude," she raises her eyebrow at him.

Felix chuckles.

"Any specific reasons why you decided to suck the life out of a blonde?" he asks her, still grinning.

She still hasn't really gotten used to his comments.

"No, no specific reason," she says, "she was just in the way, I suppose."

Felix throws his head back, erupting into his booming laugh. They get a few curious glances, but most of the others are still preoccupied with feeding and don't pay much attention to their conversation.

_Of course. _She sighs inwardly. Count on Felix to twist her words.

"You know that the only reason why I haven't burned you yet is the fact that it would attract unwanted attention, right?" She glares at him.

"I know," he composes himself again, "but it is still fun to tease you. I've found your weak spot and now I'm going to take advantage of that shamelessly."

Her eyes narrow.

"Kidding," he adds quickly.

Felix can be annoying at times. But she knows he is a loyal friend and can be serious as soon as he needs to.

He found out about her and Aro.

And surprisingly enough, he doesn't judge them.

They had been in Aro's study, a very dangerous place to meet, she has to admit.

He didn't exactly walk in on them, but when they heard his heavy footsteps outside in the hallway stop all of a sudden they knew he must have heard more than was good for them.

"Felix, I know it's you out there," Aro called after him, thinking quickly, "would you mind coming in here for a moment?"

She had just had time to get to her feet before Felix entered the room hesitantly. His expression, one of shock and disbelief as his eyes took in the two of them standing by Aro's desk, made it perfectly clear just how much he had heard.

She looked up at Aro, who was pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers in an attempt to concentrate.

Felix, who is practically fearless and not squeamish at all, had difficulties forming words. "I'm… um… terribly sorry, master," he stuttered.

She straightened out her cloak. Ran her fingers quickly through her tousled hair and was about to walk out of the study, her head bowed so she didn't have to look Felix in the eyes. But Aro grabbed her by the arm and gently pulled her back to his side. "Please stay," he pleaded her, putting his arm around her slender waist, "no need to run away."

"Alec and Sulpicia don't know about this, I suppose?" Felix looked back and forth between them.

"No," they answered in unison and she buried her face in his robe. "It would be quite impossible to make them understand," Aro added.

Silence followed, until Felix spoke at last.

"Sure it is… _unconventional_," he hesitated, "but hey, the two of you have always had at least some kind of liking for each other since I can remember, so I guess I'm not that surprised after all."

She blinked at the bulky vampire. "So you don't think this is wrong?"

"Please don't look at me like that, Jane," he said, "I'm not going to lie and say that this didn't have me in shock and slightly creeped out for a moment. But it doesn't make me think less of you. If you are in love, it must be a good thing."

She raised an eyebrow at Felix. "I'm pretty sure that the others won't think so," she said and to her own astonishment, her voice sounded sad.

"You can trust me," Felix promised, "_my_ lips are sealed." He turned his head and grinned at them. She groaned inwardly, Aro pretended he didn't see it.

That's how the jokes started.

Felix is still chuckling.

She sighs.

Alec, who has finished drinking, comes to stand next to Felix and her and looks back and forth between them questioningly. "Did I miss an inside joke?" he asks.

---

_**So Felix found out… what will happen next? (I sound like the announcer for a bad soap opera ;P)**_

_**I feel like my English is bad today. I'll edit as soon as myfamilystopswalkingintomyroomeverytenminutes. -.-**_

_**Reviews make me happy! :)**_


	20. Control and Distraction

_**I actually wanted to rewrite parts of the last chapter, but it didn't really work. So I'll just leave it.**_

_**Jane and Aro deserve some**__** happiness in between angsting. Because the moments of happiness make the angst even worse. (Am I evil?)**_

---

Jane sits on her bed, her head resting against Aro's chest.

He can't stay for long, there are things to discuss for the ancients. The usual things, rebellious covens and newborns on the loose. He can hardly ever stay for long. And on sunny days like this everyone is in and the chance that they might get caught is even bigger.

She snuggles closer to him.

They both whisper, to be sure that nobody can hear their conversation outside in the hallway.

"What are you thinking?" she begs, caressing his white cheek with her small, porcelain hand, "I want to know what is on your mind right now."

He knows all her thoughts. She wants to know his too.

"It's funny," he says, "there I have been thinking of you for centuries as my favorite pet, the most precious jewel in my collection. I thought you were fascinating, I thought maybe, one day, I would decipher your unique mind and then I would finally fully understand you. But you have never been mine completely."

_I am yours._

"… or maybe it's the other way around," he muses, "Maybe I am the one who is putty in your hands."

_Not often enough. _He is so controlled most of the time.

He brushes his lips against hers. "And here I am," he whispers, "trying to make you mine, every fiber of your body, mind and soul. I am greedy, am I not?"

_No__, not really. My mind and soul is already yours, and I'm giving you my body happily._ She smiles and his face lits up too.

"Jane," he takes her face in his hands, "I love you. I love you and I am here with you."

She still doesn't understand though. _Why?_

"Is it really that hard to understand?" his voice is low.

"Well… yes," she murmurs against his lips.

He is too rational for this. He had always thought everything through perfectly, and there had been no place for emotions in his plans.

Because emotions were weaknesses, not predictable and potentially dangerous. Emotions could get easily in the way of power and bring a man down, just like it had happened to Marcus.

He is not a fool. He knows that every display of emotion could be used against him later.

So why had he done the most foolish thing imaginable? Why, of all things, had he fallen in love with her, his guard?

"I didn't exactly plan to, you know?" he sighs.

_But you are here with me._

"Because I love you," he smiles, "because I'm obsessed with your smile, your mind, your emotions, your collarbones, lots of things. Because it is impossible for me not to."

_Yo__u know you're being ridiculous?_

He doesn't respond, just tightens his grip around her waist and keeps his face buried in her hair. And she starts to worry that her thoughts might have been a little harsh. She looks up at him tentatively. But no, he smiles.

"So you want to tell me you think it's ridiculous of me to love you?" he says.

_You know that's not how I mean it._

He is still smiling. And sometimes she wishes nothing more than for this controlled, rational smile to just disappear. She wants him to laugh and talk and sweep her up in his arms without thinking, the way he only does when they are alone and he doesn't have to fear that someone could hear them.

"I need to, Jane," he whispers.

Of course she knows that. But that's exactly why she thinks it's ridiculous of him to love her, be with her. He risks so much, breaks his own rules, …

"I know," he sighs. She lifts her head, looking at his face. Taking in his strong, classical features, the pointed chin and nose, the delicate eyebrows. And for a moment she can see what he must have looked like as a boy. Just a simple man without power and the burden that comes with it. His lips soft, his skin not as pale as it is now, his eyes a freckled green and sparking with enthusiasm and naivety.

"I was such a naïve boy," he says, playing with a strand of her short hair absentmindedly.

"It's hard to imagine," she murmurs. He still can be naïve and juvenile. But never trusting unless he is with her. Sometimes she has the privilege to see the true him. Just him. And then she understands how he brought it that far.

She kisses his palm.

For a while, neither of them says anything.

"So you think I'm being ridiculous." It's a statement, not a question.

_I have just learned to be realistic. That's what __I have learned during the past centuries._

She looks up at him. "And for you there is noting to gain with me except a very hard fall from grace." She says it because it is true.

"A fall from grace in return for this." He traces her cheekbones with his long fingers and might be only talking to himself now.

But the true smile still plays around his lips, only that it has turned darker, grimmer.

They stay like that. Holding each other close, not saying anything, breathing in each other's scent.

Until Aro gently removes her arms from around his chest and gets up. "I suppose I'll have to leave now," he says.

She doesn't like that. There needs to be a way to make him stay just a little longer.

She gets up too and then surprises him by straddling him, wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her small body to his as close as possible. It's a good thing he is not so easy to break and she weights about as much as a feather to him. She nuzzles her face in the crook of his neck, making herself comfortable. The fabric of her cloak has moved up to her thighs and she only wears a pair of tiny shorts and a washed-out T-shirt under it, today is an extraordinary hot spring day and she was in summer mood when she picked out her clothes. The rough fabric of his robe is scratchy against her naked legs.

Aro chuckles and wraps his arms around her waist, brushing his lips against her hair.

"Do you plan on clinging to me so I have to take you with me?" he teases her. But he holds her just as tightly as she holds him.

"Yes," she whispers enthusiastically, "we can pretend that we are glued together and then nobody can say anything against it."

He laughs. "If I were Felix I would make a suggestive joke now."

_Go ahead__. _She kisses his throat.

"Such an innocent, angelic face," he grins, "such a dirty mind."

_As if you we__re any better._

"True." He lifts her face up to bring her lips to his. His lips around hers, his warm, sweet breath in her mouth, his sharp teeth against the tip of her tongue. His kiss is possessive, but so is hers.

He pulls away, a smirk on his face. "Will you let me leave now?" he asks, "or do I have to call Felix in here to peel you off me?"

"I'm not that easy to shake off." She is way too comfortable right now to just let him go.

He shakes his head, smiling. And lets his fingers dance over her skinny, creamy legs, slowly moving them up to the sensitive skin on the inner side of her thigh. She shifts her body slightly.

And his lips are already pressed to hers again, passionate and all too eager.

She has him twisted around her little finger.

_So you are going to stay just a littl__e longer? _Her thoughts are happy, enthusiastic.

He only nods, too busy with her lips and clothes to speak.

---

_**Jane has Aro twisted around her little finger just as much as he has her.**_

_**Some further character development for Aro**__** (at least the things Jane sees). Emotions are his weakness. While he can read facts, I don't think he can really read emotions, they stay a mystery to him. And with his ever curious personality, mysteries fascinate him and that can make him downright obsessed with them. And who happens to be one big mess of emotions? Yes, that's right: Jane. **_

_**See the destructive potential of**__** the pairing? o.O**_


	21. Stupid and Unprepared

_**100 REVIEWS**__**?! :D But don't stop there! ;P I always like to hear what you think, not to mention that reading reviews at the school library gives me an excuse to not do the work I am supposed to do (and write faster).**_

---

Jane is about the leave the throne room, besides Caius standing by the window, facing the sinking sun, there is nobody in here. Most of the guards have something to do, the wives are in the tower and Aro went to his study. She is actually looking for Alec. She can't see Caius' face, but his pale hair, illuminated by the reddish light, is shaggy and he must be brooding about something. She'd rather not disturb him.

The room is filled with dim shadows and rays of weak evening light. And the eerie silence is honestly a little unsettling. She knows there should be no reason for the strange sensation. But the raw, grey walls and the absence of any clearly audible sound give her this feeling…

She quickly rids herself of the thought. And turns around to leave.

Without a warning, Caius grabs her arm and yanks her around roughly. His milky eyes are narrowed at her, his lips pulled back over his teeth. He is angry for some reason, she can tell.

In fact, she hasn't seen the white haired vampire that furious in quite some time.

Her body tenses. What is this about?

"Don't you have something to tell me?" he asks, his voice icy. A strong contrast to his fiery glare, burning right through her.

Her mind races.

"I… I don't know what you are talking about," she says, her voice small and trembling, the exact opposite of what she wanted it to sound like.

"Don't you dare start lying to me!" he hisses furiously, her arm locked in his iron grasp.

She tries to say something but he shushes her. "I know exactly what you are doing," he continues, growls, "is that your idea of getting attention? Isn't your place as a respected guard enough for you?"

She tries to stand as tall and confident as possible, though inside, she is frozen with fear. They are alone. Nobody is here to help her.

He comes closer, and she can't move away from him, escape his inquiring, furious gaze. She is a mouse trapped.

"You and Aro?" he asks, spitting every word.

And she can't look him in the eye anymore.

So he found out.

She doesn't even want to think about what will happen now. Caius found out. Somehow, he must have heard them, or gotten suspicious and then put two and two together. And if he found out… He will tell the others. He will tell his own wife and Sulpicia and…

"Am I right?" His papery face is only inches away from hers. "Answer me, child!"

Inside, she is boiling.

Anger. It's none of his business!

Shame. He makes it sound like it is wrong. And it technically is.

Fear. She is a coward. She doesn't even know what she should answer him.

His teeth are bared at her.

And she was not prepared for this. At all.

"It is none of your business, Master Caius," she finally speaks. Her small fists clenched, lips pressed together tightly, eyes on the floor.

He strikes her across the face with so much force it sends her flying into the wall. There is some dust and she slumps down on the floor.

Like a broken doll.

She gasps. Of course it couldn't have hurt her granite body. It is only the gesture that hurts. Being slapped like a dog, a worthless, vile thing. She has been slapped before, but never like this.

Caius strides over to where she is lying on the cold stone. His black robe billowing behind him.

He grabs her by her hood.

"How stupid do you have to be to not see how dangerous this is?" his voice is full of disgust, "for all of us?"

She stays silent, and that angers him even more.

"He is your master," he continues, "and you are nothing more than a little whore."

That stings. She turns her face towards the wall.

"Don't you know any shame at all?"

She does, in fact. And right now it almost crushes her, making her bite her lip and shake and tremble.

"Look me in the eye, dammit!" He pulls her up by her cloak.

And then Alec is there trying to defend her. He always is.

"Get your hands off her!" he yells, too agitated to think about etiquette, "leave my sister alone!"

Alec, always Alec.

Caius turns around to glare at him.

"Alec, I'm having a serious word with your sister here," he hisses, "I'd very much appreciate it if you would keep out of this."

"She didn't do anything!" her brothers exclaims desperately. He looks so helpless.

"Are you sure?" Caius' smile is wicked now.

More quick footsteps.

"Caius, that is enough!" Aro's words are as cold as ice, "leave her alone."

Behind him, half a dozen of the guards follow. They all must have heard the noise as well. Apart from Aro, all of them have a confused expression on their faces. He, on the other hand, looks enraged.

She still feels unable to move.

He takes Caius' hands from her cloak himself and offers her his hand to get up. But he doesn't look her in the eyes directly.

"Caius, I think you, me and Marcus need to talk," he speaks, his face a polite, frozen mask, though his dark eyes spark.

"Jane, Alec, go back to your rooms, this is none of your business," he tells them, brushing his hand against her arm casually, "I'm sure Caius didn't mean to be rude." With that he shoots the angry vampire a pointed look.

Caius glares back at him, crossing his arms across his chest, unwilling to back off. "Yes, we need to have a talk indeed," his tone provoking.

But Aro is furious as well. "You are going too far, Caius," he growls, "I am not stupid, so don't treat me like that. I don't need you to tell me what to do."

Renata goes to stand protectively in front of him. Santiago moves to Caius side. But judging from their looks, both of them have no idea what they are supposed to do.

"Sure?" is Caius response, "because what you have been allowing yourself lately is not very smart."

Everyone is still staring. She is obviously the only one who knows what they are arguing about and it makes her feel even lower. Renata and Santiago both move closer to their masters, their posture alert, like they expect one of them to lunge at the other any moment now.

"It is none of your business, Caius," Aro's eyes are dangerously narrowed, "and I'd very much appreciate it if we could do any further discussing of this matter in private."

One look from him makes all of the guards gathered disappear very quickly.

Alec puts his arm around her and they leave with the others, not speaking a word.

Only when they have almost reached her room, Alec breaks the silence. "What was that about?" he asks. His voice trembles with anger. "He just slapped you like you are a piece of worthless scum."

What should she say to that?

"Maybe I deserved it," she whispers at last, not looking him in the eyes.

---

_**Is that a cliffhanger? ;P**_

_**Caius. He's mean, but I still love him. He's not stupid. He sees what's best for the Volturi, that's why Aro, who gets distracted easily, keeps him around. Also, he's devoted to his wife, who **__**(at least in my fics) happens to be the cousin of a certain Sulpicia. So it's pretty obvious that people who put the Volturi and their reputation at risk and cheat on their wife piss him off ROYALLY.**_


	22. Worrying and Pleading

_**Yes, an update. A**__** little late, but I had quite a lot of school work to do that I could not procrastinate.**_

---

Jane sits on her bed, completely motionless. The new day is already dawning, the weak, fawn light falls into her room, making Alec standing by the window stand out as a dark silhouette against the black grey sky. She takes in a few slow breaths and the sound of it is too loud to be calming.

It is so quiet.

"I caught him in the wrong moment," she whispers, not letting go of the woolen blanket in her hand. It's yet another decoration in her room full of decorative façades.

"You obviously did," Alec sighs, "and he does have a temper, but that was…"

He doesn't finish is sentence, leaving it hanging in the thick air between them. She knows he still waits for an explanation.

But she can give him none.

_I caught him in the wrong moment,_ was certainly a reason for why Caius snapped.

_He just doesn't like me much, _that is another part of an explanation she could give her brother.

But that still wouldn't explain enough.

The ancients are conferring for hours now.

And she can barely control herself. She feels hurt and low and very, very afraid. This is about her too!

She catches herself getting up and then hesitating halfway in the movement. Alec gives her a curious look. She sits down again, folding her small hands in her lap. Looking out of the window.

Alec sighs again and goes to pick up a book from her bookshelf. She knows she should do something too to distract herself, to make it look like she really just caught Caius in the wrong moment, nothing more.

What would be the worst that they could decide?

Her stomach clenches.

She has seen enough former guards being torn apart, she has done it with her own hands. Guards making trouble, guards endangering the empire.

"… how dangerous this is? For all of us?" Caius had said.

She feels even sicker. She didn't know that vampires could feel sick.

Caius considers her to be a danger to the Volturi.

But how far would they really go? Surely they wouldn't…

She is one of the most precious guards along with her brother, isn't she?

But she doesn't know if that would keep them from breaking her dead heart. Taking away from her what she loves most, as much as her own brother, maybe even more. Surely they can't separate her and Aro, can they?

_Oh, they can, _the small imaginary voice in her head tells her.

She clenches her fists around the blanket.

Aro loves her.

_But how much does he really love me? Enough? Am I worth it? _The thoughts are there in her racing mind, poisoning her.

And she is not going to be able to endure the suspense much longer.

"Jane, what are you so afraid of?"

Alec looks at her, the book in his hands forgotten. He knows her just too well.

_We are twins after all, _she thinks bitterly. And she wonders what her brother would do if he were in her situation…

But she can't finish that thought.

There are steps outside in the hallway, steps she recognizes.

Aro.

She and Alec both jump up, going to stand very close to each other.

Aro knocks once and then opens the door reluctantly. And she doesn't know if she should dare to look at him. He doesn't smile. His expression is calm, perfectly so. Only his shoulders are a little too tense, the line of his perfectly curved lips a little too tight. He looks at them, Alec standing in front of her just so slightly.

"Alec, would you mind leaving me alone with your sister?" Aro asks, his voice whispery and even.

Alec doesn't move. He looks back and forth between them.

"Don't worry," there is a bitter undertone to Aro's words, "I won't hurt her."

Alec looks at her.

"You can leave us alone," she tells him, "it won't be that bad."

She swallows and tries very hard to believe her own words.

"You can calm down," Aro says, putting a reassuring, fatherly hand on Alec's small shoulder. His palm touches the bare skin on his neck just so slightly, a fact that is not lost to her.

"Please leave, Alec," she says, _you don't need to see this. _

She doesn't say the last part out aloud. If she is going to have her heart broken, she can break down alone, can't she?

_Please don't let them break my heart!_

But she has promised herself not to beg. So she stands completely motionless as Alec walks out of her room reluctantly and Aro closes the door behind him. She still doesn't move as Aro turns around to her, not saying a word.

And she looks at him.

Seeing him standing there, standing tall, with the tired expression on his face. His face, composed but worn. His hands, clenched to fists, hanging limply by his sides. His eyes closed, but fluttering under the transparent eyelids. The purplish shades under his eyes and the bone white tone of his delicate skin even more prominent than usual.

And that's when she can't take it anymore.

She flings her arms around his waist, pressing her face in his hair flowing down his shoulders.

_Please don't leave me._

His has her lifted up and crushed to his chest so fast she doesn't even realize it. With his left hand he brushes all the hair, his and hers, the mess of lank, pale brown and silky, midnight black strands out of her face.

"I'm not planning to." He leaves something out on purpose.

And then his lips clash with hers, violently almost, desperate. That kiss tells her so much that words never could. And if it weren't for him holding her, she might have toppled over. But he holds her. How could he not?

And the kiss is sweet and bitter and full of need and also a bit of victory.

"Caius had to give in," he says when they finally part from their kiss, both panting for air.

His brows are still furrowed though. But he forces a smile for her.

"Was it very bad?" she looks up at him.

He presses his eyes close. "I'd rather not talk or think about it right now," he whispers.

She lifts his hand from around her waist and puts it to her cheek for him to read her thoughts. _I am here, _she thinks for him, _I love you._

He brings his other hand to her face too. Taking her lower lip in between his lips.

She keeps her eyes on his. Huge ruby red to clouded burgundy. And she sees so many different things there.

And as the thin fabric of her light dress falls to her feet, she gets up on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around his neck, pressing her body closer to his.

_I love you. _

_I love you. _

_Please don't leave me._

---

_**I feel emo now… o.O**_

_**I**__** decided to split the chapter in two parts. This was the first part. More details from the ancients' talk/fight (I'm fairly sure a lot of bad words in Etruscan were used) and fateful decisions will be in the next chapter.**_

_**Also, do you think I should**__** include other POVs in this fic too? I still want to keep it mainly from Jane's perspective in order to keep you biased (hehe), but maybe I could add some snippets of important events Jane isn't part of from another POV (like the conference of the ancients, for example). What do you think?**_


	23. Marcus: Bonds

_**I decided to still keep it mainly from Jane's POV, it is part of the story that she will never exactly know what Aro is **__**really thinking. But I will include some short snippets from other points of view here and there to give you a different angle too. So expect some Alec, Sulpicia, … POV. And since constant changes in one chapter confuse the hell out of me, they will be separate chapters.**_

_**Here comes Marcus' POV during the ancients' conference.**__** In subjective third person, past tense (or whatever you call it in English). I think it is not too hard to figure out who is yelling what, but Marcus just can't be bothered enough to add descriptions of facial expressions and so on to every sentence. At least he follows the conversation.**_

_**Oh, and have I already mentioned that I owe this-heart? She is my th**__**esaurus and our hilarious Jaro PMs have also helped me get through the difficulties with this chapter. If you haven't read her fics already, go read them NOW. **_

---

**Marcus POV**

Marcus' face was void of all emotion like always, his clouded eyes on the clouded night sky outside the window, but he was listening to his brothers' argument. Although the word 'fight' would have described the situation in the tower room at that moment better. The ancients were alone, this was only between the three of them.

"What got into you?!" an enraged Caius yelled at Aro, who was clenching and unclenching his fists by his sides.

"Caius, please," Aro still tried to be diplomatic, but his voice was raised as well.

They were speaking Etruscan now, that way nobody else who was not supposed to hear these things would be able to follow their conversation.

"You love her? Really?" Caius' voice was dripping with sarcasm and full of disgust, "you are… _with_ that attention-hungrywhore, risk the immunity and reputation of all of us and call it love?"

Aro growled warningly. "Don't you dare to call Jane a whore or something of that sort ever again," he hissed at Caius and his bared, razor-sharp teeth glistened in the pale moonlight, "we both know that you are mainly blaming this on me, not her." He ran a hand through his long black hair in frustration. "And I knew it. I just knew it! I knew you wouldn't even try to listen to me here!"

"You are married!"

"Do you think I don't know that?"

"She is a child!"

"She is not. You know as well as I do that she is not! If she were a child I would have never-"

"Try to tell that everyone else!"

"They don't have to find out. We could just keep this between the three of us."

"Honestly, have you lost your mind?!"

"Look, I can see that you are upset. I know perfectly well that this could pose a threat to power…"

"Not only _could_. It _will_ put us in serious trouble sooner or later. This is a grave danger for all of us!"

"I know. But that's exactly why we have to keep it a secret. If our enemies find out they would surely use it against us…"

"And what are you planning to do to prevent that from happening, may I ask?"

"I have brooded over possible solutions for this difficult situation for quite some time now-"

"This is so typically you!"

"Caius, could we please stop the personal insults, yes?"

"Admit it, you just chose to egoistically ignore all the possible consequences until now."

"At least I am trying to be constructive here."

"If you call it constructive to always get your way…"

"I am really serious about this. If you could just try to hear me out and not overreact for once…"

"… Is the little witch really that good in bed?"

"I beg you pardon?"

"I heard the two of you. So is she? Is fucking her worth risking what we have built up so carefully?"

"Caius! You really want to provoke me, don't you? This is about more than sex, I've already told you!"

"You have not answered my question."

"I'm not going to talk about this with you!"

"Why not? You started it."

"This… this is ridiculous!"

"So are you."

"Now listen to me-"

"This is not just about you! You can't just do as you please, we all have a responsibility here!"

Marcus knew that Caius was right. And he could see that Aro knew that too. This was indisputably a danger to their coven.

Marcus sighed.

But who would he be to separate two lovers?

Because two lovers they were, he could clearly see it in the pure grey bond they shared.

Tragic, twisted, star-crossed lovers, but true lovers all the more.

_When__ has true love ever been a happy one? _Marcus thought bitterly.

Aro and Caius were still yelling at each other. Throwing nasty names and pointless insults at each other's heads and they were not reaching any compromise.

Caius threw his arms up in the air. "Great, just great!" he exclaimed, walking over to the window. And then he turned around to glare at Aro. "You will end this now," he ordered his brother, who was half a head taller than him, "or else we will have to dispose of her in order to protect the Volturi."

Before Aro could respond to that, Marcus spoke for the first time, surprising both his brothers. "I'm afraid that he can't do either, Caius," he whispered, still the same bored expression on his face, his eyes still on the nightly sky. He knew that the final decision in this matter entirely depended on his decision.

They both looked at him then.

"You knew about this all along?" Caius spat, scowling.

Marcus only nodded.

"So tell me, brother," the fair-haired vampire challenged him, "what should keep us from stopping this foolishness now?"

Aro's lips were pressed into a tight line.

Caius had his arms crossed over his chest.

Marcus sighed.

"Their bond," he said, turning his head in Caius' direction, "it is too strong. Aro's hands are literally tied."

---

_**That was **__**annoying to write, I can tell you. The first draft read like the script of a very bad soap opera and I'm still not sure if I should be happy with the final version. Well, at least they didn't bitchslap each other. o.O**_

_**I'm convinced that Aro, Marcus and Caius speak Etruscan whenever they don't want anyone else **__**(like the wives, for example) to understand their conversation. It kind of amuses me how Caius gets all aggressive and swears and yells, and Aro uses the manipulative "you-just-don't-understand-me tactic". Yes, I do believe that the two of them, stubborn as they are, tend to become immature as soon as they don't get their will.**_

_**And somehow, I imagine Marcus to see different bonds as different colors. Love would be grey, since it became like that to him when Didyme died.**_

_**Okay, now I'm done with extra-long author's notes.**_


	24. Tangled and Tied

_**And we are back with Jane and Aro.**__** This is right after chapter 22.**_

_**More angst.**_

---

Jane sits on the edge of the bed, her naked feet tangled in the white sheets. The sky outside is a dull, lightening grey.

Her gaze is glassy.

Aro has his arms wrapped around her waist and rests his chin on her bony shoulder, pressing his cold cheek to hers.

"Me and Caius made a compromise," he whispers, "he won't risk bothering you anymore."

_C__ompromise. _His lips twitch around the word.

She winds strands of his long, soft hair around her fingers. _But he was right with what he said,_ she puts the thought in her mind for him to see.

"If I were honest I would have to admit that I don't blame him," he sighs, pressing his lips to her collarbone, "he is only being realistic, after all. Because I'm aware that this is very dangerous indeed."

_I'm sorry, _she doesn't say it out aloud.

He sighs again. "You should not be. I can deal with it, somehow. I have been accused of being manipulative and immoral before, so I guess it shouldn't really bother me anymore. And I won't let them hurt you in any way, I promise. And if Caius ever calls you a whore again I'll rip his miserable head off myself, I think I told him that quite clearly."

_I can take care of myself._

"No you can't." He sighs, pulling her closer. "Not when it comes to this. You have no idea what you have gotten yourself into, naïve little girl."

Her brows furrow. She never liked the idea of not being independent and able to defend herself, her life and reputation, whenever she needed to. But she has to admit that fighting newborns is something entirely different than getting in the middle of plotting and schemes and struggles to gain power and keep it under any circumstances, that is something that has always been too intricate for her.

_I do__n't want you to fight because of me._

_For_ her, yes. But not _because of_ her.

"Caius is just being stubborn," he tries to comfort her, "and frustrated. I think we yelled at each other in equal shares. I'm not going to lie, it was quite nasty. But Marcus backs us up. He knows this isn't just about lust and power. Marcus sees that, and there's nothing Caius can do about it."

_Why are you__ always so optimistic?_

"Because I have to be," he sighs, "because I'm a selfish, greedy monster who can't even stand the thought of losing you, even though it would be so much easier that way."

"But we can't keep this a secret forever," her voice is only a faint whisper, "Caius found out. Marcus and Felix know. So others will start to notice sooner or later too, it's only a matter of time."

"Nobody else is suspicious so far."

_Alec? Sulpicia?_

"Alec is still completely clueless. He wonders sometimes what you are up to, but he would never ever suspect this. Even though he's just as much an adult as you in some ways, he still is only a child in others. He won't be onto us anytime soon."

_Sulpicia?_

"She is surprisingly unsuspecting as well. Then again, I've always had my secrets I kept from her." He sighs.

She chews on her lower lip. "I don't even know how I should talk to her," she says, "sometimes she treats me like some little girl you can bribe into liking you with candy or something. She is so friendly and sweet and naïve and unknowing all the time. It's sickening!"

He gets hold of her wrist. "You're doing fine," he whispers into her ear, "and I don't want any fights between the two of you, do you understand?"

"Yes," she murmurs, "of course I understand."

"Good," he breathes.

"I understand," she doesn't turn around to see his eyes, "I know that I would be in serious trouble if I ever were to hurt her. But my temper might get the best of me one day."

He grabs her by the shoulder rather roughly and yanks her around. His dark eyes burn into hers and his face, his perfect classic features grim, is only inches away from hers. "If you hurt my wife, I cannot guarantee for anything."

She shakes his hands off her shoulders, turning her head towards the wall so he can't see her face. But she can't stop the sob from rising in her chest.

Aro has his arms wrapped around her in an instant. "Jane, please look at me," he whispers, pleads, "please don't cry."

She is a vampire, she can't cry, he should know that. She can only dry sob. She tries to shake him off again, but this time it's only a weak attempt and he knows that. She always knew that these were the rules. But she still feels hurt. _In other words, if I'm stupid enough to kill your wife, I will get killed for it. _Her thoughts are full of bitterness.

"No," he shakes his head," that's not how I meant it." He takes her hand in his, his thumb rubbing circles on her skin. "But if you openly threaten her, I can't keep her, Caius and Athenodora from… disposing of you." He sighs. "Even if I would stand up for you, I would be outnumbered. These are the rules."

And he is right.

Why does he always have to be right?

She leans in to his touch, his bare skin against hers, wishing nothing more than they could stay just like this forever.

"I love you, Jane," he whispers, "sadly, that doesn't make things any easier."

_I love you. I love you so much it hurts._

"We are both equally obsessed." He chuckles darkly, his breath against her cheek.

_It would be easier for you if we ended this._

He nods, but doesn't stop tracing patterns on her cold skin.

She turns her head slightly, her ruby eyes large with sadness. "And still, you are with me."

"Oh, it's not that I didn't try to prevent it," he murmurs, "I even put Chelsea onto it."

Silence.

_You told her to loosen the bond between us?_

She can feel him nodding his head. "Yes," he says, "As soon as I realized what was going on. Right after you told me and I figured I couldn't ignore it any longer. I told her to weaken our bond convinced that your hopeless crush and my silly obsession would vanish." He brushes his nose against her cheek. "Just to have to realize that she couldn't even touch it."

_What?_She turns her head to look at him.

"It was already too strong then," he explains," not even Chelsea could do anything about it, just wonder."

"So she knows too," she gasps.

He puts a finger to her lips. "Unlike Marcus, she can't see what kind of relationship a bond really is, just how strong it is. So she likes to think that I'm something like a very close father figure to you."

She takes a moment to consider that.

_Father figure? That is… creepy._

He chuckles, but not happily. "We'll leave her in that thought."

She runs her hands down his bare, lean chest, sighing. "It sure sounds wrong."

The sheets rustle as they move closer to each other. He cups her face, bringing his soft lips to hers. "It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks," he sighs, "I'm in love with you, you are in love with me, and someone is going to get hurt sooner or later."

---

_**Did**__** I already mention that I think "fade to/from blacks" are very convenient? They save me a lot of awkwardness. **_


	25. Cat and Mouse

_**Please don't throw the evil cats at me**__** for not updating for a while! ;) Test week, that's all I'm going to say. There aren't enough words to describe how much I despise all that stress.**_

_**And it didn't help that this chapter was **__**being very "stubborn". Sometimes my vivid, weird mind with its love for making up conversations with fictional characters just gets in my way.**_

_**Me: (thinking) Now… what could Jane and Aro do to still spend some time together but make Caius think they are not with each other so he can't disturb them on purpose at the same time?**_

_**Aro: (randomly pops up in my mind out of nowhere) "Well, I and my brilliant mind would have some interesting suggestions…"**_

_**Me: "Dammit, Aro! You make it hard for me to keep this fic serious and T-rated!"**_

_**o.O**_

---

Jane tries to keep her face apathetic. She tries to pretend that she isn't scared. She tries to look like she doesn't notice Caius glaring at her with barely concealed hatred whenever nobody else is around.

Alec is confused, she can tell. She never explained to him what happened in the tower room, she tried to make him believe that Caius only got angry at her for making a cheeky comment. He doesn't really buy that, but he has to, because there can be no other explanation for him and why would he have a reason to not believe her, his own sister?

She feels like a liar. A low, cheating liar.

And she feels bitter.

Caius might have given in grudgingly, but Aro had to compromise in return that he would avoid endangering the Volturi with their relationship under any circumstances. In practice and not in theory, that means that he can come to see her even less frequently. And every tiny smile they give each other in public goes not unnoticed under the watchful eyes of Caius.

She tries her best to look like her small world is not revolving around Aro, she tries her best to make it look like there is still the chance that this could be ended any time without much damage.

Aro does the same, putting his arm around Sulpicia's hips. He doesn't show any weakness to give Caius a reason to regard their compromise as broken, but makes it perfectly clear that he is serious about this.

And she fells sick to her stomach every time Caius shoots her a withering glance when Aro kisses Sulpicia's forehead or cheek or lips.

And an unspoken part of the compromise is that he spends as much time as possible with his wife.

"It is better than the 'if-I-catch-you-and-Jane-together-I-can't-guarantee-anything option' he gave me", Aro tried to calm her down after he told her, "and I can still come up with some excuses, as long as they are good and don't get anyone suspicious." He smirked, trying to cheer her up.

And what can she do about that?

Nothing.

Another point of this arrangement is that she will not threaten Sulpicia's position in any way.

She never intended to do that, Aro knows and understands. She has more dignity than that. But Caius obviously still thinks that she is just with Aro to get more attention and power. He sees her as some kind of filthy slut.

It would anger her, if it wouldn't hurt her so much deep down.

_Is it so hard to believe that I am actually in love?_

"It's not that Caius could not see that," Aro tried to reason, "he just doesn't like it. Simple as that. He just happens to be one who always sees the obstacles first."

Obstacles. There are so many for them she can't even count them. Doing that would be pointless anyway.

So instead, she takes everything she can get.

But all too often that's just not enough for either of them.

Aro is with her in her room, just being there, and they are talking. And they have to whisper and hide and hold back and be careful with everything they do and she is honestly sick of it.

"You are already sick of me?" Aro cups her face with his cool hands. His long, dark lashes flutter against her cheek.

"No, of course not!" she exclaims and turns around abruptly and their noses accidentally get in each other's way. A human would surely have it multiply broken, but his classic, pointed nose is as straight as ever. "Ooops."

He chuckles and kisses the tip of her small, button nose.

_I'__ll never be sick of you._

"You will one day, trust me," he teases, but he sounds like he is only half joking.

"I'm only sick of all this hiding and constant _control_," she sighs, emphasizing the last word.

He lets himself fall backwards on her bed and surprises her by pulling her on his chest in one quick movement so she lies on top of him. "Controlling? I'd say we have a rather equal relationship," he grins. The orange evening sun illuminates his kind face and he looks even more beautiful.

"Aro, be serious please. You know I was talking about Caius, not you." But she can't stop herself from kissing him hard right on the lips.

It's funny how she never addresses him with his name when they are in public, but as soon as they are alone it becomes completely natural. _Master _would sound as wrong as _child _when they are together, because without façades to keep up, it is just _him _and _her_. It is easy, really.

Not for Caius though.

Caius tries to keep them apart whenever possible. He takes a sick pleasure in controlling and disturbing them as often as possible. He even goes as far as coming up with ridiculous chores for her, just so she can't be with Aro.

He can't order Aro around, but he can do that with her.

He can't force Aro to leave her, but he can make both their lives as uncomfortable as possible.

The first time Caius barged in her room without knocking she had just had time to hide under her sheets, mortified. Aro had stared daggers at his brother but had no choice but throwing on his clothes and leaving for the tower room with him quickly to not anger the already furious vampire even more, otherwise Caius would have certainly thrown one of his infamous fits, and that would have attracted unwanted attention. Of course, Caius knew perfectly well that they feared that, and he used that knowledge to his advantage shamelessly.

By now, she has almost gotten used to the fact that there is no privacy. It makes her grit her teeth in frustration.

And she knows exactly what he is doing. Increasing the pressure, hoping that they will break sooner or later.

It's like he has a new mission he pursues with all his energy: Annoy the hell out of Jane and Aro until they give up and stop seeing each other at all.

"Jane," Aro whispers, "Caius is persistent, but I'm just as persistent as him, if not more. Please don't let his behavior get to you." His hand wanders to the naked skin on the small of her back and he kisses her insistently.

_I'll try, _she thinks for him to see.

But the truth is, she loves and _needs_ Aro with every fiber of her body, and Caius just tramps that under his foot.

She starts kissing Aro hungrily and presses her small body closer to his until there is no space between them anymore. He tightens his grip on her and his kisses are just as greedy.

And in moments like these she feels that is it entirely worth it.

"You know if Caius catches us like that we will be in serious trouble, right?"

_Do I look like I__'m willing to stop?_

"Do _I_ look like I'm willing to stop?" he asks her back, smirking around her lips.

And then they both hear the footsteps outside in the hallway at the same time.

Caius.

She sighs in defeat. Aro looks like he is ready to murder someone, namely his brother.

But as Jane wants to get up, Aro gets hold of her wrist, not letting her go. The smile appearing on his face is smug. "Are we giving in that easily?" he whispers, raising an eyebrow.

_What do you suggest?_

He has her swept up in his arms and set down on the tiled floor in the bathroom again in less than a second. He turns on the water with one hand and cups her face with the other.

"He would surely not dare to walk in on you taking a shower, would he?" Aro grins.

She has to hold back the tinkling laugh that wants to escape her lips._ You know no shame, don't you?_ She wraps her arms around his neck and gets on her tiptoes, pulling him closer into a passionate kiss.

Outside, she can hear Caius hesitate and then his steps trail away as he walks away.

"Two can play this game," Aro smirks triumphantly.

---

_**Caius has **__**a new hobby: embarrassing Jane and Aro. But the two of them are an even match for him. o.O**_

_**Long chapter. Be happy for me! And r**__**eview. Please? I am not going to beg, I like favorites and alerts, but reviews are still nicer to read, you know? **_


	26. Frustration and Tension

_**I have a very important English exam tomorrow. But I figured writing fanfic is a good way to prepare for that, right? RIGHT? o.O**_

_**This chapter isn't just at one **__**setting like usually. The first part of the chapter is at a store in the city, the second part takes place in the tower room. With that, I tried to bring out how Jane's frustration is growing overall, and I hope I don't confuse anyone by doing so.**_

---

Jane looks around her, her sensitive nose wrinkled at the stench of brand new clothes, stale August air and sweaty humans.

Heidi, Chelsea and Melina, one of the wives' guards, took her and Alec shopping, and Jane is fairly sure that Caius has something to do with it.

"Jane, what are you doing with your clothes all the time?" Heidi chides her like an overprotective older sister, "you would think that you could be a bit more careful with them. Always fighting and getting them torn and ruined…" She shakes her head and her ponytail of long, shiny mahogany curls swings from right to left.

Jane just shrugs.

Alec is about as enthusiastic about this as her, but at least he tries to hide his displeasure and just stares at the humans passing by as they wait for Heidi and Chelsea to pick something out for them.

"Dark green or blue-grey for Alec?" Chelsea asks Heidi, "dark green would look nice with his dark hair…"

_What are we? Life-sized dolls? _Jane thinks, annoyed.

At least the human shop assistants give them unconsciously a wide berth, otherwise she might have exploded already.

Her eyes, reflected in the tall mirror before her, are a strange muddy brown, a mix of their natural ruby color and the green, already dissolving contacts over them.

When she was human, her eyes used to be blue. What shade, she doesn't remember and neither does Alec, Aro is the only one who remembers. "Your eyes were sky blue," he told her, smiling, "they were really pretty. Large, innocent and soulful. And thus scared the humans even more. It is a sad truth: what they don't understand, they hate instead."

"It would have been fascinating to watch you and your brother grow up completely," he mused, "you were so promising."

She isn't sure if he had said that because he secretly wishes she were older.

She sure wishes she were.

_I__f I were only a little older… it would make things a lot easier._

Or maybe that is just an unrealistic illusion, wishful thinking.

Heidi holds out a dress for her to try on.

"Why is everyone trying to put me in girly dresses all the time?" Jane mumbles.

"Aw, come on, Jane," Alec tries to cheer her up, "you do look pretty in them. Besides, it saves you from wearing things like _this _– he picks on the fabric of a pair of jeans that look like he would fit in them two times – so be happy."

It has been a while since she last fed, and now it takes her some effort not to think constantly about the scorching thirst in her throat. And it makes her even grumpier.

"Jane," Alec sighs, "stop glaring at me like that. It is not my fault that you are in a bad mood."

Of course it isn't _his_ fault.

She smiles sheepishly at him. "I guess it isn't, no." She sighs. "It isn't _your _fault anyway…"

Caius is to blame for her frustration, her anger. Sulpicia is too. And…

_It is my fault too._

She doesn't like having to admit that. At all.

So she tries to ignore it most of the time.

But it is still true.

She shouldn't let this get to her. She shouldn't be bothered so much by all the hiding and lying… and cheating. After all, she has the world's most amazing man in love with her as madly and inseparably as she is in love with him. She has Aro, hasn't she?

_Haven't I?_

Heidi and Melina go to pay and they head back to the castle quickly then. They are all a little bit too thirsty to stay longer.

Sulpicia and Athenodora already wait in the tower room for them.

Sulpicia, of all people!

Jane sighs inwardly, as if she weren't already annoyed enough.

Melina hands them the bags with the things she was ordered to buy.

The wives never leave the tower.

_What__ a boring life, _Jane snorts inwardly.

Sulpicia's words interrupt her thoughts. "Oh cute," the gorgeous blonde says to her, gesturing at the new, red dress she is wearing, "you look like Little Red Riding Hood."

Jane raises an eyebrow.

_Cute? _

_Of__ course, I am only a cute little girl! Oh, you would be surprised if you knew what I am up to, _she thinks, fuming inside, but never intends to say.

She remembers Aro's words.

_Don't let anyone provoke you._

"Thank you," is all she says instead, her voice weary, looking out of the window and not at Sulpicia's face.

She is almost relieved when Aro comes in the door and walks over to them.

She tries to smile at him.

"Aro," the invidious, stupid blonde exclaims, "I haven't seen you for quite a while." Jane has turned around towards them without noticing and she composes her expression quickly as Aro gives her a warning look.

He stands behind his wife, his arm loosely around her waist.

"Heidi, I see you went shopping with Alec and Jane," he says, a smile on his lips that are much too close to Sulpicia's golden hair for Jane's liking. She resists the urge to clench her small hands to fists. "You look pretty, Jane," Aro adds nonchalantly and to anyone besides her it would just sound like a completely innocent compliment.

She stretches out her hand for him and he takes it into his. He reads her thoughts all the time, so there isn't anything suspicious about it.

_Pretty as in '__cute like a stupid little girl' or pretty as in 'beautiful, see you as soon as Caius is distracted by Athenodora'? _She raises her eyebrow at him. _Because I honestly try to be patient and not slip up, but right now it is really hard. _

The corner of his lips pulls up into a smile. "Ah I see," he says, his voice serious and calm as if he were nothing but mildly interested in what she just showed him, "looks like you had a nice day. And Caius shouldn't take too long anymore, so don't worry too much." He smiles at her before he turns to Sulpicia again. "I still have a lot to do, so I guess I should go back to my study," he informs her, "don't expect me anytime soon this evening."

Jane smiles inwardly. Sulpicia turns her head and looks up at him. "You work too much for my liking lately," the unknowing blonde sighs.

Jane grimaces back at her. _Not nearly often enough for my liking._

Sulpicia gives her a curious look. "You aren't in a good mood today, are you?" she asks.

'_Not in a good mood' is an understatement!_

"Congratulations, even you are getting it finally," Jane mumbles, turning away towards the window again. She can feel the emotions inside her threatening to boil over.

"Jane…" Aro says warningly.

"… Excuse me?" Sulpicia blinks.

---

_**While Sulpicia is rather naïve and trusting (she would have to be in order to be with **__**a man like Aro that long, doesn't she?), she is not shallow and vain, Jane only prefers to see her that way. Oh the tension between the two of them…**_

_**And oh the growing pressure… o.O**_


	27. Confrontation and Evasion

_**J**__**ane just needs a hug instead of being put under pressure all the time. But unfortunately, nobody seems to see that… o.O**_

---

Jane sighs and squeezes her eyes shut. She is lying facedown on her narrow bed, the light on because she can't bring herself to get up and turn it off.

She has made an even bigger mess now.

Instead of just letting go, she refused to apologize to Sulpicia for her rude words and even Caius got involved. To be precise, he slapped and threatened her while Sulpicia and Aro watched.

She had looked at Aro. Waiting for him to say something. Waiting for him to defend her.

But he didn't.

"Jane," his voice was void of all emotion, "apologize to Sulpicia now."

"But-" She stretched out her hand for him to read her thoughts. Her angry, humiliated, hurt, boiling thoughts.

But Aro didn't let her speak, nor did he take her hand. "… I don't care if she provoked you," he said, not looking at her, "please apologize."

"How did I provoke her…?" Sulpicia looked back and forth between her and her husband, her expression a mix of insecurity and anger.

"She is still the mistress," Caius hissed, "and you owe her your respect. Is that clear, child?"

The memory alone makes her clench her fists.

And when Aro comes to see her, she wants nothing more than to just forget about all this.

She crushes her lips to his. Closing her eyes and trying to taste nothing but him, sweet like honey, trying to feel nothing but his rough lips against hers.

But of course Aro pulls away as soon as she is getting really into the kiss. "Jane," he grabs her hands with his, "wait a moment, will you? … We need to talk about a couple of things first."

_We talk all the time._

"Well, yes, but…" he pulls her closer to him, "just something I want to address."

She sighs. She has actually other plans.

"Jane," he kisses her lightly on the lips, but his expression is serious, "I think we need to talk about your… attitude towards my wife."

_You know my attitude towards her damn well._

The anger, irritation and frustration are back.

"Yes I do," his voice is icy now, "I know that you don't like her and that's your good right. But that doesn't mean that you have to be so extremely obvious about it."

She goes to sit down on her bed, looking up at him and picking on the sleeve of her dark blue sweater. "That is difficult sometimes, you know?"

He sits down as well and wraps his long arms around her, burying his face in her hair. "Then try a bit harder. Please? For me?" he murmurs, brushing his lips against hers. And how could she deny him anything? Of course she wants to try but…

"Sulpicia asked me if she had done anything wrong to deserve your impolite behavior," he sighs, "and it was really rather hard for me to explain to her that it is nothing personal. That it is just your temper and your way of mistrusting most people in general. It's not that she wants to be best friends with you. She just tries to make you like her at least a little, so that you are on neutral terms. That's really all she asks for."

"She doesn't like me much either, does she?"

Her bold words make him chuckle. "Well…" he smirks at her, "she _does _call you a brat… But it's mainly just because the two of you are so different. And yes, she doesn't like the fact that you are my favorite and I spend a lot of time with you."

_She has no idea just how right she is. _She grins mischievously and presses her lips to his again.

He runs his hand down her back. "Still…"

_So the feeling is mutual. _Her annoyance is obvious in her thoughts.

Aro's hand stops moving. "But she still happens to be the mistress," he forcer her to look him in the eyes, "so you owe her your respect, is that clear?"

She huffs, but nods at last.

_And I will stay the power-hungry, home-__wrecking whore. The worthless slut. _Her thoughts are more weary than anything else.

"You are frustrated." It sounds like something between a guess and a statement to her ears.

_No way! Why would I be frustrated? _She tries sarcasm.

"Why?" he murmurs into her ear.

It would be so easy to let this go. To tell him that it will be okay, to tell him that she loves him and can take all the hiding and lying… and cheating. To kiss him mindless and have him touch her senseless. Like she has done all the times before.

But she can't. Not this time.

It's getting too much for her to swallow, and she fears she might choke on it.

Just like that.

"Because," she whispers in his hair, "because I _do _feel like a worthless slut more and more…"

There is no sense in not telling him anyway, he would read her frustrated thoughts sooner or later. Whether he decides to acknowledge them or not is an entirely different question, of course.

He wraps his arms around her, a safe cage. "You are _not_." His words sound almost angry.

_Try to tell that Caius._

_And__ there is still Sulpicia…_

"Jane," he says earnestly, "I can't even compare the two of you."

She knows that. Of course she knows that he must love her or else he would have given this hopeless romance up a long time ago. And still…

"You might have to choose one day…" her words trail away.

"Not yet." He sounds so confident, so sure of himself. But the way how he looks past her and not at her gives him away.

_What if you can't choose me? _

_What if you don't choose me?_

"Jane," he shakes his head, "what makes you think I would not choose you?"

_You have been with her for almost two thousand years. So don't tell me you don't love her. Because that would be a lie. You must love her in at least some ways._Her thoughts are almost brutally honest.

"I love you more." And now he is being stubborn again.

_What if that is not enough?_

"Why do you think I would betray you for Sulpicia?" he challenges her, knowing her thoughts exactly.

_Well, sh__e happens to have quite some advantages I don't…_

He groans. "Do you really think that I care about stupid things like _boob _size?" he exclaims, "I thought you knew me better than that!"

"That is not the point!" She pushes his arm away and jumps up, standing before him, even now barely taller than him. She clenches her teeth. "That… that is only one of so many things!"

"Jane, please, could you just let this go?" His voice is cold again, and oh how she hates that! There is no hint of emotion there.

"No."

_No. No, I can't let this go._

"This won't bring us anywhere."

"Why? Because you'd rather ignore problems? Shove them aside? Pretend there isn't any problem at all?" She picks on a lint on her sweater, too much a coward to look at him.

To say that was reckless. But she is too desperate now.

But Aro doesn't even give her an honest answer to that. "You are being ridiculous," is all he says. He pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers, grimacing.

"Oh, now I'm ridiculous?" she snaps back it him, not trying to compose herself any longer, "how am I supposed to not feel insecure and jealous from time to time? For crying out loud, you are with both me and her and seem to enjoy yourself just fine, I have every right to be angry about that, dammit!"

Now she said it.

"Jane…" Aro stretches out his arm and tries to grab her wrist but she snatches it away from him and storms out of the room, too furious and upset and hurt to look back at him.

---

_**Couple fight… o.O**_

_**Oh, one last thing: voting for the "Volturi fanfic contest" is now open (on my profile). GO VOTE! **_


	28. Stubborn and Obedient

_**Aro and Jane are not perfect. They both have quite some bad, undesirable character traits. Aro is a jerk, especially when it comes to emotions, and Jane has a childish temper. But that makes them more interesting, doesn't it?**_

---

Jane is still angry.

She sits on the narrow windowsill in her room, her cheek pressed against the dirty glass of the window. _I should clean my room, _she thinks. It's a chore she could easily delegate to one of the lower guards or even a human, but she hasn't even done that once. She doesn't like the idea of other people in her room more than necessary, let alone for cleaning. It is _her_ room. It is just… too personal. Her personal hiding place. Much like her mind.

Alec and Aro are the only exceptions to that unspoken rule of hers.

_Aro…_

She hasn't talked to Aro more than necessary in over a week. And she tries to look at him as little as possible.

It takes her a lot of effort, but this is important to her.

_If he can be stubborn so can I._

It is hard though.

_If he truly loved me, he wouldn't act like that._

The doubt is there, nagging at her, as does the wish to just let it go and kiss him again.

Jane squeezes the small red rubber ball in her hands, a little something she found in a hidden corner of the tower room the other day. A forgotten relic of an unfortunate child, most likely.

Somewhere in between ignoring and glaring at each other Aro called her silly and melodramatic. "Why can't we just talk about this?" he exclaimed, running a hand through his hair, "why do you always have to be so emotional?"

That made her even angrier. Frustrated and hurt.

"At least I am playing with open cards!" she yelled, "at least I am showing true emotions outside my room!"

And after that she stopped talking to him.

She wants to cry. She wants to yell at him, slap him. Anything to makes this bone-crushing situation better. Anything to make him wear his heart on his sleeve. And she still wants to kiss him.

It is almost ridiculous, really, how much she needs him, how much her life revolves around him.

_I'm no better than Sulpicia._

She hates that thought, but it is still true.

_But unlike Sulpicia, I'm not pathetically dependant and sitting in a tower the whole day just to get some power and protection. __Unlike her, I worked hard to gain all of that._

She throws the small red rubber ball against the wall.

It bounces back.

Again.

It bounces back.

Again.

Of course she catches it effortlessly ever time. Lazily, almost.

It bounces back.

Again.

It bounces back.

The ball is almost exactly the same color as her shirt. It is Alec's actually, but he gave it to her because he doesn't like the silly print on it. She doesn't care about things like that.

She envies Alec in a way.

_I depend o__n Aro just as much. Not for the reasons Sulpicia does, no, but because I love him._

_Jane of the Volturi never depended on anyone, _she likes to tell herself. But of course that is yet only another lie.

There are way too many lies. They have piled up. Impossible to ignore any longer.

_Jane of the Volturi doesn't depend more on anybody than on Aro._And she doesn't want it to be that way. But she can't help it. Because she loves him.

Of course the fact that she is supposed to be his obedient guard doesn't help.

Caius sneers at her every time she has to come to the tower room and he can see the obvious tension between her and Aro. Caius thinks he has won.

And maybe he has.

_No._

She doesn't even want to think of it. She can't even think of _not_ being with Aro.

_No._

Felix' loud knock on the door left ajar interrupts her gloomy thoughts, the vague anticipation.

His even words pull her from the dark windings of her mind. "Aro needs you in the tower room," he announces.

She turns around and glares at Felix too hard, making him drop to his knees in agony. He cries out, and it takes her longer to stop than it actually would.

"Whoa," Felix tries to catch his breath, supporting himself on his hands, "don't shoot the messenger."

She doesn't apologize.

_Why should I apologize? I might overreact a little from time to time, but what does he expect? _

She knows it would be her turn to apologize to Aro. He tried. She can't accuse him of being too proud, at least not in that way. But she is still hurt. How can she not be?

What a mess.

She climbs down the windowsill and throws on her cloak wordlessly.

She doesn't know how much Felix noticed of the current situation. But certainly too much for her liking. That makes her even angrier.

"You are just so damn stubborn," Felix mumbles as they walk down the long, dark corridor, not looking at her.

He flinches visibly as she stops walking, glaring at him.

She is so close to burning the bulky vampire again. "Sure," she murmurs angrily, "now he is even too busy to talk to me himself, so he just sends you to talk in favor of him." She knows Aro just too well. But she does long to see him, and having to admit that makes her feel defeated, exposed, even more hurt. She grits her teeth.

Her small feet start moving again.

Felix pushes open the heavy doors.

The sight in the tower room surprises even her, and she has seen quite a lot in her long life.

A small coven stands in front of the three ancients and they are obviously pleading desperately. It is almost pathetic.

Jane walks over to Aro's side, a lovely fake smile on her cherubic face. She quickly counts, there are five vampires in total. Vampires she has never seen before.

Two males. Rather muscular and experienced, judging from their postures. Two females. Most likely fighters as well. One of them, a tall woman with long, braided hair acts as the spokeswoman. She is agitated, gestures with her hands and her voice is too high for Jane's liking. Almost the entire guard has gathered and even Caius' looks tense. Aro is the only one who still seems completely calm and relaxed.

It takes Jane less than a second to register all of that. And analyze it.

The fifth vampire is a young girl with light brown curls.

Younger than her.

Her glowing crimson eyes are wild.

---

_**Oh, and I'm always very grateful when people tell me where they think the story is going. :) I have a vague storyline in my mind, but I love to he**__**ar readers' theories. Because maybe I am completely on the wrong track?**_


	29. Law and Justice

_**A review reminded me**__** that I haven't updated in quite a while… ooops…**_

_**Jane is pissed, Aro is pissed, Caius is pissed and now there is a strange coven and with it potential trouble. Of course that cannot end well. **_

---

Jane gives Felix, who stands right next to her, a confused look. _What is going on?_

The young, trembling girl in front of them looks all too familiar.

Familiar not because she has actually seen this one before, the girl's face is unknown and nondescript to Jane's keen eyes, but familiar because she has seen many like her before. And she has destroyed every single of them.

"Immortal child," Caius hisses.

"No, no," the female leader interjects and the panic in her voice breaks through, "Roza is no immortal child!"

Caius rises from his chair, glaring furiously at the woman daring to question his words.

But Aro holds out a hand, indicating him to not rush anything. "Let her speak, brother," he says, his head tilted like he is hearing some concealed undertone to her words that he considers interesting enough to inquire further. A strand of dark hair falls in his face as he leans forward slightly, his dark burgundy eyes flickering in the direction of the immortal child. "Well," he turns back to the spokeswoman, "do not hesitate to tell us what you wanted to."

Jane quickly focuses again on the small coven as she realizes that Aro saw that she looked at him from the corner of her eye.

Alec, who stands just behind her, leans forward, ready to act at a moment's notice.

The bulkier of the males puts his arm loosely around the short woman's waist. They are mates, obviously.

Jane looks the other way.

The female with the blonde braids, Jane does not want to think of her as the mother of the young one, tries to defend her small coven. "They are barely older than Roza!" She points at her and Alec accusingly.

Jane and her brother hiss in unison.

_We are probably double the age of that thing!_

Caius taps his fingers on the arm of his chair. "Unlike your… _abomination_, Jane here is an adult." his eyes glisten maliciously.

"She is as mature as any grown-up vampire, her mental capacity is not the one of a child in any way," Aro adds in a calm voice and with a dangerously kind smile, "she is an adult, not an immortal child." He ignores the annoyed side-glance Caius shoots him and his lips press into a tight line.

"Besides, who is accused of creating an immortal child here?" Caius finishes, "you or us?"

"I didn't mean to…" the woman whispers, "but Roza didn't do anything."

The rest of the miserable coven goes to stand protectively in front of the child.

"It came to our ears that_ child_ isn't as innocent as you would like to make us believe," Aro says, shaking his head in disapproval, sighing, "it appears that Roza here has done quite some damage, namely called unwanted attention to our kind by being unable to control her thirst a little too often. Or am I mistaken?"

The little girl lowers her eyes under his inquiring glance.

_Exactly like a child not aware of the consequences of its behavior__, _Jane thinks angrily. Oh how she loathes that _thing_!

"Roza, show him what you can do," the blonde whispers desperately, she looks willing and determined to do everything to protect the child, and so does the rest of the coven.

_We should just kill them now, _Jane thinks.

But Aro lifts his head, and she curses his cheerful enthusiasm for just about everything that promises to be special and unique. "And that would be?" he asks, his voice curious, his right eyebrow slightly raised.

Caius scowls like the resigned mother of a difficult child.

Aro keeps on ignoring him. "Would you allow me to take your hand, young one?" he asks the thing politely, yet authoritative.

But the little girl is too frightened to even look up at him. Her small hands tremble visibly.

_Coward._ Jane's thoughts are almost gloating. Another low hiss escapes her full lips.

The girl's head snaps in her direction and she opens her little mouth. Her words are a single stream of strangely accentuated words. "I can tell you everything you want to know," she blurts out and looks at Aro pleadingly, "it is my talent, you know? I can tell you everything about how people are with each other. I… I can tell you that _Jane _over there is very angry at you and-"

Jane is sure she has heard Aro chuckle.

But the _abomination i_sn't finished yet. "But she likes you," she continues quickly, trying to look very serious, "she is kind of happy and not happy with you, it is hard to explain…

Roza breaks off, confused. And the calm on Aro's pale face is now nothing but a mask.

"Give me your hand, child," he demands.

Jane tenses as the girl steps closer, her little pink shoes clean and stainless. No detail is lost to Jane and she knows the other guards gathered around the ancients with her are as alert as her.

Roza looks back again over her shoulder, her curls bouncing. The short female nods at her encouragingly, but her red eyes are nothing but worried. The girl stretches out her hand and Aro takes it in his quickly. Jane can see his brows furrow as he reads her thoughts, and that is not a good sign. His kind smile has completely faded.

Caius is already _this _close to snapping, Jane can see it from the look in his milky, dangerously narrowed eyes, but then the immortal child is foolish enough to speak again.

"You like her too," she stutters, desperately trying to win Aro over, "that Jane girl, I mean. You like her a lot like Boris likes-"

Jane silences her with one look before she can do any more damage than she already has.

The child screams out in agony and drops to the floor. It takes her coven about a second to react but by that time the guard is prepared.

Aro nods at his brothers and a triumphant smile spreads on Caius' papery face. "Kill them," is his simple order.

Jane doesn't even have to do anything.

She just stands and watches, trying to calm down and not think too much about how close that was. She knows Aro does the same.

His dark eyes spark and he doesn't even try to hide his obvious anger and displeasure at this. He doesn't even look at her.

---

_**Boris = **__**the bulkier one of the male vampires of Roza's coven. I figured since Roza really is a child, she would just talk about him assuming everyone knows who he is.**_

_**Roza had a talent similar to Marcus', although weaker. **__**She could kind of read people's emotions about each other. But the fact that she couldn't quite place nor understand Aro and Jane's relationship and her inability to keep quiet about things that might get her and her coven into trouble proves that she isn't able to think like an adult. Aro saw that. And decided to use it against her.**_

_**I don't like to kill characters off (remember my words for later, REMEMBER MY WORDS), but "Don't leave any witnesses" is Aro's motto, I guess… o.O I don't think that makes him automatically a bad person, it just shows how far he would go to protect what is most important to him and his plans and beliefs (see "the Didyme incident"). After all, he isn't a Volturi leader for no reason.**_

_**Is**__** Jane a hypocrite for calling the little girl a 'coward'? **_


	30. Alec: Worrying

_**I decided I need a break from the Jane angst. **__**I feel like it's getting repetitive… o.O**_

_**Anyway, I noticed I neglected the Jane-Alec relationship a bit in the past chapters. And Alec is a very important character in this fic, after all he is Jane's twin, and has always indisputably been the most important person in her life (until Aro came along, anyway).**__** Alec knows his sister very well, he would know when anything is off, even if he can't exactly tell what.**_

_**So here is a chapter from his POV, to get his concern for his sister and outlook on things across a bit better.**_

---

**Alec POV**

Something is off, I can feel it.

And I don't like it.

I know better than anyone else how moody my sister can be, how the smallest, most insignificant things tend to get to her. I am the one who tries to calm her down when her temper gets the best of her and makes her do imprudent things. I am the one who holds her when her small frame shakes with sobs she doesn't want anyone else to see.

But this… this is almost as bad as last summer.

And just like then, she won't tell me what it is all about.

She is moody, she is angry, she is frustrated, she is desperate. Most heart-breaking of all, sometimes she is just sad and apathetic as if she didn't have any energy left.

I've thought about all the possibilities, one worse than the other, but I still haven't found any explanation for her behavior yet that would make sense.

I know that Caius is giving her trouble at the moment. Caius is being unfair, for whatever unfathomable reason, but we all know that he has always been like that when he doesn't get his way or is just in a grumpy mood (which happens to be almost all the time). Jane just used to be angry about that, hold a grudge and then shake it off again. Because – no matter how you look at it – he is our master and we owe him our respect.

Still, that shouldn't be the reason for her strange mood.

That mood… it is just so _unlike_ my sister!

Jane isn't one to have guilt issues or be sick of this life (I mean, what vampire in their right mind is?), nor is she one to drown in her sorrows. My sister is a sensitive dreamer sometimes, a side she doesn't show to many people, but she isn't weak or dependant and definitely not one to ever give up, even if a situation seems completely hopeless.

Jane is a fighter, she has always been. Since the day we were born she used to be the braver one of the two of us, but the more reckless one as well. I had to get her out of trouble for that more than once, I still do. I mean, what else are older (only by a couple of minutes, but still) brothers for?

I'm sure I could help her.

If she would only talk to me about it.

But she never does, no matter how often I ask her about it.

I have to admit, I am completely clueless.

I even asked Aro to talk to her.

I'm afraid that only made it worse, if anything.

Master Aro is one of the few people I and – more importantly – Jane trust completely.

My sister, who usually doesn't let anyone besides me near her, always adored him and probably even loved him like a father, but lately, she doesn't even look at him, it makes me fear she is becoming disrespectful and that would have consequences sooner or later without doubt.

I can't help but being worried.

Jane calls me jokingly an oversensitive, overprotective child sometimes. It is true, I am. Why should I deny it?

But she is just the same.

She is a child, just like me.

She is devoted. Devoted as in 'loyal', of course. I mean, the way she protected our masters from that creepy little girl was certainly very loyal. Strange, but loyal.

And she is emotional. More than anything else.

She tries to be apathetic and strong whenever someone is around, but I can see right through her.

She calls it weakness, weakness because Jane of the Volturi is supposed to be tough, sadistic and devoid of all weakness. And display of emotions makes her vulnerable, makes her weak.

"No Jane," I told her once, disagreeing with her, something we almost never do, "your emotions don't make you weak. They only make you human."

"I don't want to be human!" she yelled. And I had to agree with her.

Because human neither of us ever wants to be again.

But her emotionality is hardly a new problem for her, is it?

Obviously, she is now irritated with Aro as well for some reason. So I asked her about that.

It seemed like I had hit a sensitive spot. Jane's eyes sparked. "You know sometimes… sometimes he is just so… egoistic and convinced that only what he considers right is… right. It is so _frustrating _sometimes!" she exclaimed, she seemed eager to let it all out, "he doesn't even take me seriously!"

"What did he do?" I asked bluntly. Jane doesn't just complain about Aro's usual behavior all of a sudden if nothing extraordinary has happened.

She didn't say anything.

"Jane," I tried again, "you can talk with me about everything, you know?"

But to be honest, I'm not so sure about that anymore.

Lately, I've sometimes got the feeling that I don't understand my own twin anymore.

It makes me feel uneasy.

Jane refused to listen to my attempts to defend our master. I tried to tell her that this was just Aro. That maybe she should not be that stubborn about it. That she should try to accept whatever he was telling her to do and not getting worked up about every small criticism.

"Alec…" she whispered and ran a hand along the edge of her desk, not looking at me, "you are getting it all wrong."

_How? How am I getting it all wrong?_

I asked her, getting yet another evasive glance.

She bit her lower lip. "Could we please not talk about this?"

"You are just like Aro," I sighed, "you can never admit that you too have weaknesses and flaws and truly mean it, can you?"

I don't know what upset her so much about this – I admit – rather direct, yet still harmless notation. But she clenched her teeth angrily and asked me to leave her room. She was close to yelling. Before I could say anything more she had already slammed the door shut right in my face.

Something is off.

---

_**Alec is very smart and realistic. Just too naïve for his own good.**__** Without knowing, he named Jane and Aro's crucial problem: the inability to admit and accept own weaknesses.**_

_**Alec defending Aro… I wonder for how long… o.O**_


	31. Defense and Offense

_**This is from Jane's POV again.**_

---

Jane piles her books.

She needs something to do, something to distract herself. She tries to bring some order in her bookshelf, tries not to think too much.

The immortal child… it was _that_ close. If she hadn't stopped her, the girl would have ruined everything, stupid and naïve like she was. The _thing_ would have told everyone about her and Aro, about their relationship and they would be in major trouble now. She doesn't even want to imagine...

Even Aro realized the danger. That's most likely why he is here now.

She glares at him, trying to look strong and _fine_, but she knows she is failing miserably.

He blocks the door, leaning against the doorway. "Jane, you can't always run away."

No, she can't. She is stuck here. Stuck because she loves him and shouldn't. Stuck because she is his and he knows, but doesn't want to because that makes her even more vulnerable.

Alec was right.

She keeps on arranging her books. Trying to ignore Aro. Refusing to look at him.

"The… _recent_ events made me think…" he says, closing the door behind him and stepping closer, "Jane, I think there are a couple of things I haven't made quite as clear as I probably should have..."

Jane bites her lower lip. _What was not clear enough about his words?_

"Would you… would you at least look at me?" he asks in a low voice.

She doesn't. She just keeps on piling her books, moving them back and forth and even he must know that there isn't any sense behind it, just gaining time.

She can hear him sigh.

"Jane," he picks up this one-sided conversation again, "I didn't want to upset you. I understand that you are angry, but you are being slightly unfair here."

She sets down the next book a little harder than necessary. What did she expect? An apology?

_You wish._

But he isn't finished yet. "Only try to look at this from my position…"

His voice is barely a whisper. And alone hearing his husky voice, picturing his contagious smile, thinking of his warm body against hers makes her waver.

But she keeps her expression apathetic. She is not that easy to soothe.

"I don't have many possibilities in this situation." He takes another deep breath. "I only want to keep you safe," he says, his voice full of concern, maybe true, maybe not, she can't tell, "I don't want anyone to hurt you."

"And what is it what you are doing then?" she snaps and turns around to look at him, the books all but forgotten. Her dark eyes spark.

"Jane…"

"I'm only asking you to tell your wife!" she exclaims, too agitated to care about keeping quiet any longer, "I'm only asking to be a little more of an equal lover and a little less of a worthless whore! Is that really too much to ask?"

"Jane, please…"

"You don't behave like I would mean a lot to you!"

"You… you have no idea!" He turns around abruptly, his glance piercing. The way he looks at her… it is almost frightening. "It's not that I don't want to or are too much a coward," he exclaims, "I simply can't! Oh, you have no idea, Jane. You aren't my concubine or wife, you are my _mate_! If anyone of my enemies ever finds out… you are fair game!"

She blinks.

_That's what it comes down to?_

He walks over to her and lifts her chin up with his finger.

"Yes," he whispers, "that's what it comes down to. If we tell them, someone would use it against me sooner or later."

She ducks away from under his arm and walks over to the window, still too upset to let his words sink in just now.

Because thinking about what he said… that makes it even more complicated.

_If we__ are mates…_

If you destroy one, you destroy both.

She presses her fingers down on the windowsill so hard she can feel it crumbling under her hands. She doesn't look down to see the imprint of her fingers in the stone. "Do you think the current situation is any better?!" she yells at him, "do you think getting hurt physically would be worse for me than _this_?"

She has to stop talking then. His lips against hers send sparks through her whole body and make her lose her focus.

How dare he kiss her like that?!

She is angry at him, but that doesn't keep her from kissing him back. He tastes even better than she remembered. Summer, honey and all the things she ever wanted. And her resistance melts away faster than his hand is in her hair. After all, it is mainly her own stubbornness that keeps her from apologizing… His arm has sneaked around her waist and her hands have found their way to his collar, clutching it tightly. And it would be so easy to just go back to normal…

_No! No Jane! Don't let yourself be convinced like that!_

But instead of pulling away she presses her lips against his just as hard as he does. Violent, angry and sweeter than ever. He sighs and his lips part slightly. She can feel his cold tongue tracing the curve of her lower lip, making her eyelids flutter.

She forces herself to not give in. _Watch your tongue or I might be tempted to bite…_

Aro growls warningly.

And she realizes that he has heard every single one of her thoughts.

He tries to kiss her again but she turns her face away.

_You are hurting me! You are hurting me worse than any other way by all this lying and hiding and cheating, don't you see? _She pulls her hand away from his and goes to sit on her bed, feeling so very numb.

_This… this is messed up._

"What do you expect me to do?" Aro whispers, his expression pained. He comes to sit down next to her and holds his hand out for hers again. This time she allows him to take it.

_Can't you… can't you at least tell Sulpicia? That way I would at least not have to lie straight at her face anymore. Besides, if she or someone else catches us totally unprepared… it would be even worse__… _

"I don't think that is a good idea…" Aro shakes his head. Already distant and defensive again.

Jane grits her teeth. "So you'd rather have her walk in on us sooner or later, or one of the guards and then the nasty rumors start?"

He tries to say something, but she doesn't let him.

"If you tell her first, she can't accuse you of being a manipulative liar," Jane continues quickly. She decided that if she can't win him over with emotions, she will try logic. "Even if Sulpicia flips out, there is no way that she is going to stab our back, because you would always know from her thoughts and she can't leave the Volturi anyway. If the guards know that she knows, they won't dare to say anything about it. They are loyal enough, they won't dare to run away to your enemies..."

She looks up at him, squeezing his hand and trying her best to keep her thoughts confident. _Of course, the disgusted looks and disbelief will hurt. A lot. But it can't be worse than the current situation, right?_

Aro stays quiet.

"Offense is the best defense." She tries a wicked grin.

She knows as well as him that he can't say anything against her logic. It is water-tight.

"You would make a brilliant stateswoman," he says and a smile plays around his lips, "if you only were a bit more calculating and less-"

"… less emotional," she finishes his sentence and rolls her eyes at him, "I know."

_Can't you just admit that I am right for once?_

His brows furrow at her thoughts.

She waits, trying her best to be not too impatient.

"Fine," he whispers in defeat at last, "I'll tell Sulpicia. If that's really what you want…"

Jane nods slowly, chewing on her lip nervously. _Yes. Yes, that's what I want. _She swallows.

Aro cups her cheek, his expression sincere. "… but under one condition," he adds, brushing his thumb against her cheekbone and watching her reaction carefully, "only if you tell Alec. He is worried sick about you."

---

_**Now Jane has a decision to make.**_

_**Next chapter will be make-up sex. …**__**KIDDING. ;P**_

_**Also, I would really appreciate some feedback. Right now I'm unsure about where I want this story to go. Just hit that small button that says "review" and tell me your thoughts. Honestly, it would really help me with my writing. Thanks.**_


	32. Compromise and Decision

_**I'm back from **__**my vacation and finally got the time to type my rough drafts and edited them. I didn't get eaten by a bear or anything. BUT I saw a street named "Aro's street" while on vacation. No kidding. So yes, I was laughing pretty hard.**_

_**THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS ON THE LAST CHAPTER! **__**You're awesome! :D They really help me to improve my writing and get some new ideas and keep me motivated, so I really appreciate it. Keep them coming! ;P**_

---

Jane swallows loudly before speaking after a long silence. "You… you want me to tell Alec?" she tries not to sound too panicked.

"Yes," Aro nods earnestly. "If I tell Sulpicia, you tell Alec."

"But…" she runs a hand through her short hair nervously, "he will not understand. He will hate me… and you."

_I can't do this!_

_Oh, he knew that exactly, the manipulative bastard!_

"Jane," he tries to get hold of her wrists, "Jane, believe me, I'm not trying to trick you. But if Sulpicia knows… if Sulpicia knows that Alec doesn't know… I know well enough to not give her or anyone else of that matter any opportunity to start rumors or intrigues. Because that is the last thing we want, isn't it?" He smirks, but his expression is not a happy one.

Jane lets herself fall backwards on her bed with a sigh.

This is what she wants. But the consequences… she didn't want to give them that much thought.

We'll tell them," she says quickly before she can decide differently.

"Are you sure about this?" Aro asks again, giving her that concerned look. "Your brother… is very loyal to you. More loyal than to anyone else. So if he gets this the wrong way…"

Jane understands what he wants to say. She has worried about this too. "I'll try to tell him in the best way possible," she whispers, "so yes, it is probably best if I tell him alone."

She tries to mirror his encouraging smile.

"Now about Sulpicia…" she starts.

"I can tell her alone," he interrupts, "no need for you to get involved."

She nods, all too happy with that. There is no way she is going to look Sulpicia in the eye when he tells her.

_Not that __I would be a coward! But…_

"I can't tell for sure how she will react," he says, "she is a very calm and reasonable woman… but that doesn't mean that she will like what I will tell her… She will not overreact… I hope."

_You hope? You make me just a little uneasy. Is that your intention?_

He rolls his eyes. "Of course not," he protests. "But I can't promise you that the whole… _affair_ will be pleasant."

_I never expected that._

"Do you even realize what I mean by _unpleasant_?"

"I know what I want. I don't want to hide anymore, at least not from _her_. I want her to know that you are with me." She glares at him fiercely.

"Very well," he sighs, "I still remember when I tried to convince you that it would not be a good idea to sneak out on St Marcus Day. You did it nonetheless. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to a brick wall."

_Oh yes? Just go on with insulting me. _She crosses her arms over her chest, pulling her legs close to her body. _Just because you're a damn good kisser that doesn't mean that I have forgiven you completely. _The anger is welling up again.

He seems to realize that too. "I don't have anything against brick walls," he quickly adds, "but – he puts his hand on her mouth to keep her from protesting – I'm afraid that your dramatic outbursts and extreme stubbornness will only get you in trouble on the long run."

Jane keeps herself in control with some effort. She has gotten quite good at controlling herself in the past months. "Don't make me have a temper tantrum again," is all she says.

He lies down next to her and pulls her closer to him.

_I am still angry at you._

"I know," he sighs. She can feel his chest move as he takes in the air. "But I sincerely hope you will forgive me one day," he adds and now he is smiling.

… _and then what? You will hurt me all over again?_

He rolls her over so she lies under him, his long black hair falling around her face and neck like a dark veil shielding them from the outside world, from unwanted glances and coming accusations. _I could wrap myself in his hair, _she thinks, _it would be long and thick enough to hide. It would be pretty._

"What if I tell you I'm sorry?" he asks in his whispery voice.

… _and then don't mean it?_

"What if I tell you I'm sorry _and_ say that I might have been not completely right for not telling you the reasons for my behavior?" Their faces are only inches away from each other, his eyes blazing into hers. It makes it difficult to keep her next thought for him coherent and assertive.

_That doesn't change the fact that you hurt me._

"Jane," he groans, "I'm trying to compromise here. You could be a little bit more helpful."

She bites back a laugh at his expression. Her anger and stubbornness are almost completely gone. _Do I get a real apology? _She smiles her most angelic smile at him.

"I am…" his features twitch, "not good at this…"

She waits, a small smile slowly spreading on her lips.

"I apologize for being an egoistic bastard," he finally mumbles, rolling his eyes at her, "but not for being rational."

She lifts her head slightly and wraps her arms around his neck to kiss him. "I apologize for being a pushy bitch," she murmurs, "but not for being emotional."

He smiles at her wording. "I've missed you," he simply says and kisses her forehead, her face, her lips.

He pushes up the thin fabric of her shirt, his hand moving upwards on her bare stomach, and then surprises her by planting a kiss on her bellybutton. His soft hair brushes against her naked skin. It makes her smile, it is just such an Aro thing to do. He knows exactly that her bellybutton is her most ticklish spot.

And then there is the hated knock on the door yet again.

But this time it is not Caius.

"I was looking for you master," Demetri says, opening the unlocked door. Aro is already in an innocent sitting position again, some space in between him and her.

"Master Caius asked me to talk about my assignment with that Mexican coven with you," he explains quickly and brushes back his sleek hair at the same time, like he often does while speaking. A habit he picked up to look more natural when talking to humans.

Jane counts to ten inwardly, but more out of sarcasm than out of real anger. Either her and Aro, who has survived several attacks in his early days just out of pure luck, have the worst of luck whenever they want to spend some time alone together or Caius is just very talented at ruining those moments for them.

Aro seems to think the same judging from his expression.

Demetri is giving her a weird look and Jane realizes that her stomach is still partially bare. She quickly pulls the shirt down and sits up.

_Let Demetri think what he wants._

She smiles at the vampire standing in the door and he flinches, probably expecting pain. That annoys her a little.

"I'll deal with that later," Aro says to Demetri, "but be so nice and bring Caius my warmest greetings and tell him I rather play cards with Jane than drink tea with him, will you?"

Demetri looks completely puzzled, and Jane probably as well. Aro isn't making any sense.

"Um… I will?" Demetri sounds like he doesn't know what else to say.

Aro chuckles lightly. "… and tell him also that if he threatens to go drink tea with Sulpicia, he should know that I am going to do that this evening." His smile is truly angelic.

So he is going to tell Sulpicia this evening.

_That is… soon._ Jane swallows and reminds herself that this is what she wants.

---

_**Nope, Aro's words are not supposed to make sense. He is just being crazy, giddy because Jane has forgiven him, hyper and feeling like he should pay Caius back by annoying him. Caius can only put pressure on Jane and Aro as long as Sulpicia doesn't know, telling Aro's enemies is not in his**__** interest. And it just sounded like a thing Aro would say when feeling hyper and silly. Or maybe that is just me writing at four in the morning. ;P**_

_**Jane just wants to be with Aro, wants him as "hers" (greedy**__**, spoiled Jane ;P). She knows (or at least thinks she knows) that any change will be better than this emotionally painful situation of hiding and pressure. She might be a little one-tracked and naïve in her determined, but still somewhat childlike way of thinking though… o.O Aro sees things a lot more rational, he knows too that a change is needed, but he is more realistic about the possible future difficulties.**_

_**I know I'm being mean with all those cliffies. But there are just a lot of things I want to make clear for future chapters. **__**Next chapter will be the talk between Aro and Sulpicia.**_


	33. Sulpicia: Disbelief

_**I'm sick. Writing keeps me entertained, but I'm not very productive **__**(one day for three sentences) at the moment and it would be nice to be able to EAT something for a change. -.- Well, I'll end my little rant here and give you the next chapter. **_

_**So I tried some character development for Sulpicia. Because if she were just shallow and passive that would be too simple… I even gave her a hobby: draw**__**ing. Artistic but classy, and requires love for exact details and a lot of patience. I think Sulpicia is a bit like that too. She is reasonable and controlled, sacrifices things for Aro and their power, but he depends on her just as much in return. They have built up their power together and have been a good team for millennia. They might not be in love as deeply as Aro and Jane, but exactly that makes both of them (and with it their power) less vulnerable. Because love and power just don't work well together.**_

---

**Sulpicia**** POV**

She smiles at her husband and then turns back to her sketching. She is working on a rather complicated pencil drawing of a young girl, she reminds her faintly of Jane with her cherubic face and pouty lips, sitting by a fountain, surrounded by untamed, virgin forest and grass. Of course she could bring the idea in her mind to paper in mere seconds. But she likes to take her time and get lost in the delicate details.

She can still feel Aro standing behind her, leaning against the wall, eyes closed. _Well, that's a little odd, _she thinks idly and puts a loose strand of her fair hair back in the tight bun on her head. Usually she is the quiet one, not he.

"How was your day?" she asks absentmindedly and shades a lock of hair on the paper.

"Well…" he starts but then breaks off. She turns around to look at him, curious.

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He has done that far too often for her liking lately. It unsettles her in an unknown way she can't really explain.

Intuition?

_Intuition about what?_Sulpicia is one to rely on facts, not on her intuitions.

She smiles at him.

He pushes himself off the wall. "Well, to be honest," he says earnestly, too earnestly, "I think we need to talk, my dear." He still doesn't smile.

She puts her pencil down and gets up to put one hand in his. _If there is something wrong, you can tell me._

She lifts her hand to his neck to caress it and he takes it and squeezes it lightly before he puts it back to her side.

"What is the matter?"

"Can you promise me to listen to what I am going to tell you deliberately?"

"Of course," she says, "what is it?"

He floats over to the window. Tall and majestic, a dark figure against the darkening sky, and she has to admit that this is yet again one of these moments where she has no idea what is going on inside him.

"This is nothing I ever wanted to have to tell you," he sighs, "but there is really no way around it anymore."

… _anymore? _She caught that short moment of hesitation before the word very well.

_What is this?_

She waits for him to continue.

He has still turned his back towards her, so there is no chance for her to read his face. She is mildly unsettled now.

"I'll make it short." He turns around, facing her. "I'm in love with another woman."

_What? _

_What? You… you are cheating on me?_

It feels like a slap right in the face.

And somehow, somehow she knew he was never really hers…

He takes her hand in his and what is the point in not letting him?

_Who? _She is surprised by how hollow her thoughts sound.

He stays quiet.

_Renata? Heidi? Chels- Why… why haven't I noticed? … __when-_

"Please don't get upset," he tries to calm her down, "and no, you are way off." She numbly holds his hand.

_Who?_

Hi sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose again.

"Jane."

… _What?_

"… What?" Her laugh is one of disbelief. "I really want to know, so please don't-"

"I'm serious." And it shocks her even more that he seems to speak the truth. There is no hint of his usual cheerfulness in his voice or expression.

"So you are trying to tell me… you have an affair… with _Jane_?"

"I'd prefer the term 'relationship'."

She takes in a deep breath to steady herself. "And of what nature is that _relationship_, may I ask?" she whispers, afraid of the answer.

She knows him well enough.

"I knew you'd ask."

_She is a child, you know that, right?__ She is a child. It's not possible it's not possible it's not possible-_

"She is _not_ a child." His tone is authoritative. "She is over seven hundred years old and mentally an adult. She isn't a child and you know I would have never-"

_You know what I want to know. _

"I know," he sighs.

_I have a right to know!_

"I love her," Aro says and she feels sick just listening to him, "I love her personality, her mind and yes, her body as well. Yes, we do have a sexual relationship. And despite what you might think, this was completely voluntarily for both us."

_Oh gods! _She pulls her hand away from his and glides over to the window, burying her face in her hands.

_This… this cannot be true!_

But at the same time she knows it is very true. This is reality. The Aro she knows would never play such a cruel joke on her.

But then again, does she really know him at all?

And she has just lost what she has trusted in blindly for the past two thousand years. She would have gambled her life that he would never be so foolish. Aro cheating on her, Aro risking his reputation and power, Aro risking _their_ reputation and power… it is the last thing she ever thought she would have to expect.

_For how long? Why haven't I noticed? Does he honestly like… _that_ better than me?_

"Sulpicia, please," he tries to explain himself, "it has nothing to with you, nothing with what you look like-" She shakes her head in disbelief.

_I mean, look at _her_! She doesn't have any class or style, she is a mere guard. She isn't even pretty! _Her thoughts take up in speed and seething anger. _Sure, those lips of her might be quite- … What does he see in her?! She is a… a… midget! She is a child! She barely has any curves! A fraction of what I have! How can she be fun?!_

Because that is all it can be: he must have been bored or reckless and then chose to divert himself with her. For fun. For mere amusement and the sick kick of it. The little slut is nothing but a temporary toy for him.

She would have thought more of him, but…

He rolls his eyes at her. "I knew you would judge me." He doesn't have to read her thoughts to know what is going on inside her mind. She has always been rather predictable.

"It is not easy to process…" she swallows, "that your husband is amusing himself with a _guard_."

"She is _more_ than a guard." Now he sounds almost angry and that's not what she wanted.

She is only his guard. A filthy thing whoring for more attention and influence, never getting enough. Nothing more. It makes her sick only thinking about- She'd rather not give it too much thought. _I never thought he would be one to take pleasure in something sick and wrong like that… I never thought he would fall for that…_

"… What now?" she whispers, not daring to look him in the eye directly.

He grimaces. "Obviously, I am not going to leave you," he sighs, "You've always been a very good… partner, the last thing I want is hurting you. And we both know that nobody should ever know about me and Jane. For various reasons that I don't need to explain in detail here. So this will only stay between the two of us. We'll work this out. Somehow."

She knows he won't leave her. He can't. Not after all they have built up together. He can't just throw that away. He simply can't.

She won't let him destroy that over a little girl.

So she has only one question left.

"For how long?"

"Sulpicia, please. I hoped you would be reasonable and understanding enough to talk about this calmly..."

"For how long?" she repeats again, desperately trying to keep her voice icy.

He doesn't answer. He refuses to be completely honest with her, even know.

He leaves for the tower room and leaves her standing there.

Her eyes fall upon the half finished drawing on the drawing table.

Such an innocent, angelic girl.

She grabs the pencil lying next to the drawing and stabs it right through the witch's eyes on the paper. Wood splinters, paper tears, graphite crumbles.

---

_**Ouch.**__** Aro isn't exactly known to be very sensitive and break news gently. If I were Sully, I would have kicked him out of the door with a lot of slapping and yelling, despite his awesome hair. Just saying. **_

_**Sulpicia is predictable. That is exactly her problem.**_

_**Sooo… what did you think? Jane will tell Alec very soon.**_


	34. Questions and Confessions

_**I usually reply to most reviews and **__**PMs and update regularly, but lately I've been rather lazy with that… Well, now I'm not sick anymore and should hopefully catch up soon.**_

_**Here is chapter 34**__** or "the things you never wanted to know about your sister".**_

---

Jane pushes the squeaky door open slowly and reluctantly. Her brother is there, sitting on his bed, reading an old book. He has brushed his lank, dark brown hair, and with his simple, dark grey cloak on he reminds her faintly of a monk in his plain, stone grey cell. It's like when she was human and had to go to confession all over again. The thought makes her shudder inwardly.

"Alec?" she whispers, "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course," her brother replies cheerfully, but then catches on her gloomy mood. He looks up at her, his eyes a bright, glowing crimson. "Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing wrong…" she searches for words, keeping her eyes on the floor, "just… something I need to tell you."

"Go on," he encourages her, patting the free spot next to him on the bed.

She goes to sit down hesitantly. "You might not understand-" Alec shakes his head and starts to say something, but she holds her small hand out to indicate him to let her finish, "you might not understand me, but could you at least try to and listen to me?"

"Of course," he replies, "we have always told each other everything, haven't we?"

"Well…" she hesitates, "maybe not everything…"

He tilts his head, his kind face too inquiring. "No?" he asks.

"It is really kind of hard to explain…"

_It's easy, really. If I__ just weren't such a dishonest coward._

"I'll listen," he has slightly turned his torso in her direction, watching her picking on the fabric of her cloak, he is still smiling.

_He will hate me for this._

"Uh, how about I ask you a little question first?" She scratches the back of her head nervously. She is not that sure anymore if she can really do this. But Aro has faith in her. They have a compromise. So she takes a deep breath. "Have you ever felt… like you have grown up despite being frozen in this _state_ – she gestures at her androgynous body awkwardly – forever?"

He takes a moment to consider her question and she is grateful for that.

"You mean… not being a child anymore?" His eyes, huge like hers, are the ones of a child.

"Yes," she says and her eyes follow the path of a skinny-legged spider in the dusty corner of the room. "So have you never felt like… a man in a boy's body?"

"Well…" he furrows his delicate brows, "no… not really." He carefully studies her face for a reaction to his words. She keeps her expression apathetic. She expected this. It will make it even harder of course…

"Of course, I know that we both can't be quite called children in the literal sense of the word," Alec adds, "we've seen too much and have too much responsibility to ever be considered real children, but I don't think I feel like a grown-up man, no." He looks thoughtful, his head resting on his palm. "Is there a specific reason you are asking me that question?"

"You know me just too well," she sighs and leans against his slender shoulder.

"Well, I _am _your twin." His lips turn into an affectionate smile.

She bites her lower lip. "I…" she forces herself to speak loud enough for him to hear," sometimes I feel like a woman in a little girl's body…"

That has Alec speechless for a moment. Then he puts his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them lightly. "You want to grow up?" he asks, a confused expression on his face, "you know we can't, Jane."

_Why is this so hard?_

"No…" she hesitates, "actually, what I am trying to tell you… I might have already grown up in a way without telling you about it."

He pulls away slightly to look her in the eyes. "How?" he asks, and his voice is not as calm as before.

"It will be difficult to understand…" She has no idea how she should continue. She didn't even make a real plan on how to tell him before she came to his room.

"Jane, you can tell me."

_Tell him already!_

She takes a deep breath. "Alec, I… I'm in love with Aro."

Alec blinks once. "… What?"

"I'm in love with Aro," she repeats again, too much a coward to look anywhere but at her hands in her lap. "I know it is hard to believe and I didn't believe it myself at first, but it happened, I fell in love with him and-" she starts to explain, her words jumbled and falling over each other, but Alec interrupts her and puts a soft hand on her skinny arm, probably trying to calm her down.

"You are confused," he says, his voice soothing, "Aro has always been very good to us and you love him like a father, a hero, you are grateful and loyal to him and admire him-"

"Alec," she speaks before he can say more, her voice is awfully shaky, "I am in love with him. I don't just love him as a _father figure_ or anything like that. I love him like Chelsea loves Afton."

"You are being silly." Her brother's smile is pallid and his eyes have lost some of their warmth. "You are a child, just like me. You cannot be in love."

"Yes I can." She has to remember to not pout or yell, because appearing like an immature little girl is the last thing she wants right now. "I feel devotion and lust and _love _like any fully grown woman and I know it is no illusion."

Her brother gives her a pitying smile.

"Jane," he sighs, "you might mistake your feelings for him as love, but he will certainly never return that sentiment and you will only end up heart-broken-"

"He loves me back."

Alec blinks twice. "… What?"

"I am with Aro," she whispers, "I am sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I wanted to but…" She trails off, leaving her sentence unfinished.

Alec swallows and clenches his small fists by his side, shaking his head. "He has a wife, Jane," he says, "He cannot be with you. He cannot _love_ you, it is impossible. I know you are trying desperately to be someone else, but you are still only a child. He cannot love you." He shakes his head again.

"Yes he can," she snaps at him and can feel the venom welling up on her tongue. The childish naivety and automatic assumption behind his words make her angry. "He can and does love me in every _grown-up_ way possible," she blurts out, her fingers gripping the rough fabric of her cloak in an attempt to calm herself.

And as soon as the words are out of her mouth she already regrets saying them.

Alec's expression turns to one of shock and disbelief. "Jane? Jane, please tell me… tell me you haven't." He looks up at her, almost pleading.

Silence.

She knows perfectly well what he is referring to.

_This conversation is not going to end well…_

"We love each other," she whispers at last, "is that so hard to understand? I am _not_ a child."

"You are a child!" Alec yells, "you have the body of a child!" He jumps up from his bed, his mask of calm completely gone.

_And yet h__e still refuses to believe everything I just told him._

Something inside her snaps. "He doesn't care!" she shouts back at him, "Aro doesn't care! He loves me and the annoying fact that my body doesn't show my inner, actual age doesn't matter to him at all!" She takes in a deep breath.

"But…" Alec stutters in disbelief, "you are a child! He can't…"

_Why__ is this so hard for him to understand?_

"Yes he can!" she yells, at her wits' end, "just for your information, he can and he does. We do everything other, _'normal'_ lovers do! Yes, we have sex! And there is nothing you can do about that!"

Alec blinks thrice. And then his teeth snap together.

"I am going to kill him!" he yells and is out the door at vampire speed before she can react.

---

_**I have discovered my love for cliffies.**___

_**Jane: "Yes, we have SEX!**__** And you know what? It is enjoyable and pleasurable and-"**_

_**Alec: (covers ears) donotwanttoknowdonotwanttoknowdonotwanttoknow…**_

_**Poor Alec. o.O**_


	35. Alec and Sulpicia

_**Yes, I'm back to writing.**__** Took me quite a while. To make it short, I just had two eventful, busy weeks and a stubborn, difficult chapter. But let's skip the explanations and excuses.**_

---

Jane runs after Alec as soon as she has recovered, her mind blank.

She always used to be the faster one of the two of them, but he is still about two seconds before her in the tower room.

There are only a few guards there and they don't turn around at first when they hear Alec enter. It is nothing exceptional, is it? Caius is not here, Jane can't decide if that is good or not. He would be one to react quickly in case…

"You…" Alec growls and strides over determinedly to where Aro sits.

She follows him quickly to keep him from doing something imprudent.

Everyone jumps just so slightly, their postures suddenly alert. Calm Alec is not one to ever get angry or disrespectful. Aro's eyes flicker from Alec to her trying to grab her brother's hand and his confused expression changes to one of understanding and concern.

"Alec, if you have something particular that you want to talk about with me, could we please do that when you have calmed down a little?" Aro speaks, his voice assertive and ringing with authority.

"I swear I'll-"

"Alec please, let's talk about this somewhere else!" Jane interjects hastily, fearing nothing more than Alec giving her and Aro away in his rage.

And then there is Sulpicia, standing by the door, her clouded eyes almost black.

_Oh no, please no. Not her!_

This is the last thing she needs right now.

It is almost bizarre how Sulpicia's entrance causes a small shift in the atmosphere in the room. Even though the Volturi wives barely ever show the power they hold, they still possess an air of superiority. Especially if their expression is as blank and icy and their posture as tense and rigid as Sulpicia's is now.

It is like a gloomy metaphor. The presence of a vulture usually indicates the presence of a carcass somewhere in the woods.

More literally speaking, if the wives come down from their chambers in the tower, there is usually something bigger going on. Everyone on the guard knows that.

And not only that, but Sulpicia isn't her usual kind, sweet self.

And by the way she stares, glares at her, Jane knows that Aro told her.

_You've made the mess, now you have to deal with it. I'll watch you. _It is almost written one the gorgeous blonde's lips as she stands there, leaning against the dark stone under an old torch mounting, her arms crossed over her chest. Her face a mask, only her eyes, her dangerously narrowed eyes are giving some of her emotions away.

Jane swallows.

But Alec is too enraged to pay attention to her. He is still staring daggers at Aro, a mere two meters away from him and even the big height difference between the two of them doesn't seem to put him off.

"Alec, please…" Aro's voice is still calm, but that only seems to enrage Alec more.

"You are sick!" he yells and the room goes dead silent, "you are a sick, manipulative bastard-"

Sulpicia is the only one who reacts quickly enough and has the presence of mind to dart across the room in a blur and slam Alec in the stone floor before he can do more damage. She twists his arms behind his back with a speed and strength Jane didn't think the meager blonde possessed.

Jane is at her side in an instant and holds him down to the floor.

Renata didn't even have time to really react, she looks a bit panicked, to say the least.

Aro's face is a mask.

It doesn't take Caius long to arrive, he must have heard most of this.

He pushes Jane aside and grabs Alec by the hair. "How dare you speak to your master like that?!" he hisses and slams her brother's head on the floor so hard that she can hear they grey stone crack.

It is truly heart-wrenching to watch.

Alec still struggles and she fears that he might use his talent.

"Alec, please," she whispers desperately, "we can talk about this. I didn't mean to deceive you but-"

"Liar!"

_Crack._

There is a small dent in the stone floor by now.

She feels so helpless. Her beloved brother lying there…

This is not what she wanted.

"Alec, Alec," the white-haired vampire hisses menacingly and too low for the guards further away to hear, "I strongly advise you to shut up now. You know perfectly well that any lower guard would have already burned for what you tried to do."

And finally Alec stops struggling.

Caius, still livid, walks over to Aro who was wise enough to keep quiet through all this.

"Thank you," Jane whispers as she and Felix take Alec from Sulpicia's hands to carry him to his room.

Sulpicia's dark eyes blaze as she looks at her with a mix of disgust and condescension. "I don't talk to _sluts_," she hisses, too low for anyone else to hear. Then she gets up gracefully and walks out of the room without throwing as much as a glance back.

Jane searches Aro's gaze, but he looks out of the window, nowhere else.

Felix quickly throws his cloak over Alec's eyes to blind him, so he can't use his talent. Just in case.

He throws her brother, still blind-folded, over his broad shoulders and carries him out of the tower room and all the way to his room as fast as possible without actually running, not saying a single word the entire way. Alec doesn't struggle anymore, he has given up. She follows them, ignoring the stares as they pass by some of the other guards, holding the doors open and trying, trying not to think about how much this hurts her.

Her own brother hates her for being in love. He thinks it is sick and disgusting and wrong.

This is not what she wanted.

Felix comes out of Alec's room after what seems to be an eternity to her. He walks over to where she is leaning against the wall to support herself. Not because her knees would fail her, they are too perfect and indestructible and _unchanging _for that, but because she feels like she would fall if she didn't have something real to touch.

"He just needs some time to calm down," he reassures her, putting his big hand on her shoulder, "he will forgive you, you know?"

But she is not sure about that.

"What if he doesn't?" She bites her lower lip. "What if he does something stupid, getting himself killed just because… just because…"

Felix hugs her awkwardly. "Don't worry too much, Jane."

---

_**Uh-oh…. o.O**_

_**I think Jane needs eye contact to use her ta**__**lent, so I figured that applies to Alec as well, at least to some degree, since they are so similar.**_

_**While Alec likes to see Aro as the culprit ("sick, manipulative pedophile"), Sulpicia does the exact opposite ("my Aro would never do such a thing, he has just temporarily lost his mind and the little slut shamelessly seduced him to get more influence").**___

_**And no, I don't think Caius and Sulpicia are being extraordinarily mean for humiliating Alec. He can be happy and thank his useful talent that he is still alive.**_


	36. Alec: Denial

_**Note to self: Never write on "Bittersweet" and an English paper about the book "Lolita" at the same time. It is good to see that Jane and Lolita are different, but it is creepy nonetheless. o.O**_

_**Anyway… here comes Alec. **_

---

**Alec**** POV**

I can't believe this.

Somehow it feels like I am in a very bad, surreal dream and will wake up any moment, only that I haven't slept in centuries.

My sister and my master?

Jane and Aro?

This cannot be true.

Maybe if I simply refuse to believe it…

But I can't tune out Jane knocking on my door, desperately pleading me to hear her out. I chose to ignore her after a while, maybe because she deserves it, maybe because I can't stand looking her in the eye without feeling very low myself for not being able to do so without thinking less of her.

Sulpicia and Caius both think she is a whore. I saw it in their eyes.

But they are directing their hatred and disgust at the wrong person. Because my sister would have never done this if she had been in her right mind, I am sure.

She is just confused at the moment.

Confused and naïvely looking for all the attention she can get, and he took advantage of that shamelessly.

He manipulated my sister, took advantage of her in the sickest way possible and I felt the strongest urge to rip his miserable head off right then.

I still regret that I didn't, even though it would have surely got me killed.

I believed him to be an honorable man. I trusted him for centuries, I trusted him with my mind. He always seemed so kind and yes, he even was something like a father figure to me.

I feel sick.

My sister is still only a little girl! He can argue as long as he wants, use shallow excuse of her being an adult mentally, she still has the body of a child. And how is she supposed to feel that kind of love when I don't?

She is my twin!

What kind of sick, twisted, manipulative pervert does he have to be?

It disgusts me.

Only thinking about his hands on my sister's delicate, porcelain skin and all over her fragile body, his forked tongue shoved down her throat…

Ugh… I don't even want to think about it!

Felix told me to stop being such a baby. He said I should at least answer my sister, he told me she is worried and hurt and heart-broken because of this.

I try. I really try but…

Felix. He knew about this and lied to me too.

And of course me sister would end up being heart-broken. I could have told her that, if she had only confided in me. Did she really believe that this could ever come to a good end?

Why didn't she tell me?

"Because I knew you would never understand," she had said.

And even though that statement feels like a kick to the stomach must feel to a human, even though I try my best, she is right. I don't understand.

I want her to be happy, I do. She is my sister. My beloved twin sister I always felt responsible for and swore to protect under any circumstances. I want her to be happy, even if that means letting her go.

But… not like this.

Not with Aro.

I mean, what does she see in him?

They are such opposites. My sister is apathetic and emotional. He is cheerful and cunning. How could that ever work?

She is only going to get hurt with her sensitivity and emotionality.

He is married. He is cheating on his wife and making my sister look like a worthless concubine. What about the morals he always talks about?

Why should I still have to remember the etiquette and not throw at him what I want to?

_Cheating liar._

_Pedophile._

_Sick, manipulative pervert._

I don't understand it.

Why is she interested in love all of a sudden, why Aro? How could I have not realized, how often have I looked the other way because I refused to believe my own eyes? A lot of things make much more sense now in retro perspective. And how could I have been so stupid? Have I done something wrong, have I not been there enough for her?

Doesn't she need me anymore?

And I keep my head in my pillow, pretending this is not real, trying to tune it out like the knocks on the door, but it is impossible.

---

_**GOOOO for that 300**__**th**__** review! :D**_

_**Alec is still a child in some ways. It's difficult for him to see why Jane suddenly (for him) would be interested in love and actually have someone else besides him in her life. Naturally, he is worried about her and thinks nobody could ever be good enough for her, HIS emotionally dependant, fragile baby sister. Of course he wants her to be happy. He tries. **__**He might even see it, in a way, but at the moment he just sees the DISGUSTING, MANIPULATIVE and WRONG.**_


	37. Romeo and Juliet

_**No, I have not abandoned this fic.**__** I just needed a break from being annoyed (bitchiness doesn't do a story good). I WILL finish this fic (I've already written parts of the last chapter after all), but I will take the time I need. If annoyance levels are high it will take me longer, if they are lower it will take me less time to update again. It is quite simple, really.**_

_**Anyway, on to the story.**_

---

Jane knows she is supposed to be on patrol tonight. But she just needs someone to talk to right now, someone to hold her and tell her she is pretty and lovable.

So her feet turn towards Aro's study before she has really decided that she is headed there.

He is there in the chair by the window, he looks up when she enters. The room is bathed in mellow darkness.

She quickly climbs in his lap and wraps her arms around his neck. He responds all too eagerly, pulling her close and kissing her on the lips, his lips soft and sweet.

There is a question she came up with when she was walking through empty corridors alone this night.

She thinks she knows the answer. But she asks anyway.

"If we… let's say we were human and both on a sinking ship and you could only save one of us… who would you choose?"

It is a stupid example, but she couldn't think of a better one that has still enough vagueness to it. He doesn't answer and she probably doesn't even want to hear it, it is just a stupid 'what if'. But she asks again anyway.

_Please tell me. I want to hear it._

"Why always torture others and yourself?" He brushes her lank hair out of her face, as if he just wanted to see what a ponytail would look like on her. But of course her hair is too short for that. She likes how his gentle fingers work through her hair, how he kisses the birthmark behind her ear. It used to confuse her, unsettle her even, these sudden changes in mood, the almost childlike habit of diverting himself with books, hair, simple passion. But she has come to the conclusion that she actually likes it.

It makes him more real. Human, but not in a bad, weak way.

Maybe it is not such a mysterious, inexplicable behavior after all.

She gets hold of his wrist and takes his hand in between hers. "Who would you save?"

The silence between them is comforting and eerie at the same time. There are only the faint sounds from the nightly city outside, her thoughts and then, after a good half hour of sitting still like this, with the patience and sense of time of a vampire, Aro's silent, soft words.

"I would save myself." His voice is calm, indifferent almost, but there is a layer of something more to it.

_Of course._

"We both now that this is nothing but a silly children's game," he says and pulls his hand away from hers to get hold of her wrists in return, "and my answer won't mean anything, because I could change my words, take them back, twist them on my tongue whenever I felt like it."

_I don't want the words. I want to see your reaction, read your expression when you say them__. You know that._

"Ah…" he chuckles darkly, "I see you are getting better and better at distinguishing liars by their choice of words and seeing through schemes and intrigues…"

_I have to, don't I?_

"I guess…" He runs the back of his hand down her cheek, neck, arm. "Although I've been never really talented at reading the intentions and feelings behind the words and thoughts. It has always been enough. Until recently, at least…" The accusation is there, like always, but with recent events… she understands a little better now what it must feel like for him. Or tries, at least.

_And you mean it? You would save yourself?_

He takes a breath. "You can call me selfish, egoistical… I am." His thin fingers and lips brush against her cheek and temple, light as feathers. "But I said I would try to be honest with you. And maybe you could also twist it… would you like to be the one left living? Would you want to be the one left living, without your mate? I wouldn't want you to do something stupid out of grief. So maybe dying in the place of someone you love is easier after all…" he trails off. "Or maybe I am just searching for excuses…"

_We are not like Romeo and Juliet._

"No we aren't."

And she doesn't know what she should say to that. Because he is right. Once again.

"Romeo and Juliet were perfect, but naïve," he muses for her, "and we know better than those fictional fools to never let some unfortunate misunderstanding get in between us."

She sighs and leans against his chest, imagining a heartbeat there under the layers of his clothes.

"And I don't like comparisons anyway," he whispers. "They always seem so shallow or insufficient. It would make us predictable, no?"

_Define 'us'. Other than 'the Whore and the Pervert'__, 'the Witch and the Devil', other than what everyone sees us as. _She tosses her hair out of her face with a movement that is almost stubborn.

He chuckles lightly. "I don't define 'me'," he says, "but you… you are a special little girl I am unfortunately – or perhaps fortunately after all – as crazy about as you are about me."

She smiles a little.

… _and our ending?_

"… is not written yet," he bites his lip, mirroring her expression, "why are you already thinking about the ending, my dear?"

She looks him straight in the eyes. "Because there is always some ending," she whispers, "because even immortality has some end. There will be a Judgment Day…"

He shakes his head, his good humor fading, she can see it. "I don't believe in humbug like Judgment Day," he says, "I don't. You of all people Jane, you should know better too. After all, you, the witch, are still here, aren't you?"

She doesn't answer. She just holds him close and he does the same.

But of course this moment has to end too.

"Now go back on your position, watching the castle, protecting the empire" Aro whispers, planting a final kiss on her neck, "before someone notices that you are gone."

And he keeps on sitting there in the dark, calm and ominous.

---

_**Yes, Aro is weird in this chapter.**__** I'm trying to develop more and more traits of his complicated character as Jane gets to understand him and his motivations better and better, but of course Aro is Aro and he will always have some secrets. And he really has a completely different background than Jane with her medieval beliefs and… I kind of need that for later. ;P**_

_**Reviews **__**would be really appreciated (because getting more favorites/alerts for a chapter than actual reviews annoys me). Not only for me, but also for other authors who are great and deserve some motivation, yet they have barely any reviews. So REVIEW! **_


	38. Politics and Plans

_**Guess what? My old computer finally died. -.- I literally just had time to grab the most important documents before it crashed. I hope I can get the others**__** later and my new laptop should arrive soon, but until then I am stuck with a memory stick and my sister's laptop. At least this machine doesn't burn me a hole through my desk because it is so overheated, but it doesn't have any spell-check. I still decided to update though, so I hope you'll bear the mistakes until I can edit.**_

---

Jane hugs her knees to her chest. She sits in the furthest corner of the tower room, not in the mood to go stand with someone else just to keep up pretenses. She tries to follow the conversations around her, but her mind always drifts to other things and even though it would be no problem for her ears to pick up everything, her mind doesn't want to cooperate.

"… a new coven… more powerful than the ones before…"

"… but in the North this time…"

They are all trying to gain new information from each other, although they should know that the masters only give out information when they consider it absolutely necessary.

"… Canada, east coast, they say…"

"… I've heard the have some exceptionally talented members… master Aro is interested in them…"

Jane sighs. _Count on Aro to always look out for possible advantages, no matter how unprofitable the suituation seems. _The idle thought, slightly disbelieving and affectionate at the same time, makes her want to go over to him and caress his cheek, lightly kiss his lower lip, but of course she can't. So all she does is tilt her head a little and letting her eyes follow his movements.

The five ancients are confering animatedly, even the wives came down from their tower to discuss this matter. Especially Sulpicia has a lot of objections about this, she doesn't want the others to do anything without thinking about all the possibilities throughly first. "Rash, imprudent, supposedly 'ingenious' plans won't be a good idea," the blonde says and gives Aro a pointed look. She wears a royal blue dress today that brings out her golden curls and perfect figure very nicely and Jane wonders how she can still keep up the sweet, charming smile.

Then again, she has done it for millennia now.

Athenodora's face, on the contracy, turned into an angry scowl when she saw her sitting there in the corner. Everyone knows that the silver-haired woman's temper is an even match for her husband's, and the way Sulpicia had to keep her back by her arm makes Jane fear she knows about her and Aro.

They avoid looking in her direction, it is not just her own fancy. Marcus and Caius always do that, they treat her like air most of the time, so it is nothing new, but Aro too… He knows everyone is watching him, so whenever his eyes flicker towards her, he keeps his face as expressionless as possible.

He is the same man who kisses and counts every single one of the birthmarks on her body out aloud, still doesn't want to agree that a heaven exists and laughs so endearingly whenever she tries to decipher something written in Etruscan. And whenever she glares at him angrily for laughing at her, he doesn't flinch even the slightest, he just kisses her until she is putty in his hands.

And yet the evening light that falls through the side windows makes his frozen features look like the ones of a sculpture. The single black hair, moved by his shallow breath, doesn't change a thing about that.

It makes it all seem so unreal.

She wishes Alec were here.

But he isn't.

He still doesn't talk to her.

He locked himself in his room and refused to even hear her out. After he had calmed down enough, or _brooded things out_, as Felix put it, he showed again. But he kept on ignoring her. Felix tried to reassure her that he just needed time.

But she is not sure about that.

And it hurts. So much.

She knows she has hurt him too, she can't deny it. But does she really deserve the cold expression void of all emotion, the disgusted side glances, the hurt looks?

Obviously he doesn't dare to be disrespectful towards Aro. That outburst in the tower room had been a nonrecurring incident.

He is a loyal guard, he does what he is told. But she supposes his thoughts are rude enough.

Alec is one thing.

Sulpicia is another.

When they meet in the hallway now, Sulpicia looks like she can't decide whether she wants to slap her across the face or turn around on her heels and walk away. But she never does either. She just raises her head, her expression an icy mask, and walks past her gracefully, not even as much as looking at her.

Jane does the same.

The others still don't know what is going on, even though they must sense that something is off. Heidi asked her about Alec's strange behavior the other day and she used shallow excuses.

Se has made the mess, now she has to deal with it.

It still doesn't seem fair though.

She does like the role of the tragic heroine a tiny little bit, but unlike fiction, reality doesn't always make up for all the disadvantages.

She has Aro, that is true, and she loves him more than her own life. Their conversation hasn't changed a single thing about that.

She has Aro, and that makes up for all the detested insecurity and doubts. But it doesn't make dealing with Alec or Sulpicia any easier, because she and Aro, they are both trapped in the golden cage that is the Volturi empire, and the power and responsibility that comes with it.

She knows now, a little too late, what he meant.

She still doesn't know where exactly she stands with Sulpicia, except from that hissed "slut!" in the tower room she hasn't spoken a single word to her ever since Aro told her. It makes her a little nervous, but of course she would never admit that.

_Play along. Defend your position. Watch your back. _Those are things Jane never felt comfortable with, but she has to learn them in order to hold her ground. Just like Ann Boleyn.

Yes, she likes the idea of thinking of herself as some sort of Anne Boleyn, the royal lover against all odds. But unlike Anne, she is not planning to get her head chopped off.

She and Aro, they are different.

They love each other, and shouldn't the true lovers always make it, no matter how great the odds against them are?

She doesn't always want to think such gloomy thoughts, so she keeps on listening to the conversations around her instead.

"… we should take them out soon…" she can hear Caius hiss.

"Patience, brother…" Aro says and puts a hand on the fair-haired vampire's shoulder, "maybe we should observe them first and see how things develop…"

"… you should not overestimate yourself, Aro…" Sulpicia's remarks lightly and returns to braiding her hair, but the concern in her voice is not lost to Jane's ears. "… your power is not unlimited…"

---

_**Jane is a little melodramatic, yes. And you might have noticed that I like to play with different tower room scenes at different stages of Jane and Aro's relationship. I hope that doesn't get too repetitive, but… I kind of need that for later…**_

_**I think all the books I have read on politics and history (yes, I'm a history geek and proud) have told me one thing: **__**One of the main difficulties with having a lot of power is that you always need to watch your back and constantly be in complete control over all the schemes and plots. Otherwise… you are faster beheaded and in the ditches than you can say "ooops, I think I've made a wrong decision". o.O**_

_**And of course that calculating way of scheming is not exactly one of emotional Jane's strenghts…**_


	39. Mistress and Concubine

_**Has anyone listened to the new album of Muse? I r**__**eally love their music, it is great writing music, in my opinion. Well, the song "Undisclosed Desires" reminds me so much of Jaro in a way… For this chapter is was mainly listening to Within Temptation though.**_

---

Jane is too caught up in her own thoughts, so she only notices Sulpicia when she already almost walks into her, standing there just around the corner, an unmoving marble sculpture.

_No, not marble,_ Jane decides. _Granite._

"Excuse me, mistress," she mumbles and wants to walk past her quickly, but Sulpicia's hand darts out faster than a snake hidden in high grass and grabs her right wrist, not letting go of it.

Jane slowly turns around again, her senses suddenly even more alert than usual.

_This is not good…_ she thinks and instinctively chews on her lower lip, like she always does when she is nervous and not sure what she should say or make of a situation. There is something about Sulpicia's frozen features that makes her extremely uneasy. She keeps her mind alert, ready to use her talent, just in case.

Sulpicia seems to be aware of that too.

She lets go of her wrist but doesn't move, blocking the way back inside.

They are outside in the court garden, under the covered walk just against the north wall. They are alone, nobody else is around, not even one of Sulpicia's guards.

It is late afternoon on a clouded day and Jane just wanted to go outside, escape the bone-crushing narrowness of the bleak castle walls. She needs air, even if she stopped needing oxygen a long time ago. The small garden was always a nice place to hide and daydream. In summer the scent of roses and herbs hangs in the air, but now all she can smell is dead earth.

She shouldn't have come here in the first place.

"I think we two need to have a talk," Sulpicia says and crosses her skinny arms over her chest, leaning against the wall casually. Her voice is icy, but controlled.

Jane waits.

To be honest, she has anticipated this for much too long now.

"Now… to set a couple of things straight…" Sulpicia starts. She wears a loose white dress and with her bone-white skin and fair hair she looks like an ancient goddess in the fading daylight.

Jane raises her head, looking her straight in the eye. "Yes?"

Sulpicia doesn't flinch. "I want you to listen to me," she says, her eyes fixed on hers as well, "and keep your tongue in check for once."

Jane bites back a snarky comment. She knows it would only make her look immature, so she lets it be. Sulpicia _is_ the mistress and she has to admit that she has already been more than disrespectful towards her in the past.

So she only nods, clenching her small fists under her cloak.

"You are sleeping with my husband."

Jane swallows and looks down at her feet.

"I'm sure Aro has already told y-" she starts to explain herself, but Sulpicia cuts her off.

"No, don't interrupt me!" she snaps, the anger and hurt behind her calm, composed exterior breaking through for a short moment. Then she lowers her voice again, making it sound honey-sweet and void of all emotion again. "I told you to only correct me if I'm wrong. And so far I am perfectly right, am I not?"

Jane clenches her fists even harder and nods quickly. She doesn't want to anger her more than she already has.

"You are a married man's concubine," Sulpicia continues, "disrupting the peace, hierarchy and reputation of our whole coven very effectively."

_Don't run away. Don't insult her. That's exactly what she wants._

But although she knows Sulpicia's strategy perfectly well it is still working. The stupid blonde knows that too, she knows how easy it is to make her temper flare.

But of course Sulpicia isn't nearly finished yet.

"You are an useful guard, but when it comes down to it, you are replaceable," she says. "When it comes down to it, you are only a naïve child, nothing more."

"So why don't you already get rid of me then?" Jane snaps back, forgetting about her earlier promise to keep her temper under control, "you know, since I'm obviously such a replaceable thing, nothing but a risk, an annoying obstacle?"

Sulpicia laughs out loud. "You mean kill you? Why should I kill you? Because you and your hopeless little romance are endangering our whole coven, the empire we have built so carefully over millennia?" She shakes her head slowly, almost sadly. "No, I won't kill you, because you are only a little girl. I won't kill you, because we both know it would cost me my head, like it would cost you yours if you ever tried to get rid of me."

"Because you don't want to get killed?" Jane murmurs, "that is a selfish reason, especially when you are claiming that you are only concerned about the empire."

It is getting really hard for her to hold back with her opinion. And what can Sulpicia really do to her in the end? Run to Aro and complain about her? It would be interesting to see whose side he would take…

"Selfish?" Sulpicia repeats and smiles a small smile, that doesn't reach her eyes though. But she seems to be more amused than irritated. "Maybe. We are all selfish creatures when it comes down to it. At least I admit it. And besides, I'm not here to threaten you, I merely want you to understand."

"Understand what?"

"Understand that there is no place here for that little star-crossed romance of yours."

Jan takes in a sharp, deep breath to calm herself a little. "Quite frankly, I don't think it is any of your business to decide that," she replies, her voice awfully shaky with anger, "maybe Aro and I have a saying in that as well, yes?"

Sulpicia is visibly unmoved. "I won't argue with him, because he always gets what he wants," she says and catches a leaf that dances in the air in her hand without even blinking or looking at it, "it is just Aro, and I don't question it. But I've expected you to have more respect and reason. Then again, you are probably really just a foolish little girl…"

"I am not! I am-" Jane starts angrily, but then she can hear the light footsteps coming closer.

"Is the little slut giving you trouble?"

Jane slowly turns around as Athenodora comes to stand next to her cousin.

Now they are two against one.

"We were just talking," Sulpicia says, glancing at Jane coldly.

Athenodora scowls.

The way the silver-haired blonde looks at her… like she really is just some 'little slut', it makes Jane want to claw out her milky red eyes just do something against the lump in her throat and burning feeling in her chest.

So now they are two against one. Well, that's still not going to keep her from speaking her mind!

"I wouldn't call you telling me what to do talking," she says and looks at Sulpicia, whose eyes narrow dangerously at her bold words.

"I'd say I have every right to, _child_!" the mistress hisses, "after all you are sleeping with _my_ man."

That's it.

There is only so much Jane can take without snapping back.

"I guess I can't say the same about you," she smiles mischievously, "you know, since he usually prefers to spend his time with me lately…"

---

_**Jane has just too much of a temper to ever stay mature for long in an argument. o.O**_

_**I'm convinced that Sulpicia is an even match for Jane. Jane is very intuitive and powerful, but Sulpicia has millennia of experience and she is not as naïve and "dumb" as a lot of people seem to see her. Really, she is one of the five Volturi leaders, so she must be more than just decorative.**_

_**And yes, once again I'm leaving you with a cliff-hanger. ;P The chapter just got too long, so I had to split it up. I'll upload the second part soon, until then… review! ;)**_


	40. Cousins and Siblings

_**Oh how I love this site and its frequent error messages… (SARCASM)**_

_**So I FINALLY (I won't even get started on how stressful my life was in the past couple of weeks) finished this chapter and wanted to upload it, but what do I get? Yeah, that's right: error messages. Oh great. -.-**_

_**Umm, anyway… I hope it is back to normal again now**__** and you get your chapter, even if it is late…**_

---

"Now you've gone too far!" Athenodora hisses.

Sulpicia's lips pull into a tight line, but she doesn't say anything.

Athenodora, on the other hand, seems to see it as her duty to talk on her cousin's behalf. "Who do you think you are?" she continues, her voice dripping with venom.

Jane tries her best to smile and ignore her. It is not even any of her business, this is between Sulpicia and her.

But of course the hateful snake has only just started.

"You are nothing but a silly girl, no better than a ten-year-old human-"

But this time Sulpicia interrupts her cousin. She just holds out her hand, keeping the silver-haired blonde back behind her. "Don't bother, Athena," she whispers, her eyes still fixed on Jane.

Jane's eyes are on her rival as well.

_How can she still be so composed?_

Sulpicia plays with the silver ring on her finger casually, as if this conversation weren't different from any other. But her lips are still a thin line and her jaw is tense. "You are only a child," is all she says to Jane.

_Of course. Only a child. Too naïve and not grown enough to understand anything about love. Too unknowing and androgynous to even be worth being loved._Jane's thoughts are full of bitterness.

The blonde looks down at her, she is more than a head taller than her and has an air of superiority. She is still much more composed than Jane could ever be, not letting her carefully built-up self-control slip. Only her face, usually downright beautiful and kind, wears a cold, hostile expression now, but that's hardly surprising.

After all, it can't be a nice feeling to know that your husband is cheating on you with a _child_.

Still, Jane isn't going to take her words just like that.

"Your husband doesn't think so," she replies, her arms crossed over her chest, trying to keep her voice calm, friendly and void of the emotions that are boiling inside of her.

"I'm sure my husband will come back to his senses soon," Sulpicia hisses, "you are nothing more than a pet, a toy, some kind of diversion to pass his time with."

They eye each other, both ready to defend themselves, just in case.

"I'm not his pet," she swallows back the anger rising in her chest, "he said he loved me, didn't he?"

"Love?" Sulpicia only glares at her disbelievingly. "There is no place for love here, you foolish thing!"

"Don't you think you are something special, little slut," Athenodora snaps at her, and unlike her still relatively calm and composed cousin, her expression is furious.

"I'm not a slut!" Jane instinctively snaps back, her temper getting the best of her. If Athenodora doesn't stop soon, she can't guarantee for anything.

But this time it is Sulpicia who adds insult to injury. After all, Jane's temper is all too well known and unlike the mistresses, she won't get away with everything. If she goes too far, she'll be in big trouble, Jane knows. Then not even Aro will be able to help her much anymore.

Sulpicia's voice is piercing. "Definition of slut: jumps in bed with other women's men, not caring about anything like morals or _respect_." Her dark crimson eyes spark. "And now look me in the eye again and tell me you are not a slut."

Jane blinks.

"Blinking might work with him, but not with me," Sulpicia says and crosses her arms over her chest. "If you decide to just go around and jump in bed with other women's men, you have chosen the wrong woman to do that to."

_If you lunge at her throat, it will most likely be your death. _Jane has to remind herself.

But that doesn't make it less tempting.

She can feel the small bit that is left of her control slip.

And then Alec is standing by her side.

Alec, who hasn't talked or looked at her in weeks.

"Leave her alone!" he snaps at the mistresses and stands in front of his sister protectively.

_Is he… standing up for me?_

The realization that her brother is here to defend her makes Jane want to hug him right there.

It is what keeps her from losing her temper.

Only that.

"I wouldn't say much if I were you," Athenodora throws at Alec. "I didn't hear somebody invite you."

But she and Sulpicia both know that they are even again now. With Alec on her side, Jane suddenly doesn't feel that outnumbered anymore.

"Oh, and who asked you to be here, Mistress Athenodora?" her brother says coolly.

The expression on Athenodora's face is almost comical, but frightening at the same time. "You _children _need to be taught some respect!" she fumes, "What do you-"

But before she can say more, they hear footsteps behind them and all of them turn around.

"I'm sorry for having to interrupt your talk," Felix walks over to them casually and comes to stand next to Jane. Athenodora glares at him.

"Come on, Jane, Alec," Felix comes to put his arm around her shoulder casually, nods politely at the mistresses and without waiting for a reply, he leads her away from the two women, whose glares she can still feel on her back, pulling Alec along by his arm. They walk away at a quick pace, not running, but definitely trying to get somewhere else quickly.

In the next hallway they walk past Heidi, who stands by a corner giving them a confused look, and Felix indicates her to come with them.

"What is going on?" Heidi asks, keeping up with them effortlessly.

"This place is rather turbulent and strange lately, so don't pretend there is nothing going on," she adds, grabbing Felix by his cloak to get his attention.

"Cat fight," Felix mumbles under his breath, "I decided it would be smarter to intervene before Jane snapped back."

She wouldn't have. She is more mature than that! She is not hurt by the way they look at her, glare at her.

And that is a lie too.

At least she tries. She really tries.

Felix feels her attempts to control her emotions. "Don't think about it too much," he tries to comfort her, "having a temper is not a bad thing. I would have already said some really nasty things to them in your situation. If that's any consolation." They turn around a corner and stop by the window.

Heidi looks at her, worried. "But what did you do? Why are they like that towards you all of a sudden?"

Jane sighs. She doesn't need Heidi to hate her too now.

"Wrong question, Heidi," Felix says.

She takes in half a dozen of deep breaths to calm herself. And then she smiles a half-genuine smile at Heidi. _It could be worse_, she thinks, _it's not like hatred is something new to me._ She is not as frail as she looks.

But Heidi is not one to give up easy. "So… the mistress and Jane are fighting?" she asks, looking like she is afraid of Jane's reaction.

Alec clenches his jaw, but doesn't say anything.

Jane gives her a small nod, hoping that will satisfy her.

Obviously, it doesn't. "But… why?" Heidi keeps on asking.

---

_**That was one big messy argument. Without any real result, of course, only more tension**__** within the Volturi.**_

_**Meh… **__**I have to say I am not really happy with this, but there was just so much information and tension for future chapters I wanted to bring in… in the end I decided to put some of it in this chapter and save some for later…**_


	41. Objections and Preparations

_**So I finally got to see New Moon. I have to say, I didn't really like it all that much, some things were good, others not so much… but I did like Jane's angry 'harumph!'s. ^^**_

_**Anyway, enjoy the next chapter. ;)**_

---

Jane sits on the roof, her feet dangling in the empty air.

She has a book with her, but has finished reading it long ago. Now she just sits, sits and lets her thoughts wander.

_If you bring it far__, you will grow into a good, pious woman one day. If God has mercy on you, you'll find a good man who is willing to marry you, _her mother used to say.

Jane chuckles. It is a mix between a bitter snort and a triumphant laugh.

If her mother saw her now…

Well, she surely has brought it far… Just perhaps not in the way her mother imagined.

Good she definitely isn't, and neither pious. It isn't really surprising though, after all she has gone through. Being called an evil, soulless demon your whole life and beyond, being burned at the stake in God's name and still saying your prayers like a good Christian every night… it is not something she is able to do. Not anymore.

She didn't even grow into a real woman.

But she is powerful.

And God didn't have mercy on her, but Aro did.

Aro, with his strange outlook on things. He always refuses to believe in any god, Christian or Pagan, Catholic or Etruscan, no matter how long she tries to convince him and with a stubbornness that is astounding. "The gods don't determine the course of the world, Jane," he told her once, "it is the humans who do. Or vampires, if you will."

"But isn't that quite dreary?" she asked. "To always bear all the burdens on your own? To never dare to hope for an afterlife? If you don't life forever and don't achieve all your goals, then your life and your attempts were just all in vain?"

"When you put it like that, it sounds so negative, Jane…" Aro replied. "But yes, I do believe that I never really can put my fate in someone else's hands, only in my own…"

That is the difference between them.

Jane sighs.

She could sit here forever, but of course that is not possible. A Volturi guard always has some business to attend to.

She brushes off her dress and forces herself to get up.

_It is almost ghostly, _she thinks as she makes her way through the upper floors of the castle and walks down a deserted hallway, the sculptures against the walls looking almost alive in the weak moonlight, _it is almost scary how my footsteps are so light that they could very easily be missed._ It makes her feel like some sort of fairy, dancing in the moonlight in her airy white dress.

Except that the mood here in the castle will always be gloomy.

Enchanted.

When she reaches Alec's room, she knocks on the door once and enters. Her brother is sitting on his bed, just staring at the wall.

She goes to sit down next to him, resting her head against his shoulder.

It feels good, to have him by her side again. Like before.

But deep down she knows that it will never be exactly like before again. Some things can't be undone anymore.

Still, she can still pretend. Pretend not to notice the concealed disgust in his eyes when he looks at Aro. Pretend not to feel how seems to hold her a little bit less close than he used to. It's not that he wouldn't love her anymore, she knows he still does because that could never change, but his trust… the damage done there will most likely never be repaired again.

It fills her with sadness, but what can she do?

Just hug him closer whenever he doesn't.

"We should leave now," Alec says, "the masters must already be waiting."

Jane nods and grabs one of his dark grey cloaks to throw over.

When they enter the tower room with the other guards through one of the small side doors, the ancients are still conferring.

"They are growing more and more powerful… how long do you still want to wait?" Athenodora is saying.

"But if we are pushing them, it is not completely unlikely that the whole situation might develop a very unfavorable dynamic…" Sulpicia objects. She is sitting in the chair next to Aro and Jane can see that she still holds a book in her lap, but that was probably forgotten when the arguments got heated.

There seems to be some disagreement about the matter on hand, something that is rather unusual.

"We just take them out." Caius says authoritatively. He looks like he is losing his patience with the ongoing discussion. "The whole coven. All of them. At once. Then there won't be any unfavorable dynamic developing."

"And what can we actually blame them for? What do we have real proof for?" Sulpicia asks back.

Nobody seems to have an answer for that.

Nobody except Aro, of course.

"Rumor has it that they are thinking about collaborating with the Romanians…and of course that is something we can't accept under any circumstances…" he muses and Jane notices the mischievous glint in his eyes very well.

He is scheming.

Caius scowls in response.

But before he can say anything more, Aro turns in the direction of the guard as a sign that they should rather start to organize things now and postpone any further discussion until later.

"Well then…" he claps his hands and gets up from his seat, "Demetri, Felix, Jane…you will choose five other guards to come with you and leave for Canada tomorrow."

He starts to add something more, but Sulpicia interrupts him with a small gesture of her hand, gets up as well and leans over to him to whisper something in his ear.

Jane grits her teeth and tries to listen closely, but she can't hear what the blonde is telling him. She notices very well how her skinny hand rest on his arm and one of her golden curls brushes against his cheek.

But Aro doesn't seem to agree with Sulpicia. He shakes his head. "I have decided that Jane will lead this mission," he says and the tone of his voice makes it unmistakably clear that he won't accept any objection. "She has carried out missions like this one before and was always successful, so I don't see any reason why she shouldn't go this time as well."

"I was just saying that you might as well send Alec…" Sulpicia says calmly and readjusts a hairpin that has escaped her artfully arranged hair. "His talent will just be as useful in this trial and why not let Jane take a break from the frontlines for once?"

They have this unspoken rule that, unless it is something very unimportant or something very important, either Jane or her twin brother go, the other one always stays at home. It is safer that way.

But it is usually Jane who goes most of the time, not Alec. She likes a change of scenery and it is also always a chance to use her talent again because she rarely ever is allowed to within the walls of Volterra.

So why is Sulpicia even getting involved in this decision?

_Shouldn't she be happy to have me out of the way so she can try to steal my lover away from me? _Jane wonders. _She should just stay out of this, _she thinks and wrinkles her nose, _I want to go._

"I appreciate your considerations," Aro says, his head turned in his wife's direction, "but I don't see why we should change our tactics now. It is not like anything has changed." His words are insistent and the look he gives the blonde is more pointed and darker than she probably is used to.

Some of the guards start to exchange confused looks, Sulpicia and Aro usually never openly disagree with each other.

"Very well," Sulpicia says, sits down and opens the book in her lap again without looking at her husband any further.

Aro's self-confident smile is back.

"You'll leave tomorrow evening," he announces. "Now go and make all the necessary preparations."

---

_**The Canadian coven… (insert dramatic music here)**_


	42. Schemes and Targets

_**No, I'm not dead. I just didn't have a single minu**__**te of free time for the past three weeks and figured I'd better get my four hours of sleep per night instead of passing out over writing fanfic… o.O**_

_**This chapter is the encounter with the Canadian coven. Badly written action scene ahead. **_

_**No, seriously now, I try… but… I wouldn't call action scenes my strength. o.O**_

---

Jane takes in the scenery before her eyes. It is beautiful in that slightly gloomy way. The sun has set about an hour ago and the darkness is creeping over the plain land before her eyes, lulling in the large areas of forest and trees, whose yellow, ocher and blood-red leaves are colorless now.

Just grey.

It is the time of the day when almost everything is quiet, even more so since the next human settlement must be miles away.

But despite the darkness, her eyes can see everything just as well as if it were bright daylight.

She can see the fourteen vampires standing by the shore of the lake about one mile away.

Of course they have awaited them.

They are many. More than expected. As if they have gathered some acquaintances and allies in addition to the original coven. Jane recalls that Aro only talked about ten at the most.

Well, if they can deal with ten, they can deal with fourteen as well.

Jane decides that they need to pick them out one by one.

"Everyone should attack one of them, then move on to the next," Felix suggests. "They will be too scared to have a plan or form groups and instinctively fight for their own life like cowards, not caring about the others. So if we are fast, we can go through the second row before they even know that the first one is dead."

"That's what I was saying." Jane smiles her evil, angelic smile.

The Volturi guards all stand lined up, ready to fight. They have done this countless times before.

"I've got your back," Felix, who stands by her side, grins at her, "looks like an easy enough job."

She takes a closer look at the group by the lake.

A young boy with pale blonde hair, who couldn't have been more than a few years older than her when he was turned, seems to be their leader. Strange. She wonders what the reason for that is. Clearly not experience, because he looks rather young. And naïvely optimistic too.

As he sees the eight dark cloaked figures advancing, he suddenly jumps up from his crouched position on the earth and as if that had been a sign, the others immediately adapt their postures as well. They are all alert now, ready to fight, and they seem organized.

The boy whispers something to them, like a charlatan whispers to his followers.

_Is he giving orders?_

Jane clears her throat to get their attention. "You have broken the rules," she informs them, her voice high and piercing.

_What rules? _is the question she usually gets asked back, _what did we do to deserve this? We didn't even know those rules!_

She has heard that question a lot. If their opponents aren't already too frightened, that is.

She would have an answer to that question, even if she doesn't know if it is really justified. She always has. She doesn't question Aro when it comes to this.

Jane expects the pitiable coven in front of her to ask that question, but to her surprise they don't. The just keep on waiting there, lining up to a loose row.

_What are they doing?_

Again, the young male with the pale blonde hair whispers something to the others, too quiet for her to hear. She glances at the other guard members, but they are just as clueless as her.

_Are th__ey scheming? _

That's not a good sign. Their opponents are usually too frightened or naïve to even have a plan.

She decides that they need to act now.

She nods once and the guard attacks.

She picks out the strangely optimistic boy. No need to burn him with her gift, she is sure she can destroy him with only her hands and skill.

But then something very strange happens.

"Go!" the blond boy exclaims and at that signal the two vampires on the two ends of their loose group suddenly take off running into opposite directions.

This behavior takes Jane and the other Volturi guards completely by surprise. Demetri and another guard run after them as soon as they have realized that they are trying to escape, but the Canadians still have the advantage of surprise on their side, which gives them some head start.

Jane immediately focuses on the slender man who is running towards the right and he falls on the ground in agony, but before she can try to stop the woman, Jane is surrounded by ten other vampires.

Instead of concentrating on fighting whoever is closest to them, there is a focused glint in their ruby eyes.

And the pale blonde boy grins at her.

"Hello there," he sneers.

It all happens really quickly. A sharp pain suddenly pierces her right arm and then her arm is not there anymore. She spins around, in pain and not understanding. The vampire holding a piece of her arm in his hands drops to the ground screaming in agony, but she is surrounded all of a sudden. And it takes her a split second to realize.

They very well have a plan.

They have a clear plan, with a clear target.

She is the target.

In the split second she has, she can feel her heart sink, but she doesn't have any time to pay attention to it.

They all focused on her, just her.

And she is outnumbered.

An infuriating, raw anger possesses her at that grim realization and she lunges at the boy on the ground in front of her. He is strong, but she manages to tear out a piece of his granite throat, the screeching sound of stone being torn from stone ringing in her ears.

But they have encircled her and she can only knock out one at a time with her gift. She makes them scream, she shakes off their iron grip, she dives away from their razor sharp teeth.

Another screeching sound and stabbing pain, this time just above her left shoulder blade. She gasps in pain. Grits her teeth and tears on a female's head.

She can't shake them off.

"Jane!" she can hear Felix yell frantically.

A final, excruciating pain shoots through her neck, her senses fail her and then there's nothing.

Just grey.

---

_**Cliffhanger… again… ;)**_


	43. Safe and Vulnerable

_**Ehhh... it has been a while since I last updated? o.O **_

_**Actually, I suppose that is an understatement... (shifts awkwardly)**_

_**But as an excuse, I had a lot of other things going on in my life, went through massive "writer's depression" (that's what I call the state where I have lots of things actually almost finished but can't bring myself to ACTUALLY finish them because I feel like everything I write is rubbish) and... I guess I just needed a break from fanfic, or at least the whole Twilight fandom (sometimes things tend to overwhelm me a little). **_

_**I don't even know, are people still reading this? o.O **_

_**I've actually planned for about ten more**__**, well thought-out chapters for this fic (most of which are almost completely finished), but considering the big hole that my long absence has probably left and the vague feeling that most readers will most likely not be very happy with what I have planned... I've decided that it would probably be the best thing to end the story after only a few more chapters and... leave the rest to the reader's imagination? **_

_**Either way, **__**I've been writing on some fics for other fandoms as well and might publish those in the near future. Yes, I WILL start with a regular update routine again soon. ;P**_

_**End of long author's note, here comes (FINALLY!) the resolution of last chapter's cliffhanger.**_

---

Jane tries to open her eyes, tries to move her hand, but her body does not respond.

However, even though everything is still black and numb, she can hear voices. They sound muffled and so very far away, like she is under water, not able to resurface.

"… what happened?" She has no idea to whom the agitated voice belongs.

She feels oddly tired, she feels like she is drifting.

"Jane!" someone yells. And this time the voice sounds more familiar. Alec or Aro. But it's difficult to tell which one. Somewhere in the back of her dim mind she knows that it shouldn't be. Alec's voice is bright and childlike, Aro's is deep and whispery.

Where is she? What happened?

Is she dead?

"Is she dead?" someone asks anxiously. The voices are getting clearer now, closer.

The darkness is lifting. She still can't move her limbs, but she can feel that she is being moved, put down to the floor, and the floor is cold and hard.

"Oh my God!" she can hear someone exclaim. And for some reason she finds that funny. What God?

Someone is on her right side and someone on her left. She can hear the rustling of cloth.

"No, she is not dead," she can hear Aro murmur.

So that's him. The wonderful warming touch on her palm. She tries to move her fingers, tries to wrap them around his.

"Thank God," Felix breathes, "I thought we were too late. They were all around her."

The vampires they fought. How they all suddenly attacked her, just her. The memory comes back step by step.

"But how could this happen? Felix, I told you to take care of her!" Now Aro is furious.

"I didn't see it coming!" Felix tries to defend himself, "it still doesn't make sense. It's like they picked her out! They were all around her all of a sudden and now they are all miles away and we have no possibility to find out what this was all about."

Her eyelids flutter and Alec notices. "Jane? Jane? Can you hear me?" he asks anxiously.

She opens her eyes. And there is Alec, bent over her, looking very worried. Master Marcus and Caius are in the room too, as is Felix, he must have been the one who carried her in.

She throws her left arm around her brother's neck but doesn't let go of Aro's hand.

Aro, who isn't looking at her.

"Felix, I demand an explanation," His tone is authoritative and he's still close to yelling, "tell us about everything that happened!"

The bulky vampire obeys this master's order.

He tells them about the easy-seeming fight that went horribly wrong and nobody says a word. She must have been in a worse shape than she thought. She looks down at her body, but everything is where it belongs again. She tries moving her head carefully and it seems just fine.

"It still doesn't make sense though," Alec mumbles, still holding her in his arms. "Why would they pick her, what makes her so special that killing her is worth more than winning the battle?"

The silence is eerie.

And then Marcus speaks, surprising everyone in the small room. His voice is only a faint whisper, void of all emotion. "Maybe…," he hesitates, "maybe they didn't just pick her out randomly, or because she appeared to be the leader of the guard." All heads turn in the direction of the vampire standing by the window, his back turned against the hall.

Aro gets up from the floor, withdrawing his hand from hers, walking over to Marcus. "What are you trying to say, brother?"

Marcus turns around, his expression the same bored mask as ever. "I'm trying to say that, maybe, that boy had a talent similar to mine." He holds out his hand for Aro to let him read his thoughts.

She watches his expression carefully. His eyelids flutter close and his lips pull into a tight line.

Then he suddenly jerks his hand away and the look in his eyes makes her stomach twist with an uneasy feeling.

"What?" Caius asks. He looks back and forth between Marcus, still standing by the window, and Aro, who has now started pacing around the room without pausing, his hands clenched, his knuckles bone white.

"Mates," Marcus whispers, "if you destroy one, the other one will be quite useless or weak too."

Caius looks at Marcus like he has lost his mind, but then it begins to dawn on him at the same time it does on her.

"Perfect!" the white haired vampire exclaims, and for a moment he looks like he is going to lunge at someone, "that's exactly what I warned you of! And now we have the disaster! They found the Volturi's greatest weakness: a little girl!" He throws his hands up in the air and Felix, standing rather close to him, cautiously takes a step back.

Aro goes to lean against the rough stone wall and buries his face in his hands, frozen to a sculpture.

"That's how you destroy an empire," he murmurs as if only talking to himself, "you destroy its center pieces and then you can watch it crumble slowly before your very eyes without having to move even a finger."

Marcus only sighs.

Jane's mind is still a little fuzzy, she suddenly feels sick.

Aro pushes himself off the wall and walks out of the room without as much as looking at her.

---

_**As stated in Eclipse, vampires can be torn into pieces and then put together again. However, **__**as we can see in the New Moon movie (Aro just tore the guy's head off! o.O), it would probably take their bodies quite a while to heal, like the mortar a broken statue is put together again with needs some time to dry. I'm assuming that Jane was in such a bad shape that it took her a while to recover, her body went into a state of shock and unconsciousness until it was completely healed again. Does that make sense to you?**_

_**And sorry if this chapter sucks, my English has gotten a little rusty, it seems... o.O**_


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